Farewell

H has finally decided to take a look at the blog and has taken extreme offense at what I have written over the past couple of years.

I should like to point out that while I may disagree with the point of view of my in-laws and perhaps that of many French people, I do appreciate the inside look into the French and quite enjoy the extreme cultural differences even if I do not agree with their outlook on things - life is all about learning, after all. I will also readily admit that some conversations and stories have been slightly exaggerated in order to provide a steady stream of laughs, but the H has failed to see the humor in this and believes that what I have written is cruel and insulting. This blog was originally intended to be a way to keep in touch with my friends overseas, and slowly became a (humorous, in my opinion!) outlook upon the cultural differences between France and America. Contrary to what the H may believe, I do not hate his family at all - I believe they are good people with good souls and hearts, and I am very sorry that he has taken this all in a negative light, despite the fact that I meant it to be comedic.

Therefore I will be taking a hiatus and I may or may not continue with this blog - the H will most likely not agree with anything else I may write about France and will probably moniter what I write - I do not believe that I will be happy not being able to express myself and I believe the H will take issue with everything I write, so perhaps the best solution may be to stop. I will have to ponder this issue in depth, so we'll see what will happen.

This has been quite an adventure and I have been grateful to have an outlet for my writing; indeed I have been grateful for everything I have experienced.

I know, it's been awhile!

Things have been busy, busy.

I went to Paris recently for the weekend for a wedding, which was fun while I was there but not so fun coming back, mostly because I had to go to work the next day. Surprisingly enough, I managed to hold up okay the next day.

The day I got to Paris, the in-laws had a big dinner planned for that evening, with the H's grandma, his grandma's best friend, and his godmother, who stayed for the weekend.
One of the funnier things that happened that weekend was that the godmother spent forever talking about the university in England (not Oxford nor Cambridge) where her 21 year old son is doing a study abroad.

Godmother (GM): There's a whole campus! It's like a community! Students live on campus!
MIL: Ah, bon?! (Really?!)
Me: DUH! I've mentioned it before! The vast majority of Anglophone higher education institutes have a campus!
GM: Oh, it's beautiful! It's all green grass and trees - it's a really huge complex, and students live in student housing right on campus!!!!!!
MIL: Really?! On the campus?
Me: DUH! EVERYONE does!
GM: Oh, goodness, and they have like, all these large buildings for the classes, and a computer building, and a cafeteria!!!!!
Me: DUH!!!! EVERY college has that!
GM: There is even like, a shuttlebus that students who live farther away on campus can take to their classes!!!!!
Me: DUH!!!!!!!!!
GM: And my son is one of the youngest students there!!! All the other students are way older because they've done all this crazy stuff, like traveling the world, or working in the real world for one or two years!!!!!!!!!
Me: Well, DUH!!!!!!!!! LOTS of people do that!!!!!!!!
MIL: (sniffing) Not in France, we do not. That would be crazy.
Me: Well, I think it's a good thing to do. It gives you more life experience than you'll ever get in a classroom.
GM: Well, my goodness, it was so wonderful, this whole "college experience" that they have in these Anglophone countries. It must be really great! It's like, a whole life!
Me: Well, yeah.
GM: I tell you, it really opened up my eyes. I had no idea that a college could be so nice and pleasant. It's really like, another planet compared to France. I had no idea!!!!
Me: Well, yeah.
MIL: (throwing up her hands) Well, that's all fine and dandy, but here in France, every single student has FREE ACCESS to higher education. It's all FREE. Everyone knows that in America no one can afford college.
Me: Yeah, well, you get what you pay for. That's why French colleges are all crappy with no cool computer room, dorms, or professor office hours.
MIL: Yes, but it's free.
Me: Yes, but an education is an investment.
MIL: Why pay so much money when you can get it for free?
Me: Because it's all about the quality.
MIL: You can get just as good quality for free.
Me: No you can't.
MIL: At least every student has the right to a free higher education in this country. No one in America can afford college and only the rich and elite have access to higher education.
Me: That's not true.
MIL: Oh yeah, well how do they pay for it?
Me: Um, it's called a scholarship. Or a student loan.
MIL: It's ridiculous to spend so much money on something. And for FOUR YEARS!
GM: Yes, well, I didn't have to pay that much. Only 3000 euros, because my son is on the Erasmus exchange program.
Me: (to myself) Yeah, aka the Party Program like in L'auberge espagnole. Whateva!
(out loud) I'm going to bed. I'm all jet lagged and tired.

The next few weeks might be busy with work and all, but in the meantime I leave you to peruse this hysterical SNL skit:

Optimisim

So, I just read in the New York Times that an avalanche occured on Mont Blanc and that 8 are missing and presumed dead.

"'There's no chance of finding anyone alive,' French Interior Minister Michele Alliot-Marie said while visiting the area."



Wow. Way to be optimistic and reassuring.


Full article here.

Olympics Frenzy

I am so excited - just two more days until the Olympics!!!!!!!

Last weekend at Mom's house, Mom was saying that now that her son-in-law is a non-American, she can suddenly see things through his eyes - because she has been in the US for so long and has gained US citizenship, she's pretty much used to all things American.

One of the big things Mom noticed (through the eyes of the H) is that Americans are crazy about winning. We LOOOOOVVVEEE to win, and we are a crazy competitive people. This winning thing has always baffled the in-laws and my other Frenchie friends - a friendly game of Monopoly or cards becomes a crazy showdown with yours truly, who is guilty of being hyper competitive at times. It reminded me of last year, when they showed the World Swimming Championships on TV in France. A French swimmer was up against Michael Phelps and the poor Frenchie did not finish very well - something close to last place, whereas Phelps (obviously) took 1st place. The French swimmer was then interviewed by good old Nelson Montfort, who was all, "Wow...so you did NOT swim well...what happened?!" and the French swimmer was all sulky and upset (and then, in typical Frenchie style) said, "Well, duh, I was swimming against Michael Phelps! I mean, the guy ALWAYS wins...it's really not fair at all; he doesn't give anyone else their turn to win, he always has to win, and it's really annoying."

Well, when I heard that line, I shrieked at the top of my lungs and the H became very alarmed, thinking that maybe there was an insect in the area. "Oh my god!!!!" I shouted, "what is WRONG with that guy?! Puh-leeze, it's a freaking sport, you're there to WIN, not give other people a chance to win! Suck it up, French Swimmer! You lost because you SUCK!"

Anyway, I read in the New York Times this morning that the French Ministry of Sports or whatever is hoping that France will bring back at least 37 medals. Whatever! Everyone knows that all the medals will go to China and the US...and maybe Russia will get some too. France will probably make their goal of 37 though, if you include silver and bronze medals, which we all know merely means that you lost the gold medal and thus, the competition! Even H agrees with me that the French rarely win gold, but often win bronze, though H likes to think that 3rd place is actually a very good thing.

In other Olympics news, I find it really annoying that people are politicizing the Olympics. I mean, yes, we all know that China has got a bit of a dodgy human rights record, but the Olympics are about the BEST IN THE WORLD coming together to duke it out in their respective sports, so I think everyone should just leave all the politics out of it! As far as I'm concerned, if certain athletes and/or countries feel that strongly about China, then DON'T GO TO BEIJING for the Olympics and just boycott it once and for all, like people did during the Moscow games. I had read last week that German athletes would have a choice of T-shirts with various political slogans printed on them (stuff along the lines of "Free Tibet" which I find very annoying because they are not even asking to be completely separate from China) which I find very insulting to the host country, and it's not like the German athletes are there to join in the demonstrations - they are there to try to win gold medals for Germany! (By the way, good luck with that, Germany). Athletes (at least here in the US) live their life for the Olympics (except in sports like basketball and soccer) so everyone should just concentrate on winning and not on harassing China about its laws and policies (which, I might add, might seem barbaric to some cultures, but hey, maybe it works for China. We wouldn't know, considering the fact that we are not actually Chinese people living in China...)

Anyway, I am all excited for the US to win their medals although I am really just rooting for everyone (except maybe Laure Manaudou; I don't know but there is just something about her that bothers me) and I hope everyone can have a good time. Yay, Olympics!

Grrrrrrr

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!


Carla Bruni is not only on the cover of Vanity Fair this month, but she is also on their best dressed list!!!!

AND on Friday, she sang to Barbara Walters on 20/20. Here is the link.


Ugh. I do not get all the fuss. I especially do not understand why all of America is in love with her. Come on, people, wake up! It is all a web of lies! She is totally playing everyone! Argh!!!!! And why are people not outraged that she serenaded Barbara Walters?! What kind of a First Lady goes on TV and sings a song from her upcoming album?! Carla should do more Brangelina-type activities like giving all her money to charity and visiting orphans in Africa! That's what First Ladies do! And is it just me, or is it really, really annoying that she keeps comparing herself to Jackie Kennedy?! Ugh. Anyway, I actually went out and bought Vanity Fair and read the article and got myself all worked up into a fit of rage...then I brought the magazine into work to lend it to a Frenchie co-worker...who is borrowing the magazine tonight so that she, too, can read it and work herself up into a fit of rage. When I get it back, I'll see if I can get around to posting some excerpts - there are some real doozies in there about how she regrets making her "relationship" with Sarko so public and how she has given him a makeover and all that crap.

In other non related news, the job is going well, and I am very excited for the Olympics to start at the end of the week. I've completely become accustomed to waking up every morning at 7:30 am (and you thought I'd never be able to do it!) and in fact I believe I am following in my father's footsteps of not needing much to sleep - I am in bed every night by 1 am and usually doze off around 2...but I'm actually not that tired during the day.

I've been suffering from mosquito bites - there is a vicious little mosquito flying around the apartment and it's the kind that gives me the crazy creepy reaction. In fact, I had one on my arm last week (it's more or less gone down now, so the bite is not so horrifying to look at anymore) and it was the talk of the office as everyone gathered around me to scream "Oh my god!!!!!!!!". I got another one near my butt the other day but that one has started to calm down too. I am merely suffering right now from one of those giant, painful pimples that take several days to erupt, but still hurt. It is unfortunately right by my nose and the bump has surfaced, but the zit hasn't shown itself yet. Grrrr.

Let's see...oh yes, H has gotten himself one, possibly two, internships, so he is very excited. H works in film production, but has no idea how it all works over here in the US, so this is a good opportunity to relearn the ropes...and all in English! His English is also slowly improving, although he still hasn't gotten rid of that pesky habit of "I must to go..." or "I must to be..."

Le petit Nicolas

Oh, Nicolas Sarkozy. Le petit Nicolas. It's just been one blunder after another. I almost feel sorry for him (but not too much, because I really like to dislike him - and he makes it SOOOO easy). I mean, the minute he takes office, he goes off on vacation in the US, thus inviting himself over to a BBQ with Bush, then he more than doubles his salary. Then he does really embarrassing stuff like insulting civilian passerby at a fair, checking out an Israeli model's cleavage, marries a former supermodel now wannabe pop star, gets drunk with Putin and then makes a speech (while intoxicated), pocketed a MontBlanc pen at an EU summit, visits the Pope while accompanied by the most vulgar comedian in France and spends the entire visit texting people, and goes around firing and hiring people who work in the media as a way of showing off his power. Not to mention he is obviously forever being snubbed by other heads of state, as has been happening recently with the whole Olympics.

Alas, Sarkozy has suddenly decided to attend the Opening Ceremoy of the Olympics in Beijing. It's so obvious that he doesn't want to miss out on hobnobbing with other important heads of state - and that he wants to be there to stick his head even further up Bush's ass. I mean, it so obviously went something like this:

Sarkozy: (like, a year ago or something)....and I MAYBE will attend the Olympics, but ONLY IF China and Tibet start talks with each other and they can come to an agreement! Free Tibet! But I might just boycott the Olympics!
China: Who is that little man trying to impose himself in our affairs? Is he someone important? Do we even care if he comes for the Olympics?
Tibet: Um, actually, we don't want complete and total freedom, we just want some more autonomy.
China: Whatever. Shut up.

(Late last month/early this month):
Sarkozy: Hey, so I'm thinking that like, MAYBE I'll come to China after all, seeing as China and Tibet have decided to start talking.
China: Who IS that little guy? And what is that junk spewing out of his mouth? I mean, these discussions with Tibet have been scheduled since like, 2 years ago...
Tibet:..........
Sarkozy: Though, I do think China does need to improve their human rights record....
China: Ugh, whatever, Sarko! You're not even invited! Don't even bother coming! WE DON'T WANT YOU HERE.

(Last week)
Bush: Yeah, so I'm gonna head over to Beijing for the Olympics...mostly as a spectator. Ya know, to support the American athletes and all. Me and the wife are gonna head over. It'll be fun.

(Day after Bush's announcement)
Sarkozy: Hey everyone, guess what? I'm totally going to go to the Olympics TOO!!! Isn't that awesome??? I'll be bringing along my trophy wife, Carla Bruni, former supermodel. She's coming out with an album this month, so everyone should buy it! Oh, and yes, Carla will be wearing flats again. I have condemned her to a life without heels. I'm so excited for the Olympics! I'm gonna tell the Chinese president next week at the G8 summit. I'll bet he will be SOOOO psyched that I'm coming! Awwwww yeah!
China: No, seriously, who IS he? Who invited him??? Didn't we tell him not to come?
Bush: Dang, I was counting on a mini-vacation, enjoying myself, watchin' some sports! That's like that time Sarkozy invited himself over to a BBQ at my country house last summer. I mean, I am like, the most hated US president ever, I just want to try to enjoy the last few months I have left. Can't a guy catch a break?!

Benefits

Today I received my benefits and orientation packet from the Large Corporation. It is scary and exciting at the same time - scary because there are lots and lots of papers and forms to fill out, and exciting because I get lots and lots of benefits and this is really a big step in my life.

I admit, I do not think I will ever be passionate about bras, but I am quite tempted by all the perks of this job. This will be the first time in my life that I will have normal working hours - no crazy pre-fashion show hours (i.e. 9am - 2 am) - they have explained that I will get to go home every day no later than 6:30 pm. (On the other hand, I start much earlier than I have before - 9:30 am!) I have a REALLY good health insurance package, plus I get a 401k, life insurance, travel accident insurance, dental, and something about dismemberment (though I think this falls into travel accidents or something). The people on the team seem to be really very nice people, and I have been told, "There are no divas here; no people running and crying!" I mean, I realize that this is par for most jobs, but not where I have always worked.

So this will be a whole new interesting experience. Maybe I will love it, maybe I will hate it, but I am loving the feeling of freedom. I don't have to worry about staying here because there won't be any other positions open anywhere. And I don't have to worry about being pigeon-holed, as I would in France - people in New York actually LIKE it when you work in other areas.

Anyway, I'm hoping that maybe I can eventually volunteer at the ASPCA in the evenings - like maybe I can learn to walk dogs or something. We'll see how it goes.

I probably won't post very much this month, as I will be starting work next week. I probably also won't be writing very much about work - I'm already worried that I've written too much information, as I don't know what the company policy is on blogging (and believe me, I will NOT be asking - no one needs to know the real identity of Parisian New Yorker!)

Oh, and in another note, the in-laws can finally breathe a sigh of relief, in particular MIL, who was very stressed about the whole health insurance issue (the H can be covered under my plan as a beneficiary). Not to mention I had always claimed that it is much easier to find a job in the US, and within a week of my moving back to NY in March, they kept asking every other day, "So, where's your job? How come you haven't found your job yet? Huh? I thought it was so easy to find a job in the US?!" (the H is also guilty of doing this). Well, it may have taken a bit longer, but at least I had tons of interviews and people actually RESPONDED, plus I ended up with more different options (believe you me, I would never, ever have been offered an interview in anything other than womenswear in Paris).

My first (real) job

Yay!

I've decided to go for the bra job - I found out this morning that I didn't get the childrenwear position. So there you go - everything works out for a reason.

I have to deal with the paperwork but I think I will start as soon as it is all done - probably right after the 4th of July holiday.

Yay!

Job Update

This afternoon I received my very first (real) job offer!

It is all very exciting.

I am still waiting to hear back however from the Large Corporation. I had to do a project for them and this morning I went and showed it to them. Not really sure how it all will turn out, but I know that I do have the profile they are looking for (the problem is that it is not womenswear, but childrenswear). Then when I got home after the project review, I received the offer from the Other Large Corporation - this one will be designing bras (again, not really my passion, but it would be a definite plus for my resume).

It has been a real adventure - I sought out the advice of (French) person here in NY who is a friend of a friend and also works in fashion. See, I was quite worried about either of these two positions as they were the most serious offers at the time, but I was quite obsessed with not becoming pigeon-holed into a specialty area (since my passion is actually high end womenswear). The Frenchie pointed out that yes, this would be a gigantic problem in France, and if we were in France, he would tell me to reject both offers (then again, this wouldn't be a problem as I would never even receive these offers in France!). Frenchie also said that in NY it is not really a problem to switch areas as it shows you are adaptable and blah blah. So now we'll wait and see if the Large Corporation from this afternoon will make an offer as well. I have to admit that for the time being I am leaning towards the bra designer job because a lot of womenswear is lingerie-inspired, and also because the people at this particular Corporation seem to be really, really nice. This is quite rare in fashion, especially the more high end designer you get, the bigger the chances are of working in a very negative atmosphere.

Anyway, this is really all very exciting. I have to have a background check and drug test should I accept the bra offer, and I have received my contract and a whole pamphlet about the benefits the Corporation offers (401k, health and dental!!). However, as I didn't understand anything about the insurance mumbo-jumbo, I will be discussing it with Mom, who will explain the finer details about things like PPOs, HMOs and whatnot. (I don't even know what an HMO is!) So exciting!

When It Rains...

I read this article in the New York Times, which was quite interesting, about Barack Obama and what his nomination means for France's black population.

I also read the article to the H, who was not impressed. "Bah!" he said, "You Americans hype up everything - it is SO not a big deal in France, and no one cares. Just like in France it is not a big deal about those riots, but here in America you all think it's some major news story!". Well, I don't know, but I do think that the H, being white, and being a "français de souche" would definitely not be able to see things from the point of view of a black person.

In other news, things have been quite hectic. I had an interview yesterday, one this afternoon, and three more interviews this week. It's quite odd, as I pointed out to the H, that these interviews and callbacks all seem to come in waves. When I first got back and started looking for jobs, I had several interviews all at the same time, in the period of about two weeks. Then suddenly, it seemed as though everything came to a complete stand still, as I received zero responses, then it started pouring interviews. It quieted down again in the past several weeks, and now everyone is calling me again at the same time. I'm quite hopeful this time around, as two of the interviews are actually second interviews, plus one is from someone who received my resume via a third person and contacted me about a position opening up. I'm crossing my fingers to hear back from a couple of other places which would be more appealing to me, although they are not Large Corporations, but small high end womenswear companies, and the position would be for womenswear design. On the other hand, the second interviews are with Very Large Corporations which I feel would be much more interesting in terms of salary and benefits, but they are not in womenswear.

Ah well. We shall see. I have resolved not to stress out about it, and will just let it all Flow. Anyway, must do project for second interview number 2.

**Update: Just got back from 2nd interview number 2 with Very Large Corporation and must do special project for them, which means a 3rd interview...

Possibilities

Argh! I know I really should not, but I have been incredibly stressed out about this whole job thing. I keep asking "WHY??? WHY???" even though I learned for a fact the other night while out with other friends from design school that many companies are actually having a hiring freeze right now.

Anyway, I was all browsing around for some sort of a part-time job, as our funds are slowly dwindling (and thus making me even more stressed out) and saw a posting for a dogwalker. See, the thing is, I really do love animals (I grew up with cats) and I've always thought it would be something fun to do. I had actually been wanting to volunteer at the ASPCA (preferably doing something like dogwalking) so I've been thinking about this part time dogwalking thing. It's a large agency that provides dogwalking and pet-sitting services, and they only take people on part-time. The only problem is that I've never actually had a dog before - although as the H pointed out, it's not like it's very hard to do. The H thought it might be a good idea for me, as it would occupy some of my time, I'd make a few bucks doing it, and I can finally stop harassing him about adopting a dog:
Me: Please please please PLEASE let's adopt a dog!!!!
H: NO! Dogs belong in the country, not the city. It's inhumane to keep a dog in a Manhattan apartment.
Me: No it's not. Millions of people here have dogs. There are even DOG RUNS in the park! It'll be FUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
H: Whatever. I do not want a dog. I do not want to walk around the streets of Manhattan picking up poop.
Me: But millions of people do it everyday here! And it looks like so much fun to take dogs to the dog run!
H: But you want a big dog, and our apartment is too small.
Me: You know, my old next door neighbor had a German Shepherd. And the couple behind our apartment has a medium sized dog. It looks like an Akita to me. Akitas are very cute dogs.
H: Dogs are a big responsibility. I don't see you getting up early in the morning to take the dog out for a walk.
Me: But I can! I love dogs!
H: But you've never had one before.
Me: And now, maybe I can, if we adopt one from the ASPCA!
H: Ugh. No dogs. I don't want a dog. And no bringing your cat over from your mom's house. I don't like cats - they are really scary.

Anyway, the problem is that the dogwalking agency wants people to be available during the days for a minimum of 5 months - which seems like a really long time to me, because what if I land a job in the next 5 months (which I hopefully will)? To complicate matters further, I heard back from an HR person from A Very Very Large Corporation with whom I met several weeks ago. She really wants to place me in the Large Corporation, as she thinks I "get" their aesthetic and she loves my work and I am just a very great all-around person. (Well, she didn't actually say that, but you know what I mean). A new position has opened up in the Large Corporation, but it would not be in womenswear, and would I be interested?, she asked. Well, it was all very confusing because it seemed to me like it was the same position she had in mind when we first met. I told her sure, I'd be interested, but wasn't that the same one she mentioned last time, and then she was all confused herself, then insisted it was a new position that had just opened up. (I highly doubt this, because it sounded exactly like the one she mentioned when we met). In any case, I said it was fine, and also (ah, how clever of me!) asked if they hired any freelancers. She was all, "Ooooh, yes, I shall forward your resume to my colleague who handles all the freelancers," so maybe something will turn up in that area. Although I must say, I am starting to get quite worried about this HR person - she is really such a nice person, and has such a great and warm personality, but I think maybe she is confused what with all the myriad of positions that may or may not be available within the Large Corporation.

Anyway, I guess I'll put the dogwalking idea on hold for now, although I'd be willing to bet thousands of dollars that once I say OK and commit to 5 months of 11am - 4 pm availability, something will come up on the job front within 2 weeks...

Job Hunting

Aaaaarrrrgggghhhh!

The job hunting is not going well. Or maybe it is, but I just think it is not, only because I'm impatient for a job. I've been looking since mid-March and we are already in June now and I'm starting to get worried - I didn't think the job search would take so long.

That said, I have had plenty of interviews. The thing is, there are days when I get several calls, almost in a wave, of people requesting to meet with me, and then there are those stretches of days when nothing happens at all. This week (and last week) have been these kinds of long days.

I was getting worried, if only because I keep getting called for interviews, but nothing comes of it. Part of me thinks that people are just very curious about me and they just want to see what I look like, because:
1) the very first thing people ask when they meet me is "Do you have working papers?" or "Are you authorized to work in the US?" or "Do you need to be sponsored for a visa?". (This is when I explain, "No, I'm a US citizen and the other person either sighs with relief or looks at me all weird). This also furthers my suspicion that no reads the cover letter part of your email, since I have explained everything in my cover letter.
2) Then I always inevitably get the question about what it was like working with Super Cool Creative Director Who Came To The Company After I Left. I am thus obliged to answer, "Um, no, I was at the company before the Superstar Celebrity Creative Director arrived." (To which people always give a disappointed "oh..!")
3) People then ask me, "Wow, so, how was it, working at these haute couture houses?", then, "How did you get to work there?", then "Is is hard to work in France/Italy?", and finally, "Do people in Europe sponsor for a work visa?"

And then to top it all off, people end up telling me stuff like, "Wow, your portfolios are great, but your profile is too upscale/luxury/haute couture." Which is really, really annoying because I mean, they've SEEN my resume, and sometimes they have SEEN some jpegs of my work, and they MUST OBVIOUSLY KNOW what my profile is! I mean, I make it a point to always include rough sketches that go with the aesthetic of the company I am interviewing at, but it's like, all anyone really remembers is my professional portfolio (of published work) and nothing else. Grrrrrr! So frustrating!!!!! (Not to mention that I'm looking for ASSISTANT positions, so we all know that it's not like I'm ACTUALLY going to sit down and DESIGN the entire collection - everyone knows that I will be spending all my time doing boring stuff like updating line sheets and probably a bunch of flat sketches and sending stuff out via FedEx.)

Finally, a little anecdote: I interviewed at Super Cool/Trendy/Famous Fashion House here in NY, whose style is very minimalist, very deconstruction...you get the idea. So before I went in, I did a bunch of rough sketches that went with the whole minimalist, deconstruction idea. But the weird thing was, when I went in to interview with the two Creative Directors, they were behaving really oddly. They were like, "Come in, have a seat!" so I sat down and they sat down across from me, and it was like....complete silence....for 1 minute....before I said, "Well, let me show you my portfolios!" As they thumbed through my portfolios, there was....complete silence....which was very odd because most people ask me questions of some sort whilst thumbing through the pages. Except this time, it was literally.....complete...silence. I started to worry, so I figured I should maybe talk a little bit, so I kept saying stuff like, "Blah blah, this was my inspiration...blah blah...and here you can see I modernized it, while keeping the general silhouette....blah blah...and I used a lot of brocades and velvets, but softened it with some silk chiffon and lace....and I was really intrigued by the shape of the sleeves, so I did a few details like this on the cuffs...and then with the knits, you can see I went with a fine cashmere, because with this stitch it shows up better, but then with this other group, I went with a chunky knit but added some tulle with it...." and I was greeted with...complete and total SILENCE. Of course, after a good 10 minutes of chatter with no response whatsoever, I started to get nervous and thought, "Well, maybe they don't appreciate the chatter?" so I shut up. After that, one of the directors says, "Well, we've just started looking, so we'll be in touch," which was said in manner of "Thanks, but no thanks". I mean, WTF was that? They obviously made up their minds before I even showed up, and I almost would have preferred that they cancel the meeting instead of making me trek all the way out to almost 12th Avenue in heels and my giant bag of portfolios (and spending like, $12 on the cab out there).

Ugh. I know, I know, the economy is bad and I just need to be patient because something will come up soon, but it is just KILLING ME because I am SO IMPATIENT right now.

Lost in the Supermarket

I know, I know, I have been quite scarce lately, but then again, I've been really busy this month.

Anyway, things are slowly moving along and the H is very slowly starting to adjust.

However, there was a bit of a crisis when we went food shopping. As everyone knows, I am a huge fan of Whole Foods, and especially of their 365 Whole Foods brand, which is excellent, not expensive, and is manufactured in factories with excellent separation techniques (to avoid cross-contamination with common allergens such as milk, wheat/gluten, nuts, shellfish, etc.)

Things the H has learned (to his dismay) about the US supermarkets:

1. There is no such thing as Picard (that classic French frozen foods store). Thus, we do not buy our herbs frozen, but rather fresh or dried. "What do you mean, you don't have frozen herbs??? What do you mean, there is no Picard?? Are you saying that you live like barbarians?!" was the H's response.
2. We Americans do not consider yogurt to be like, an actual dessert. Thus yogurt is sold in single-use containers and not in a 6 or 12 pack like in France. Plus, each yogurt is like, 99 cents or something. "Why are the yogurts so expensive? How do people eat dessert?" was the H's angry reaction. ("Ummm, yogurt is like, a snack you eat at like, 4:30 pm, or maybe you eat it with your granola and fruit in the morning," I retorted).
3. There is no cheese course in America. Not only that, but the cheeses imported in from France are like, a zillion dollars. "Why is cheese so expensive? We can't afford to buy cheese at these prices every day!" cried the H. ("Uh, yeah, that's because we Americans are not cheese freaks like in France and we do not eat cheese after every single meal," I said).
4. With the exception of Trader Joe's, wine here is quite pricey. Not only that, but the Italian and Australian wine sections are quite large, perhaps even larger than the French sections. "Why is wine so expensive? We cannot afford to spend $10 on a bottle of wine a day!" complained the H. ("Ummm, we don't drink wine with EVERY SINGLE meal here in the U.S.", was my response).
5. "Why is it so NOISY?!" exclaims the H, every time an ambulance/police car/ firetruck passes by. "Must they put their sirens on SO LOUD?!"

On the other hand, the H has remarked on quite a few positive points:

1. At least in NY, when you send a resume out, people actually respond.
2. The portions are HUGE. This is very good when he wants to buy a bottle of wine - he is very much into the large bottles that cost $7.
3. Pizza can be purchased and consumed by the slice rather than an individual pie. This also means much less wait time and you can even eat your food to go.
4. The Duane Reade Dollar Rewards Club is actually a pretty good deal. (When you get 100 points, you get $5 off your next purchase).
5. Whole Foods is actually not much more expensive than a regular old supermarket, especially when you buy the 365 Whole Foods brand. Plus, their stuff is way better.
6. You don't get penalized into buying a bag if you forgot to bring a bag to the supermarket. In fact, at Whole Foods, if you bring your own bag, they take 10 cents off your bill for each of your own bags that you bring.
7. Customer service is really efficient in the US. What's even cooler is that it's free to call them up and lots of times, they are open 24/7, so you could call them up at 3 am if you wanted to. For free. Oh yeah, and when you go out to eat, waiters fill up your water glasses all the time, without being asked to.

Attention whores!

Yes! Attention whores, the whole lot of them!

Just CALL THE DAMN VOTE, Indiana! (Or, more specifically, Lake County, Indiana!) You're killing us!

It's like, 1 AM and they STILL haven't finished counting!

What, are they counting ballots by hand?!

Arrrrrgggghhh!

You know, I always thought people from Indiana were weird. Though this is solely based on that time I met this girl from Indiana who told me all about how she has to drive across a river (like, literally, because apparently there wasn't a bridge, which I still cannot imagine) to get to her house and that she had sex like, 5 times a day in the woods (because her house is in like, total wilderness, which I guess is why there is no bridge over the river in front of her house).

Getting into the groove

I don't feel like talking about the saga of my apartment. It is still going on, re: the rent money and all, but I have only negative thoughts about the guy who subleted my apartment - negative thoughts in manner of "I want to strangle him", so I shall not say anything about it at all. For now.

Anyway, things are moving along. Except maybe our funds, from HSBC France. Supposedly HSBC France wired our money to our HSBC US bank account but it's been almost a week now and we still haven't received it. I am willing to bet that the delay is coming from France, and is not a US problem.

The great news is that we discovered a great little restaurant about 2 blocks from my apartment (which means delivery! Holla!) called S'Mac. It's tiny, and they serve all sorts of fancy mac 'n cheese varieties - and the best part (you knew this was coming) is that they serve GLUTEN FREE MAC N CHEESE!!!!!! I had the "Cheeseburger" mac n cheese yesterday for lunch, which consisted of cheddar and ground beef. It was SOOOOO good, but it was quite heavy, especially as I haven't eaten THAT much cheese in awhile, so I didn't feel so great afterwards, but I got better as the afternoon wore on.

Today we went to Mozzarelli's, a pizza place that serves GLUTEN FREE PIZZA and it was SOOOOOOO GOOD. Mozzarelli's is a little farther away, on 23rd between Park & Madison, but it was SOOOOO GOOD. They have all sorts of different GF pies, and you can order by the slice, like everyone else. I got a pepperoni slice and it was SOOOOO GOOD. It was almost just like a real pizza.

(BTW, shout out to Celiac Chicks for all the great GF restaurant reviews).

H is adjusting, slowly but surely. He never fails to be surprised by how friendly people are here, and how customer service oriented people are in stores and restaurants. Yesterday we headed over to explore the Whole Foods on Houston Street (we usually go to the one at Union Square) and it was like, so much better than the one at Union Square - it is much bigger and there are way fewer people, plus they have a special beer shop attached to the main store, and offer cooking classes! Anyway, I have been having major issues with my hair these days - I had recently noticed that my favorite Aveda Rosemary & Mint Shampoo listed "grains" as one of their ingredients! This unfortunately coincided with a massive attack of eczema on my body, and now not only do I have patches everywhere, but my hair is oily and my scalp is freaking out - it's all dry and itchy and weird. I figured Whole Body at Whole Foods would have something for me but I looked at all the labels on all the shampoos and almost all of them listed something along the lines of "wheat", "barley", "wheatgerm oil", "hops", etc. The only one that didn't have any of these kinds of ingredients was the Whole Foods 365 brand of shampoo. I figured I'd buy it, but asked the saleslady if she would know if their brand of shampoo contained gluten. She was quite perplexed, and said she wasn't sure, so she advised me not to buy it, but to call her at her direct line (she gave me her number) next week as she would send out an email to the Corporate Headquarters for me to make sure if it was gluten free or not. "Wow," said the H, "that is like, REALLY nice of her. Salespeople are very nice here." (I didn't really say anything, but I had a look of extreme smugness on my face).

Anyway, as I pointed out to the H, France is never far away - and then I showed him the ultimate thing - that we get Le Journal de France 2 (the 20h edition) on channel 25 here in the NY Metro area. (Luckily they still show it every evening at 19h, and it hasn't changed since I first started French classes at the age of 8). So now he can keep up with the news back home - which tonight included clips of people arguing about working hours (something about some unions and people who are mad about working overtime or something) and the importance of the month of May in terms of vacation days (apparently there are many vacation days in May and the best way to take advantage of them all is to get your RTT's in between all the official Catholic holidays, which means you can get up to like, almost 2 entire weeks of vacation for only like, 5 RTT's). Oh yeah, and something about the Tunisians being all annoyed at Sarko's visit (big surprise).

If anything, it's vaguely comforting to see that nothing really changes much in France.

Update

So we are more or less moved into the apartment now - everything is more or less clean (a few closets still need to be cleaned out, but the bulk of the apartment is now livable).

On Tuesday we ended up going up to Chelsea to see the guy who had subleted my apartment. He was supposed to stop by my place at 11 am, but he called us at like, 10:15 and we were still in the car on the way to the city from Mom's. He was all, "Hey, I'm in the neighborhood, can I stop by now?" and I was like, "Um, no...". He refused to stop by after work, so he suggested we go to his office to get the keys back. I was kind of annoyed about it, but the H said we'd better go because otherwise we would NEVER get the keys back.

So we took the crosstown bus over and I have to say, the guy was definitely getting over his pneumonia and other illnesses. He looked deathly pale and was really, really skinny, and had dark circles under his eyes. I was all, "Dude, what is up with the air conditioner?" which he claimed still worked, but it was so dirty and disgusting that I didn't even test it out. Then I was like, "Where's my check?" and he said he didn't have the money, and would let me know when he could give it to me. I did feel bad for him, but I was like, "Give me a check and I won't cash it now; I'll wait until you say it is okay to cash it." He didn't seem to want to do it, so I said his options were either to give me a check for the full amount, or else write me out some sort of payment plan - i.e. in 2 weeks he'll give me $200, in another 2 weeks, $250, etc. He didn't seem into that either, but finally I said, "Listen, I know it's been rough going for you, but you have to look at it from my point of view, too. I have to pay the bulk of the March rent plus the April one, and I still haven't been able to move in, because there is SO MUCH CLEANING to do." He was a bit pissy about it, but said he'd put a check in the mail (which I still have not received). He was also a bit pissy about the ConEd bill, insisting that when he talked to them, they said his payment was good until the next bill, so he didn't understand why there were new charges from the period of March 14 - April 14. He was all, "I'm not responsible for April 'cause I wasn't there," and then I was like, "Well, neither am I because I haven't been living there, and I didn't even set foot in there to start cleaning until the H arrived in NY, on April 14th." Finally he took the bill, said he would call ConEd and take care of it. Hmmmmph.

Hell Hath No Fury....

Grrrrrrrrrr.

That female time of the month came around this weekend...which happened to coincide with the Pope's visit.

The Pope was in NYC of course, but on Saturday he took a little trip up to Westchester...right near where Mom lives. So we had gone out to do some shopping and ended up being blocked from our own street. We realized this when on our regular route home, the whole street leading to my mom's little street was blocked, and the police officer said we had to go around to the other side of the street in order to get through. So we took like, a 30 minute detour only to be blocked from that side, too! The mean police officer on the other side refused to let us through despite our pleading that we were actually RESIDENTS on that street and he was all, "Too bad, you gonna have to wait til 8 pm." (It was like, 4 pm when he said that). I was really mean and upset because I was having major cramps and a headache and all I wanted was to go home, pop a couple of Advil, smoke a cigarette, and lie down. I mean, I have nothing against the Pope and all that, but still, I really do think residents of blocked off streets should be allowed through because some of us NEED to go home and do not want to spend all our time sitting in a car for four hours. Anyway, we ended up taking another detour which meant that we had to go the opposite direction down a one way street in order to get back to mom's. By that point, I was REALLY upset and ready to bitchslap anyone who got in my way.

In other news, the apartment is coming along, but now I am really mad at the guy who subleted. He finally responded via email last night that he has been up and around for the last 3 days (since he was recovering from pneumonia). I asked him to please stop by the apartment this week to give me back my keys, plus the remainder of the March rent, plus $70 of the $81.60 ConEd bill; also there was a bunch of mail for him and we needed to discuss the condition of my apartment. To which he responded that he was "quite frankly surprised" that I could be so upset because "I was residing in your apartment for the last 3 years and when you said you wanted it back, I gave it back to you without a hassle." Excuse you? It was a freaking sublet, of course you are supposed to give it back without a hassle! Then he said with three years of living in an apartment, I should expect the furniture to have wear and tear and I should expect to clean an apartment, which was why he paid an extra $100 on top of the regular rent, to cover the costs. Um, excuse you again, but my apartment was FULLY FURNISHED and okay, a little bit of dirt is ok, but NOT THREE YEARS OF DIRT! I am paying the April rent, but cannot even live in the freaking apartment because it is so DIRTY! And he should have ASKED ME before he went around taking apart my furniture! And he only wants to pay $40 for his half of the ConEd bill, but excuse me, the billing period is from Mar 14 - Apr 14 and the H didn't even arrive in NYC until the evening of Apr 13th. I went by the apartment once for 30 mins on like, Apr 12 to survey the damage done, so I am so not paying $40 for the 30 mins I was there. Not to mention, the guy sent me an email on April 6th at like, 10 pm to tell me he had vacated the apartment as of April 1st, but "my internet was down all last week and I didn't have anyone's phone number". Um, whose internet service could POSSIBLY be down for an ENTIRE WEEK in the NY Tri-State area???? Like, he couldn't go to a friend's house and use the internet, or go to an internet café????? And now he's all like, I don't have the money for the March rent; I'll pay you when I can. Well, I know the guy is having financial problems (he is also in trouble with the IRS) but I'm sorry, this is not my problem, and it's already almost May.

Argh! Mom says to be civil to him so I can a) get the keys back; and b) so I don't piss him off so much that he won't pay me the $820 + $70 for the rent and ConEd. But still, I am THIS CLOSE to bitchslapping his ass. I mean, he left a paper plate with leftover food on it under my bed! Who does that????? And who breaks your 4 year old air conditioner? I'm sorry, but air conditioners do not just break like that after 7 years, not if you take good care of it like normal people do.

Spring cleaning

Ugh.

So the H arrived on Sunday, and since Tuesday we have been spending all our time shopping for, and cleaning the apartment.

I had warned the H over the phone before his arrival that we should probably hire a cleaning lady (people tell me that it will probably be in the $60-70 range for a studio). The H kept saying, "Oh, it can't possibly be THAT bad; you'll see, we'll clean it ourselves and save that $70 for something else, like a new air conditioner!"

Well, when he went to look at my apartment on Monday, he was like, "Oh, crap." It was unfortunately quite overwhelmingly dirty. But seeing as he doesn't believe in hiring cleaning ladies, he was quite stubborn about us cleaning it ourselves (to my extreme dismay).

We spent several mornings going to places like Target, Bed, Bath & Beyond, and Ikea. In the afternoons, we clean. I have to be honest and say it is mostly the H who cleans, as I have a tendency to take many cigarette breaks (also because of the severe amount of dust in the apartment, I get massive allergy attacks the minute I touch something in there). Anyway, it took about 2 days, but we managed to completely clean every inch of the bathroom - and it looks really good! It is all white and shiny just like it used to be. Last night we got part of the kitchen done.

While it's nice to be making progress in the apartment, the H and I keep saying every few minutes, "Dude, what is this guy's PROBLEM???" It is so obvious that the guy has not cleaned in like, 3 years. On Tuesday we started throwing out a whole bunch of his stuff and when we went through the kitchen sink cabinet, we found all of my cleaning products that I had left behind. They were all clustered together way in the back gathering dust. I was kinda like, "Wow, so he basically just never cleaned ever since he came into the apartment! My cleaning products have not been used since last time I lived here!" (And believe you me, I left a LOT of cleaning products behind).

The most disgusting part has been cleaned - the toilet. In fact, we even bought a new toilet seat because it was just so gross. Yesterday when we cleaned the kitchen, there was like some weird moldy dirt all around the kitchen sink and when we cleaned the stove, there was like all this dried food stuck everywhere, including INSIDE the stove top - like dried pasta, garlic, etc. "Ugh," I had said, while vacuuming the inside of the stove top, "no wonder this guy has been single for 3 years. He has some seriously questionable hygiene. Like, okay, so you don't like to clean - at least hire a cleaning lady to come once a week or something. I mean, who can LIVE in this kind of a mess? You have to wonder how often he showers!" To which the H replied, "Well, considering how dirty the bathtub and shower were, I'd have to say he must have showered regularly, but maybe it wasn't very efficient considering the build up of dirt in there..."

The guy still has not contacted me yet regarding the rent (and last month's ConEd bill, which I just received, for $81 from March 14 - April 14; I'm going to have to ask him to pay like $65 of it, since I wasn't really there until April 14th when H and I went over to check out the damage. Earlier this week though, I did get an email from him saying he was just recovering from pneumonia. I sort of feel sorry for him, because he obviously has been very sick and has financial problems - I received a bunch of mail for him, and among them were tons of credit card and bank bills as well as several doctor's bills and medical lab bills - so he wasn't lying when he said he had been sick with heart problems previously. At the same time, from my point of view, it's kind of like, "Well, it's not really my problem, considering the mess you left me with, plus the money you owe me." So most likely, the guy really did have pneumonia, which I am very sorry about, but it's also like, "Dude, you could have at least contacted me earlier, and where is my money? It's been like, 3 weeks now..."

The other piece of good news is that H managed to put part of my Ikea Billy bookcase together. We also opened our new joint account with HSBC US (we already are with HSBC in France). All that is left now is to install some new Ikea furniture (well, not furniture, but we bought some shelves for the bathroom and kitchen) and wait for H's social security and green card - he is pretty much blocked from doing anything in the US until he gets that social security number.

Anyway, we are off to my apartment again...hopefully it won't be too much of a nightmare - we have to take my mom's car in as we need to bring a bunch of stuff with us and bring back all the cleaning supplies for my mom's cleaning lady tomorrow. The problem is that the Pope is visiting New York right now, so there will most likely be some major nightmare traffic going on. Oh, well. At least progress is being made and that is always good. (But still, who DOES THAT to an apartment that they SUBLETED?!)

Nightmare

It's been awhile and I've been busy, busy, busy!

I've had four interviews so far - 2 with headhunters, and 2 for jobs (1 of which was provided via the headhunter). Like in France (or anywhere else), entry level positions into the more prestigious houses are hard to come by - I mean, theoretically, if you worked at Chanel for example, you would not be planning on leaving anytime soon! I've mostly interviewed with a few higher price point contemporary brands (none of which do runway) but I don't have much US experience as a designer, so at least it would get the ball rolling.

However, I've been busiest with my apartment. I had subleted it out for the time that I was in Paris to this guy. I had forewarned him back in like, February, that I would take back my apartment in May. Unfortunately, the guy emailed me like, this weekend and said he had vacated the apartment as of April 1st. Back when the guy moved in, I made him pay me a $100 security deposit. I know, I know, it's not a lot, but I had subleted my apartment several times previously and had never really had any problems. Plus, this time, as I would be leaving for an incredibly extended period of time, I had cleared all my stuff out of the place, except for the furniture.

Well, suffice it to say, when I went to check on the state of my apartment yesterday, I was quite shocked! The place was absolutely FILTHY. Not just a little dirty, but really, truly, FILTHY. My air conditioner (which I had bought since the apartment didn't have one before, and Manhattan in the summer without air conditioning is akin to suicide) was completely broken - the entire front cover was lying on the floor along with the filter, wires hanging out of it, paper bags stuffed into the vents, and a large gap on the side of the window. The smoke alarm has been taken apart for some odd reason. My bathtub is disgustingly (and possibly permanently) yellowed. The knob to switch between the shower and bath is missing, as is the plug for the bathtub. My shower curtain has disappeared along with my coffee table, and my cheap Ikea bookshelves have been dismantled and are lying in a heap on the floor. There are 4 dirty glasses in the sink, a thick film of dust all over the place, and some creepy yellow liquid in the vegetable crisper in the fridge (which I think might be beer seeing as there are about 12 bottles of beer in the fridge). Plus, I had this desk from Ikea that had a shelf system attached to it, which has also been dismantled. Pots and pans are sitting in heap on a dirty stove (though the pots and pans seem to be somewhat clean) and there is a piece of silver foil with crumbs sitting inside the oven. The only good part was that the freezer had been defrosted and was extraordinarily clean, but still, I was really, really shocked. I mean, who takes apart your furniture??? It's a SUBLET, not a permanent rental!

Anyway, I was planning on bitching out the guy - he still has an extra set of keys for some reason, and I definitely want them back. The problem is, he still has not finished paying the March rent, and owes another $800 or so. I like to think that I am a nice and sympathetic person, and I understand that this guy has been having a hard time recently - I think he is in trouble with the IRS, and he doesn't really have health insurance since he is a freelance graphic artist, and I know he had some major health problems recently, which included a stay in the hospital. He also managed to find an apartment, but had to hand over a 3 month security deposit. I know that life can be tough, and I know what it's like, but still, my apartment looks like it has been trashed!

I told the H the whole story and he was nonchalant about paying an extra month's rent for April, but pointed out that once Ikea furniture has been taken apart, you most likely cannot put it back together again. We might have to hire a cleaning person to come in and clean the place up, and I guess we'll be getting some newer furniture, or at least putting up some shelves. Plus, we'll have to buy a new air conditioner, so these are more expenses that we were not counting on. Everyone says that since the guy still owes me $800+ for last month's rent, I should not bitch him out as this means that he might just not pay me the money he owes, and that I should be courteous. But still, who DOES THAT to a sublet???

Anyway, the H is arriving on Sunday night, so we'll see what we can do. I've emailed the guy asking him to meet me on Monday at the apartment as there are several things we need to discuss, and if he could please bring the check for the remainder of the March rent.

It's called "Star WarS"...

One of the better things about being back in the US is hearing words the way they are meant to be pronounced.

Much as the French hate to admit it, English has managed to creep its way into French vocabulary, but what is kind of endearing (or annoying, depending on my mood) is how the French have Frenchified it all.

For example:
Tum Onks = Tom Hanks.
Reeshar Zsere = Richard Gere
Patreeck Swayz = Patrick Swayze (I gotta admit, hearing "Patreeck Swayz" still makes me crack up)
Brad Peet = Brad Pitt
Nyk = Nike
Levees = Levis
Star War = Star Wars
Ow I Met Yore Mozere = How I Met Your Mother (that TV show that FSIL is a big fan of. Except when she was telling me about it, she kept pronouncing it in French and I was very confused for about 10 minutes)
Owse = House (the TV show) (That one also threw me off, when this summer FSIL's friend was all, "Oh my gosh you have to watch this new TV show called Owse, it's really good!" and I was like, "Oooh, I never heard of it, is it an American show?")
Arnaud et Willy = Different Strokes
Zsorge Cloonay = George Clooney
Goldie Awn = Goldie Hawn
Gweeness Paltrow = Gwyneth Paltrow
Eetan Awk = Ethan Hawke
Reese Weesserspoooon = Reese Witherspoon
Uma Tureman = Uma Thurman
Neecole Keedmahn = Nicole Kidman
"un sweet" = sweats
Calveen Klah = Calvin Klein
Cate Blonshett = Cate Blanchett
Eees Legere = Heath Ledger
Michale/Keerk Dooglass = Michael/Kirk Douglas
U Gront = Hugh Grant
Lahdee Dee = Princess Diana of Wales (or Lady Di, as the French call her)
Eeex Men = The X-Men
Zsorge/Barr-Barah Booosh = George/Barbara Bush
Ilary/Beel Cleentonn = Hillary/Bill Clinton
Meet Rohmnay = Mitt Romney
Beep-Beep (actually spelled "Bip-Bip" in French) = Road Runner
Mee-kay = Mickey Mouse
Kees Reechars = Keith Richards
Meek Jaggere = Mick Jagger
Bub Deelahn = Bob Dylan
Justeen Teembearlake = Justin Timberlake
Orrrr-Aaay = Jorge (not a celebrity or anything, but the name of this Mexican guy who married this French girl I know. I only met him once at a wedding of this other couple, and I was all, "Hey, what's your name?" and he was like, "Zsorge" and I was like, "Cool, where are you from?" and he said, "Mexico" and I went, "Oh! So, is your name really Jorge?" and he said, "Yes, but French people can't pronounce my name." Then these French people standing near us overheard and they asked in alarm, "How do you pronounce your name????" Then they tried saying "Jorge" for 15 minutes before they gave up).

**Edit:
Estair = Hester (from The Scarlet Letter). I just remembered when I was a student in Paris and I watched part of The Scarlet Letter on TV and I was really confused for about 20 minutes. I hadn't read the book since high school and then they kept referring to Demi Moore as Estair. I was all confused, like, "I don't remember any Esther in the book....let alone as the main character, which Demi Moore must surely be..." Then when the movie was over I was like, "Ohhhh! Hester Prynne!!!!"

What is wrong with him?!

Oh, Nicolas Sarkozy. What is WRONG with you? This is not how a head of state should behave!

First, he was drunk at the G8 conference:



He also walked out of a 60 Minutes interview in the US:



He insulted a guy at the Salon de l'Agriculture (the famous "casse-toi, pauvre con" incident)"



He totally swiped a pen while meeting with the President of Romania:



After which Angela Merkel totally called him out on it by presenting him with the pen - during the conversation, they explain that it was the same pen that Sarko had signed the documents with, and you hear the Germans being all, "Oh, do you um...collect...pens?" and Sarko is all, "Yes, I collect them."



And then, at a state dinner with Israel, he was totally checking out the cleavage of Bar Rafaeli, the Israeli model best known as Leonardo DiCaprio's arm candy:

Sarkozy mate le décolleté de Bar Refaeli sélectionné dans Actualités & Politique et Politique

Dude, that's not cool! Okay, maybe the first two incidents are sort of excusable. I mean, what with hanging out with Vladimir Putin, and he's probably a very sneaky guy and totally drank Sarko under the table, so he was really drunk by the time he came out for his press conference. And okay, so maybe he was miffed about being asked about his wife. But you don't insult your people by telling them to "get out, you stupid jerk"! And you don't swipe expensive pens at a press conference/official paper-signing ceremony with the president of another country! What, Sarko can't afford to BUY a nice pen, what with his salary hike and the fact that he doesn't pay any expenses??? And then ok, so maybe the Israeli model is hot and has crazy cleavage, and maybe she is so tall that her boobs are like, right at Sarko's eye level, but still, I mean, does he not KNOW that he's being filmed????

Hmmmph! Good going, France! And all you French people who keep making fun of me because I'm American and Bush is the president - shame on you! His antics are just as embarrassing, if not more so, than that time that Bush practically assaulted Angela Merkel by hugging her.

All I can say is that at least I managed to convince the H to turn in a blank ballot! The same cannot be said for my other in-laws, all of whom voted for Sarko only because they couldn't stand Ségolène Royal. Except for the SIL. She voted for Sarko because even though she can't stand him, she thought he was going to win and she said she "wanted to be on the winning team."

Don't even get me started on that one.

I sincerely hope that should Barack become the next president, he will not do anything to embarrass us in manner of Sarko (swiping pens, checking out boobs, being drunk, insulting passerby, marrying supermodel/wannabe singer who talks rather than sings), or Elliot Spitzer (involvement in prostitution ring).

Conspiracy Theories

Hahahaha. I know it is very mean and uncool of me, but I could help but think this was really funny. And this too.

Poor Marion Cotillard. Now that she has her Oscar and she's all psyched to become an international A-list celebrity (which are admittedly rather rare in France) she's all regretting everything she said about the conspiracies, and has fallen back on the old "My words were taken out of context!" excuse.

Then again, I don't know if it's just the kind of people I know in France or what, but it seems to me that a majority of French people are really into conspiracy theories. The H and the in-laws are definitely no exception.

So this was a recurring conversation for awhile:
(Entire family of in-laws, plus the H and I at dinner)
FIL: (ranting after several glasses of wine): Blah blah blah...and everyone KNOWS that 9/11 is a conspiracy too!!!!
Me: Um, no it's not. It was totally real. I was in NYC when it happened.
FIL: Well, yes, it HAPPENED, but everyone KNOWS that it was done by the US government.
Me: Um, no it wasn't. It was done by Al-Qaeda.
FIL: (snorts) Why would you think that? Everyone KNOWS that the US government planted bombs in the bottom of the WTC!
Me: Uh, because Al-Qaeda was like, "HEY EVERYONE, WE DID IT! WE TAKE FULL RESPONSIBILITY! WOOOOOHOOOOOO!"?
FIL: Don't be silly! That was faked too! You can tell because the building collapsed from the bottom.
Me: No it didn't. It collapsed right under where the 767's crashed. All that fuel and everything created a lot of structural damage what with the intense heat.
FIL: Haha! Or so the US government says...! I'm telling you, because I KNOW, that it was all planned out by the US. Like Pearl Harbor. So you would have an excuse to attack Iraq.
Me: Oh, man. Well, first of all, Pearl Harbor wasn't planned. Because what happened was that the US intercepted all the messages, yes, but they were short on codebreakers, so most likely, the message about Pearl Harbor was sitting in the inbox of some tired and overworked codebreaker by the time Pearl Harbor happened. In addition, the waters of Pearl Harbor are quite shallow, which is not very conducive to a bombing, as everyone thought that the bombs would go "Plop! Fizz! Splat!" in the mud. Moreover, the US had not wanted to get involved in WWII as we were into our isolationist policy and coming out of the Great Depression. In fact, the US was about to sign a non-aggression pact with Hitler, but then we got roped into the war when A) the French were brutally defeated by Blitzkrieg in 1940 and despite their deep hatred for the Brits were suddenly all, "Merde, we 'ave lost; you come 'elp us now, non?" and then B) the British, what with all their territories and being the largest empire ever, were totally cracking under the pressure because they had to help France and set up the French Resistance, and so they were all, "Blimey, could you help us, mate?" to the US, to which Congress replied several times, "Um, no, but we'll give you money," and then...
FIL: (interrupting my fascinating lecture about American involvement in World War II) Whatever! That's all bull! We all KNOW that the US government is behind every single conspiracy! Like, that flight were SUPPOSEDLY the passengers kept the terrorists from crashing into like, the White House.
Me: That would be United 93. Also known as UA93, via the IATA designator...
FIL: (interrupting my fascinating lecture about IATA designator codes) Whatever! It was totally a FAKE FLIGHT. Like, the government MADE UP those transcripts!
H: Or, I bet you the flight was SHOT DOWN by the US MILITARY.
Me: Oh, please. It was a real flight. With real people. Why would the government spend all that time and money to make up a flight with transcripts?
FIL: Because. Duh! That's what the US government does. EVERYONE KNOWS IT.
Me: I don't know. I mean, how do YOU know? It sounds REALLY far-fetched to me. I mean, they would have had to be planning all this stuff for like, 10 years. And I know there were real people on United 93 because the brother of this girl I used to vaguely know when I was a kid was on that flight.
FIL: Oh, you Americans are so NAIVE! You believe everything people tell you!
Me: (thinking in head, "Well, I don't know, I am not believing anything YOU are saying...")
FIL: You people have no idea how the world REALLY works. I mean, everyone knows that accidents don't just "happen".
Me: Um, yes they do. It's just that in the case of really big disasters, they are always freak accidents and there are always weird anomalies that no one can figure out. That's why they are freak accidents. Like you know, back in the 1980's when Pan Am 103 blew up over Lockerbie, Scotland, or the Tenerife incident, which was like, the biggest accident in commercial aviation, when those two 747's crashed into each other on the run...
FIL: (interrupting my fascinating lecture on commercial airline disasters) Whatever. My point is that the world is full of conspiracy theories.
H: Yeah, like those two French guys who just so happened to be filming a documentary about firefighters and they just so happened to be at a firehouse when 9/11 happened? You know they knew about it.
Me: I don't know. Why would 2 random French guys know anything in advance.
H: Duh. Because they are like, rich, so they know everything.
Me: What?! That doesn't even make any sense.
FIL: Yeah, and like, people think that the US actually LANDED ON THE MOON.
Me: But they did!
H: No, they didn't. EVERYONE KNOWS that it was all filmed in a TV studio because there was the Cold War going on so you had to beat Russia to the punch. Why else has no one ever set foot on the moon since the 1970's?
Me: Maybe because you can't actually LIVE on the moon. There's like, no oxygen. So it must be very expensive to suit up and head over to the moon. And you can't do anything on it except you know, leap around in an unwieldly space suit and be all attached to oxygen.
H: (snorting) Whatever. That is so stupid. The US government totally faked the moon thing.
FIL: Yeah, and JFK was totally assassinated by the US government.
H: Or the mob.
FIL: Yeah. You Americans just don't understand ANYTHING. You are all so innocent and naive and easily gobble up all those excuses your government tells you. I KNOW.
Me: Um. Okay. You people are weird and are freaking me out. I can't believe you all believe all this crap. I have to go smoke now.

Damn you, La Poste!

Argh! Where are my boxes????

About a week before I left, I went down to the post office near our apartment in the 16th arrondissement and mailed myself a bunch of boxes of crap. Most of them (well actually, I only mailed out 2 boxes - one of wovens and one of knits) contained fabric scraps and balls of yarn that I am using for my portfolio. They told me it would all arrive in about 2 - 3 weeks, as I was sending them Economy rather than Priority.

Well, it's been at least 3 weeks now and I STILL have not received my boxes!!!!

And now I find that desperately I need those stupid fabric scraps as I have redone my portfolio (well, I redid the collage and edited down my croquis, but as I used spray mount to put my croquis in, I have managed to un-stick and re-stick everything in nice manner. But I need those fabric scraps so I can recut out little squares to go with my croquis!

Hmmmph. Why is it that sometimes things arrive quite quickly via La Poste and sometimes they take forever? Like a month before I left, I mailed a box of books to my mom's house and it got there in a couple of days!

One could say that I could just go out to Mood Fabrics and buy a bunch of 1/4 yard scraps of fabric to use for my portfolio, but it's just the principle of it. I am not going to be using those Frenchie fabric scraps for anything else other than portfolio use.

Argh. Now I am off to Career Services with a half-done portfolio. I am sure I will receive some sort of mini-lecture about how one's portfolio needs to be presentable and COMPLETE.

Oh yeah. And while I am in the whole "damn you!" mode, damn you, Apple France! Where are my 97,50 euros????? They STILL have not reimbursed me! And I have left the country! Well, at least I left my computer's serial # and all other pertinent info for the H, who has already called once and been told that I should have been reimbursed by now (duh) but that he needs to call back another day to speak to someone else. Hmmmmmph!

Busted!

Good God! How embarrassing, the whole Elliot Spitzer debacle!

Even more embarrassing is that Elliot Spitzer went to my high school (though he graduated like, before I was born or something). Hmmmph. When he was elected governor, he was practically on the cover of the Alumni Magazine - he got a massive article dedicated to how his greatness and it most likely discussed how he got to where he was because of the fine education he received during his formative years at our high school. (I didn't actually read the entire article). I suppose he will not be featured in our illustrious Alumni Magazine any time soon, considering that his career is totally over.

I passed in front of his apartment building on Fifth Avenue this afternoon. Not because I wanted to, but because I was stuck in crazy Fifth Ave traffic jam due to massive camera crews camped out in front of his building. I mean, even the CW11 had their camera crew too! (I have always thought of the CW as a not very newsworthy-serious type channel due to programs such as "America's Next Top Model", that Pussycat Dolls reality show, and "Gossip Girl"). Though it was all rather non-exciting because Spitzer was not even outside.

Jeez. As my friend Annie pointed out this afternoon, either you crusade against the hookers, but don't do it with them on the side, or you do it with the hookers on the side, but don't crusade against them.

This whole thing merely serves to reinforce my unfounded belief that all politicians are creepy, megalomaniac liars.



(Photo from NY Times). I think it's absolutely priceless, the way his wife is glaring at him. He's all giving his speech like, "Oooh, I resign, and now I will work towards healing my family blah blah blah" and she's all, "Dude, I am so going to kick yo' ass!"

Also, here is the link to the SNL skit where they make fun of the Clinton-Obama debates. I'd been wanting to post it since last week, but couldn't figure out how to link to it, so yay me! I finally figured it out! Anyway, it's really hysterical:

Lack of motivation

Arrrggghh!

What is it about working at home that makes me want to procrastinate like crazy?

I am faced with massive indecision re: my portfolio. I cannot decide which direction to go. I have great ideas, but all requiring massive execution and just do not feel like doing it. Would rather spend all day doing useless things like Facebooking.

Though, re: portfolio, I am also completely unsure of exactly how to go about it all. Luckily I have a meeting with my former professor tomorrow afternoon, but fear she might not like my ideas (mostly in that a) do not want to do full figures with complete outfits; i.e. jacket, shirt, skirt, shoes); and b) do not want to do flat sketches (loathe flats!) I much prefer just drawing each individual piece of clothing on my girls and then omitting the rest. Then again, this is probably due from when I used to work, hardly anyone ever spent their time doing complete head to toe outfits.

I wonder if this is not all due to the fact that whilst in my depressive funk, I merely got comfortable. Not happy, mind you, nor even satisfied - believe you me, was quite unsatisfied with direction of life - but eventually was just comfortable where I was. Like, comfortable with my dissatisfaction. I wonder if this is what typically happens to French people - knowing that so many factors and decisions in your life are so not in your own control, but rather in control of nasty fonctionnaires, cruel HR people, and whether or not your contacts are feeling inclined to "pistonne" you. I mean, I look at the H, who is obviously not happy with his career but is also comfortable because it is all familiar and also because there is not much that is in his control. Luckily I have managed to convince him that change and adventure are most excellent things in life that one should welcome with open arms. Except that I may have been overzealous because he is wondering why, since I have been home for exactly one week, I have still not found a job yet.

Anyway, it's not like I haven't done anything. I have resketched some of my stuff (as had ripped all pages out of last portfolio in fit of rage after having been rejected by all-important luxury conglomerate group, which was quite unfortunate as portfolio was in pretty notebook) and I am waiting for a size 4 dress form to free up from a particular website so's that I can take pictures and start draping - perhaps will get the creative juices flowing more if I can drape. Have also halfway completed a cute skirt which shall go into portfolio as well. However, the massive indecision attacks I am having have further prevented me from continuing on and would rather not start flat sketches. (I really despise flats, as flats in general and as a whole are boxy, rigid, full of rules, and demand precision and mad skillz with an array of rulers).

Hmmm. Well, hopefully will have a clearer picture after tomorrow. Just wish the H would lay off a little bit, though he is right, I am lacking motivation. It is just really hard to suddenly re-adapt to the U.S., in manner of "I can achieve ANYTHING I want!" when am so used now to being completely bogged down by opposite school of thought (i.e. "You will get nowhere in life and career because you are not a famous daughter of VIP").

Bugger!

Settling in

It's kinda cool to be back in NYC. Well, more precisely, I am in Westchester, chez Mom, while I wait for the H, who will join me in mid-April, and while I wait for the guy who is currently subletting my apartment in the East Village to clear out in May.

I haven't really gone out much; I'm still kind of tired and adjusting my body clock, so I spend a lot of time thinking about how I want to rework my portfolio. I also need to go and get a dress form soon, so I can really start working on stuff (my dress form back in Paris has indeed been requisitioned by SIL).

I did go to Whole Foods with mom on Sunday. It was really nice to see all the stores open on Sunday. It was also really nice and exciting to be able to actually buy stuff at the supermarket and be able to eat it. I love Whole Foods.

I've been taking it easy, just trying to relax this week before I settle down and start working on my portfolio and job hunting and all that. In mid-March, I have a meeting with one of my former professors at Parsons, so I'd like to have my portfolio at least started so I can get feedback. I've also pretty much finished my resumé (in English, and it is nice to not have to put my age, nationality, and marital status, and photo on it), so I can drop that off with Career Services so they can take a look and make any necessary changes. I'm ever so slowly coming out of my depressive funk now and I'm feeling much better these days (stomach and skin-wise - I haven't had any major stomach pains since I've been back and my skin is even starting to clear up).

In other news, Hillary Clinton won Ohio and the Texas primary (but we are still waiting on the Texas caucus results, which for now has Obama with a very thin lead). Argh! Is it me, or does it just seem like the Democratic primaries have become a never ending soap opera?

L'espace affaires

Yesterday I headed back home for NYC permanently.

I was very excited, as I had booked a business class one way award ticket on KLM. I have a special love affair with KLM, mostly because in my experience, they have always been very efficient (and of course, there was that time when the flight attendant offered me bread then doubled back 5 minutes later to apologize profusely about it when he realized that I had a gluten-free meal).

My original itinerary was a 14h25 departure on an AF/KLM codeshare flight (on AF metal) to Amsterdam and then an 18h10 departure from AMS to JFK. I have always been curious about KLM biz class - this is because I have always found the coach service on KLM to be quite good, compared with AF and UA (whereas, which is quite normal, AF and UA biz are really quite excellent). So, for me, it was an opportunity to: a) connect in Schiphol airport, which I quite like because ground staff are very helpful and I think it's very cute that they have a tulip shop, a casino, and a mini Rijksmuseum in the terminal; b) check out the KLM lounge in AMS to see if it is really as good as people say it is; and c) see if KLM biz is worth its price (because I flew Alitalia biz not too long ago and all I can say is that it is SOOOO not worth the price of the ticket).

So I was obviously VERY upset when the H and I arrived at terminal 2F only to be greeted with the departures board that said "KLM 1234 delayed until 17h55". Argh! Then H and I went past the L'Espace Affaires check-in desk and had to double back and walk another 10 minutes back, where there was a short line, but a long wait, as there was for some reason only 1 gate agent checking people in. Finally, it was my turn, and I had the misfortune to get someone who was obviously very new to her job, given how she panicked when she saw that I was headed to AMS (she kept turning to the gate agent next to her and asking her what she was supposed to do). Turned out that AF decided to rebook me onto a direct flight, CDG-JFK, because there were terrible storms in Amsterdam, so many flights headed in and out of Schiphol were being cancelled or delayed, and AF did not want to take the chance of my JFK flight getting cancelled and me being put into a hotel at their expense. So the GA left us standing there for a good 20 minutes as a huge pile of people started gathering in line behind us, and came back with my ticket. "But," I protested, "this means that my gluten free meal will not be on board!" The GA then started calling all over the place to see if she could secure me a gluten free meal for the 15h55 flight to JFK (mind you, it was 12h30 at this point) and finally said that it was not possible, as she was unable to get in touch with Servair (the caterers). She then checked me in and then directed me to terminal 2E, with her apologies (and as a side note, she was shocked that the CDG-JFK flight was 8 hours, 25 minutes - she was all, "For real? I thought the flight was 6 hours!" and I had to point out that when flying west, you go against the air currents, so it takes longer). At this point, I was convinced that this was an AF conspiracy to keep me from reuniting with my true love, KLM, and made a nasty speech to the GA, the gist of which was "I know this is totally not YOUR fault and you have nothing to do with it, but frankly, I loathe AF and I love KLM."

So, alas, while I was miffed about the whole thing, it wasn't such a bad journey home. The GA had assigned me one of the best seats on the plane (an A-340), in 2B, which meant I had no one in front of me. Also I found that the plane had been reconfigured with the new L'Espace Affaires seats, which were more or less lie flat (that is, they are lie flat, but at a weird angle, so one has a tendency to slide down your seat until your feet block you when they run up against the seat or the wall in front of you). Also, I was pleasantly surprised by the helpfulness of the AF staff when I boarded and explained the meal problem - they told me not to hesitate to ask any questions, and then even took me to the galley and showed me all the dishes so I could have first pick of what I could eat (I went with the fish, steamed veggies, and rice, which barely had a hint of a vinagrette sauce; although the beef and pommes de terres dauphin had no sauce at all, I thought the potatoes were a little dodgy, as potatoes dauphin have melted cheese and sometimes have some sort of cream sauce). As usual, I didn't really sleep on the plane, but dozed for an hour. The flight was completely booked - literally, every seat on the plane was taken, but I later found out this was because an earlier AMS-JFK flight had been canceled and they had rerouted a bunch of those people to Paris and put them on our flight - which had obviously resulted in a bunch of op-ups for some of those passengers - and they were pretty evident because they kept taking pictures of themselves stretched out on the lie-flat seats and eating their meals - so the camera flashes were a little irritating. (Also, I think some guy who was supposed to be in biz got downgraded to coach, and he was understandably very upset about it, especially when the flight crew were all "Um, we can't do anything about it. Maybe you should write a complaint letter to AF management?")

Arriving at JFK, I was even more surprised when my priority-tagged luggage actually came out before everyone else's - this is actually the first time this has ever happened to me when flying AF!

All in all, it was a good flight back home, and left me with a good memory of AF (to replace all those crappy ones). I'd also definitely recommend shelling out the $$$ for AF business if you can - definitely much better than Alitalia biz, and so long as there are no irregular ops. The food is not as good as it used to be, but the new seats make up for it all.

Now that I'm back in the US for good, the process of job hunting and a new life begins...

The Mole

"What's that?!" asked the H with alarm, pointing to a small brown spot on the back of my left hand. "That is called a beauty mark. Or a mole. Whatever," I'd said unconcerned. "Whoa, it's totally sketch. It's like, a weird shape and everything," he said. "You should get it examined. Maybe when you get back to New York this weekend you can make an appointment." "But it will cost a zillion dollars because I don't have health insurance in the US right now," I'd protested. "Ah," said the H. "Perhaps you should make an appointment this week before you leave with a dermatologist." "But I don't know any dermatologist!" I'd responded.

Turns out I did know one. I'd saved the info from back when I was a student in Paris and I had gone to see a dermatologist. So I'd called her up and made an appointment for Tuesday at 9.

The thing is, I've always found French doctors' offices to be no-frills compared to the New York doctors. The NY doctors all have very fancy offices and everything is computerized. There is always a nurse who handles all the basics before turning you over to the doctor. But here in France, everything is still done old-school - charts are written by hand, and a lot of doctors still use those old school wood file cabinets to keep their charts. Also, oftentimes there is no nurse.

The French dermatologist was no exception. She asked me my maiden name and proceeded to thumb through some wooden file cabinet that must have been built in the 40's, and pulled out a teeny index card with what was apparently all my information. She then proceeded to do a complete examination and concluded it would be best to remove the sketchy mole. Except she wanted to send me to some plastic surgeon to get it done. "But can't you do it yourself?" I'd asked. As a matter of fact, I had had the procedure done a few times before when I was in NY. It was a very quick in-office procedure - usually the dermatologist would remove the offending mole right then and there in a matter of minutes. It was all very efficient. But no, not in France!

"Hmmm, well, I guess I could do it myself. Because you see, the surgeon charges 400 euros, 60 euros of which are reimbursed by the sécu. So I guess I could do it myself, seeing as the surgeon won't be able to fit you in this week, since you are leaving on Saturday. Okay, well, why don't you come back on Thursday?" babbled the dermatologist. "Why do I have to come back on Thursday? Why can't you do it now? It takes like, 2 minutes," I said. This prompted the dermatologist to take out all her supplies and show me how she would be doing the procedure. "See," she said, showing me a scalpel, "I use this to remove the mole. Then I put it in this little jar. And then I send it to the laboratory to have a biopsy done." "What?" I asked, thoroughly confused. "Now, that will be 65 euros for the visit, and I will squeeze you in at 5:30 pm on Thursday," she said.

So this afternoon I headed back and she fussed around, setting up her equipment. She proceeded to cover me with a napkin/sheet thingy and then set up her tools on my stomach. "So, I will give you some anesthesia, and then I will remove the mole," she said, smiling. "Hmmmm," she said to herself, "now, what is the best way to go about this? I could cut it this way, or else I could cut it this way..." This went on for an agonizing 10 minutes, with me biting my lip to keep from hollering "JUST CUT THE BLOODY THING OUT NOW! I HAVE A DINNER PARTY TONIGHT AND I HAVE TO GO TO THE SUPERMARKET!" She FINALLY got down to work and then decided to give me stitches, and then informed me how to take out my stitches myself (?!). "Ah, yes," she said, flustering about, "and I will give you a prescription for an antibiotic cream. To put over the scar. You can use it with the stitches in." "Um, actually, I think I have everything I need because I had a skin biopsy done in NY not that long ago and I had to have stitches too," I said. "Hmmm," the dermatologist frowned. "Well, to be safe, I think you should buy the cream here. I mean, I really don't think they will have this cream in the US," she clucked.

It took another 10 minutes for her to clean up and fill out the paperwork, and then she had me write a check not only for the visit, but for the laboratory as well. She told me to put the lab check into the envelope, which I did. She then sealed the envelope containing the check plus my mole in a jar and told me "so, you should send this off via the post office. Get a "lettre recommandé". So you have proof in case they lose it. You know the French post office. Not very efficient. You should go tomorrow, but you can go tonight, if you are not too traumatized. Goodbye." I stood there for a second holding the envelope, as it was the first time in my life a doctor had told ME to mail off my own samples to the lab.

I then headed over to Inno to get groceries for the dinner tonight. H and I decided it would be best to serve mussels, so I went to the poissonier and asked for 3 packets of mussels. The girl sighed, grabbed three packets, then asked me, "Oh, could you please prepare the bags for me?" "Say what?" I asked, surprised. "You know," she said, looking at me like I was stupid. "Grab one of the plastic bags there for me." (I should point out that this is not common practice; usually the poissonier will prepare your packages for you, and it was the first time someone asked me to prepare my own package at the supermarket. It would be like if you ordered some beef from Whole Foods and they asked you to rip off the butcher paper and wrap it up yourself). "Um....okay...." I said, baffled, and ripped off a plastic bag and handed it to her, after making a big spectacle of putting down my shopping basket. "No!" she screeched, rolling her eyes. "You have to open the bag for me!" It was all very surreal, and I wanted to shout at her, "Hey, lady! You're the freaking poissonière! YOU do it!" But alas, some guy who was apparently also a poissonier came up and printed out the stickers and stuck the onto the bags for me, while he and the girl proceeded to have an argument over how best to package up mussels.

All in all, a very strange day. Anyway, must go and prepare mussels now.