Thursday, May 31, 2007

More Myths and Stereotypes

Some more myths and stereotypes:

- It is perfectly fine to confuse ethnic groups because they will not get insulted. Thus, the following are completely interchangeable:
- Chinese, Japanese, Korean, Indonesian, Malaysian, Thai, Vietnamese, Cambodian
- Russian, Ukrainian, Polish, Belarussian, Estonian, Latvian, Lithuanian, Bulgarian, Czech, Romanian, Uzbek, Azeri, Tajik, Georgian, Hungarian, Slovakian, Slovenian, Serbian, Croatian
- Swedish, Finnish, Danish, Norwegian, Dutch, German, Austrian, Icelandic
- Brazilian, Argentinian, Mexican, Colombian, Peruvian, Venezuelan, Dominican
- Irish, Scottish, English, Canadian, American, Australian, New Zealand
- Moroccan, Tunisian, Algerian
- Indian, Pakistani, Lebanese, Iraqi, Iranian, Saudi, Turk
Everyone knows that they are all the same, and they know it too, which is why they won't get insulted. HOWEVER: if you confuse a French person with another nationality, then it is a very, very serious insult.
- America is the only country in the world that Americanizes names of foreigners. As everyone knows, Christopher Columbus's real name is actually "Christophe Colombe".
- Many Americans die every year from overdosing on vitamins.
- If a massage parlor employs Asian, African, or Eastern European women, then it is always a front for a bordello. Also, an "American Bar" is synonymous with strip club....everywhere in the world.
- All people from former French colonies in Africa do not despise the French, but deeply admire and love them. In fact, they long for the days when they were under French colonial rule, and regret being independent countries now.
- Dassault is the #1, most important manufacturer in the entire world of military aircraft. In fact, every single world power exclusively purchases Dassault equipment.
- Americans are all very stupid, loud, talkative, and annoying, yet the American government is behind every single conspiracy theory and/or conflict in the entire world.
- It is perfectly okay to criticize all other nationalities and countries, but it is completely unacceptable to criticize France.
- Everyone in the entire world wants to immigrate to France. In fact, France has the highest number of illegal immigrants in the entire world. This is because the world is full of admiration and longing for all things French.
- France is the only country in the world that makes decent wine and cheese. Everyone knows that Italian wine and cheese are totally subpar.
- Vegetarian = pointless and stupid; a fad diet invented by the Americans.
- France has made the most important contributions to society and culture and history as we know it today. They have totally contributed much more than the Belgians.
- The new French president Nicolas Sarkozy is reminiscent, in every possible way, of John F. Kennedy.
- There is no such thing as "lactose-intolerant".
- Every single food item in the U.S. is genetically modified and our favorite pastime is to inject hormones into everything.
- Everything in France is the same as everywhere else in the world. So things like peanut butter, Marmite, and naan bread don't really exist because no one really eats it in France.
- All British people are very pasty and pale, sunburn very easily, and are always starting bar fights when they vacation in other countries.
- Charles de Gaulle was a key figure during WWII because he totally came up with the idea of D-Day and was very very active and busy when he was "in exile" in London.
- Celine Dion may be from Quebec (and thus, technically a Canadian), but since she is one of the best-selling artists of all time and speaks Quebécois, this makes her French.
- George W. Bush is a stupid, inadequate president, yet he was smart enough to rig the U.S. elections twice and create a whole conspiracy theory where he ordered the attack of the World Trade Center so he could invade Iraq and steal their oil because everyone knows that the Bush family controls all the oil all around the world.
- French musicals (such as Les Misérables or Notre Dame de Paris) are huge hits and are performed all around the world....in French.

Wednesday, May 30, 2007

Myths and stereotypes

Here are some common myths and stereotypes widely believed by my Frenchies:

- Puerto Rico is the 51st state of the U.S.
- Asian people are always born in Asia, are very good at math, and Chinese/Japanese/Korean is always their first language. It is technically not possible to be Asian-American, or Asian-Scandinavian, or what not.
- Jewish people have dark skin and dark eyes, are very very rich, have lots of relatives in Israel, and eat only Kosher food and no pork. Sometimes Jewish people are pale, but those are the ones who wear those funny black hats.
- The CIA put bombs on the ground floor of the World Trade Center - that's the REAL reason why the towers collapsed, and those planes didn't have anything to do with it.
- France is actually a very powerful and dominant country, and a force to be reckoned with on the global scene.
- American children don't learn much at school.
- All African people are illegal immigrants.
- Americans tend to be very obese.
- Eastern European women are usually prostitutes. Or mail-order brides.
- France saved themselves from WWII - everyone knows that the Americans and Brits didn't actually do anything during the war.
- Americans are vitamin and drug crazy because we don't need prescriptions - we self prescribe our medicine, and we can buy vitamins everywhere. This is because:
- There is no such thing as health insurance in America.
- All Scandinavian people are really, really good at all foreign languages.
- Everyone knows that the "American dream" and those "success stories" about Americans are not true. This is because nepotism is actually worse in the U.S. than in France, and all those success stories are fake, because it is not possible to be from the ghetto and then become rich.
- A woman must always cook and clean.
- French is the most important, and most widely spoken language in the world. This is why:
- More people watch the French César Awards than the Oscars around the world (César = French equivalent of Oscar); and:
- Lots of French TV shows are very, very popular and in syndication all around the world; and also:
- Everyone in the world knows who Johnny Halliday is.
- Eating couscous is solid proof that you are not racist against Arab people.
- Manual cars do not exist in America, so there is no such thing as an American who can drive a stick shift.
- America forced the French to consume Coca-Cola, McDonald's, and chewing gum.
- Belgian people are stupid.
- The French are much more medically advanced than countries like the U.S. Everyone knows that medical school is much harder in France than it is in America.
- An allergy is a very rare medical condition.
- America is a very religious country, because the president always says "God Bless America", but:
- France is an entirely non-religious country. The fact that Sunday is "a day of rest" and that Catholic holidays are imposed on everyone doesn't actually mean anything.
- Females from English-speaking countries are all Angry Anglo-Saxon Feminists.

Hell yeah

My camera is finally fixed and I'm back in Paris where the card reader happens to be as well, so I've uploaded a few pics.


This is my cat, Destiny, who lives in NY with my mom. I can't remember if I mentioned it in previous posts, but while I was in NY, she got attacked by another cat and had an abscess on her hind paw plus a high fever. I had to take her into the pet hospital, where she had to stay overnight. She ended up with one of those collars on her head to keep her from licking her paw or her pain patch. She was not very happy about it.





These are the shoes I bought at Woodbury Common, for my wedding. I still cannot believe that this was the absolute last pair left and not only were they in my size, but they were also 40% off.



And finally, a ring my mom gave me that I will probably use as my engagement ring. It's a ring that has been in the family for generations, but the problem is that it is too big for my finger, so I'll have to get it resized. It's also really big and very bling-y so I can only wear it for special occasions.

Tuesday, May 29, 2007

Hmmmmmph

Ugh.

After an 8 hour business class flight from Utopia (aka NYC) I am back in Alternate Reality Land (aka France).

In Utopia, it was 90F and sunny and here in Alternate Reality Land it is freezing cold and rainy. Grrrrrrr.

Wednesday, May 23, 2007

Shopping...

Now, anyone who knows me knows that I love to shop!

This weekend I went up to Woodbury Common with my mom. I normally am not a huge fan of outlet shopping, let alone outlet shopping at Woodbury Common. (Well, okay, I like how Woodbury Common is like this little village of stores). The nice thing about Woodbury Common is that they have stores of such prestigious names as Chanel, Space (a.k.a. Prada and Miu Miu), Dior, Gucci, Jimmy Choo, Ferragamo, etc, in addition to those outlet staples such as Bass, Van Heusen, Nine West, etc. The bad thing about Woodbury Common is that the styles they sell are like, a zillion seasons ago, and are kind of expensive considering that they styles are so old (like, a 5 season old YSL dress for $2000? Are you kidding me?) Also, it is inevitable that when you find something that a) you like a lot; and b) is not really recognizable from that S/S 2001 collection; and c) happens to marked down from $2000 to $200, it is never in your size!

Well, this weekend when I went to Woodbury Common, it was like the gods were with me. I found the perfect shoes for my wedding, and a nice white dress that I can wear for the garden party/games part of the wedding (we're not having a church wedding, and out appointment at the mairie is at 10 a.m. on Saturday, so we have an entire day to fill before the dinner part, so we are going to chill at the in-laws' large house/garden and play games like ping-pong, pétanques, and badminton. My mom suggested that I might not want to play badminton in my (white silk chiffon) wedding dress and insisted I get something a bit more casual in white cotton for the badminton part).

So here's what went down: I got a pair of beautiful Giorgio Armani shoes that are in a white floral fabric - really beautiful and comfortable - and it just so happened that they had one last pair left - IN MY SIZE!!! AND - it was marked down 50%, so instead of costing $406, they cost $230! (with the tax and everything). I also found a really cute Prada dress that is in white cotton, with some really interesting gathering and stitching on the waistline that was marked down from $570 to $260! I went all around the Prada (sorry, "Space") store and saw all these really cute dresses but none of them were in my size! When I saw this one, I saw they had a size 44 and a size 38. Now, usually I'm a size 36 on top and 38 on the bottom, so I wasn't sure the 38 would fit. The saleslady said they only had these two sizes left, so I tried on the 38 and it FIT PERFECTLY!

That said, I did see some really gorgeous things that I would have liked as well - a Giorgio Armani silk chiffon dress for the garden party that had an asymmetrical hemline, for example, but it was $2200! Then I saw a really beautiful pair of white satin Jimmy Choos for $400, which I almost got, but then I realized that the only time one wears white satin shoes is for a wedding, and so I would never be able to wear those Jimmy Choos again afterwards - I mean, if I'm going to spend that much money for Jimmy Choos, I would like to be able to wear them again and again and again....so the nice thing about the Armani shoes and the Prada dress is that I can wear them everyday.

Anyway, I promise that I will post pictures of the shoes and the dress when I get back to Paris next week - I've got my camera here in NY, but I forgot the cable that connects it to my computer, so I can't upload any pictures right now.

Thursday, May 17, 2007

Divine Sign?

Aaaaack!

Around noon, I received a phone call from a fashion headhunting agency, asking me if I happened to be looking for a job.

"Um....well...technically, yes, I am.....but not in New York....for now...."

The cheery woman over the phone suddenly sounded disappointed.

"Oh...really? Because we have lots of job opportunities available for someone with your type of resumé...."

(Me about to bang my head against the wall) "Well, the thing is, I'm not living in New York right now, though I am in fact in search of a job."

Cheery recruiter: "Oh, I see, you're living in Paris?"
Me (stiffly): "Yes".
Recruiter: "Oh, wow! You are so lucky!"
Me: "No, not really."
Recuiter (with surprise): "Really?"
Me: "Yeah"
Recruiter: "So, do you think you'll be living in New York anytime soon?"
Me: "Um....probably not til the end of the year? Maybe early next year?"
Recruiter: "Oh, I see, okay, so you're not looking for anything now."
Me (frantic): "Oh, but I am! Sort of..."
Recruiter: "Okay, well, here's my e-mail address, so you just send me an e-mail when you're ready."
Me (even more frantic): "Wait! Do you have like, freelance work?"
Recruiter: "Of course! We have all types of jobs for someone with your qualifications! Part-time, full-time, freelance..."
Me: (in desperation): "Do you have maybe something freelance that I could work on from Paris?"
Recruiter: "Erm, no. Sorry. That's just too complicated. No, we don't have any sort of long-distance type work. You really have to be living in New York."
Me: (in total defeat): "Oh. I understand. Well, I'll be sure to contact you when my plans are more definite."
Recruiter: "Okay, then. Bye!"

I mean, how weird is that? I don't even know how she got my cell phone number, and she happens to call me while I'm on vacation in New York? Is it just me or is it a sign???

UPDATE: Argh! I just got another phone call, this time from Air France/KLM asking me to do a paid survey...$175 cash, plus free lunch. I got a call from Air France several years ago asking me to do a paid survey too, which I did, and got paid $250 cash and it was so much fun! This time round, I won't be able to do it, because it's on June 4th, and I'll be all the way across the Atlantic in Paris. Damn it! If this isn't another divine sign, I don't know what is!!!!!!

Monday, May 14, 2007

Movies and stuff

It is so great, yet so strange, to be back home.

On Friday night I went to see Spiderman 3, which I highly recommend - it was a really great movie. I tried to convince my friends to see Pirates of the Caribbean 3 and Shrek 3 when they come out (all this month, while I'm in NYC) but no one wants to go, claiming that they can just watch the movies a few months later on HBO. I was highly disappointed, yet it all came rushing back to me why people would rather watch movies on HBO than go to the movies - we paid a hefty $11 for Spiderman 3. (And I didn't even book the tickets online, which usually adds a service charge of something like $1 per ticket). Unfortunately, we arrived in the theater for the 9pm show at 8:45 - and the only seats left were in the 1st and 2nd rows. So we ended up sitting in the 2nd row, all the way to the right, which meant that our heads were permanently in an awkward position looking way up and way to the right. Not a good way to spend $11, especially since I ended up with a major headache afterwards from watching all that crazy action in unbelievably fine, close-up detail.

Also, I watched the latest episode of Heroes on TV - which was great except for the commercials! I forgot all about them since in France they aren't as many commercials as in the US on TV. The worst part is that the commercial breaks always come at the most suspenseful moments - so you're left in a horrible, gut wrenching state of "oh my God! What's gonna happen???????!!!!". The good thing though, about commercial breaks is that you can totally run and get something to eat and go to the bathroom or check your e-mail or something.

Anyway, the time has gone by so incredibly fast - I know I have 2 more weeks here, but the first week felt like only 3 days! I sort of don't want to leave New York yet, but at the same time I can't wait to go back to Paris and the BF. Life is funny like that when you live in 2 places at once....

Monday, May 7, 2007

Home Sweet Home

Yay! After what seemed like a crazy trip, I am finally back home in New York.

I flew out of Paris and connected in Rome for the flight to New York; unfortunately, the flight to Rome was at 7:15 a.m.! I got to the airport at 6:20 a.m. only to find that someone had left a bag unattended in the airport and they blocked off the part where my check-in area was so they could blow up the bag. This meant that I just barely made the flight to Rome, which ended up taking off an hour late anyway, because they had to replace some part in the plane. That whole debacle left me with about 15 minutes to run through Fiumicino airport to make the connection to New York, whereupon I was told at the check-in counter that they had just received BOTH my suitcases for New York. After an 8 hour flight where I had the luck of sitting next to an annoying, drunk Italian guy about my age, I arrived dead tired at Newark only to find that one of my suitcases had made the trip and the other one was still sitting in Rome!

Anyway, this afternoon I got a phone call from the Alitalia people telling me they are delivering my other suitcase this afternoon, so thank goodness for that!

Also, I read this article in the New York Times recently that perfectly sums up what the French feel about change.