Wedding preparations

This week has been totally crazy - I've been getting together all the necessary paperwork for our wedding. We're more or less almost done - just the final medical exam is left, which we will do Monday morning, and my officially translated birth certificate will be ready for pick up Monday afternoon. We're hoping to be able to go to the mairie, or city hall, on Tuesday morning, where we will submit our file and pick a date for the wedding!

Juana La Loca

I have been very interested lately in the story of Juana La Loca, known in English as Joan/Joanna The Mad, or Joanna I of Castile.

Juana was the third child and second daughter of King Ferdinand of Aragon and Queen Isabella of Castile. She was married off at around 15 years of age to Philip The Handsome, the son of Holy Roman Emperor Maximilian I, and a member of the Habsburg dynasty. Apparently it was lust at first sight for these two teenagers - upon their first meeting, that Handsome Phil insisted that they be married right away by a priest, after which the two proceeded to get their groove on in the nearest bedroom. Unfortunately, Philip was quite the ladies' man and after their marriage he continued sleeping with women right and left, which was quite a problem for Juana, who was strangely obsessed with her husband and thus prone to bouts of extreme jealousy - she would totally beat down any ho who got it on with her man, and took on only really ugly ladies-in-waiting in the hopes that her husband wouldn't be tempted. When Queen Isabella died, Juana inherited the kingdom of Castile, as her two elder siblings had died, leaving Juana as the next heiress in line. King Ferdinand had a real problem with his crazy daughter being on the throne, so he plotted with that gorgeous Philip to take over Castile without Juana. Philip died shortly after, and Juana wandered the countryside of Spain with her husband's casket, occasionally ordering the coffin to be opened so she could make sure his body was still there - then she would kiss his decaying body several times. Poor Juana ended up locked up in a castle for the rest of her long life, held captive first by her father, and then by her son, the Emperor Charles V.

A movie was made about the life of Juana - a Spanish movie that was released several years ago under the title "Juana La Loca" in Spain and "Mad Love" in English (not to be confused with that other movie called "Mad Love" that starred Drew Barrymore and which I did not see). It was really quite a good movie, although Philip the Handsome was played by an actor who had an eerie resemblance to Fabio - which kind of made me think that Juana had some questionable taste in men. I sincerely hope that in real life, Philip was much better looking - but one must note that he was a Habsburg and good looks were not known to run in this family. I suspect Philip got his title "The Handsome" because he probably did not have that weird Habsburg Jaw going on.

I haven't been able to find any biographies of Juana La Loca, so if anyone knows of one let me know!

Rehab is trendy

I read today that Jesse Metcalfe checked himself into rehab this week. Just in case you didn't know who this Jesse Metcalfe person is, his publicist kindly pointed out in the press release that he is best know for his portrayal of the gardener in Desperate Housewives. Or something like that. You can read more about it here. Ha! You know he's totally going to rehab in an effort to revamp his career!

Rehab is like, the coolest place to be these days. Everyone's doing it! Lindsay Lohan! Britney Spears! Marc Jacobs!

Who's next??? I bet it'll be Tara Reid. Everyone's more or less forgotten about her. Or maybe it'll be Claire Danes. She hasn't been famous since 1996.

Just because Kate Moss became even more famous than ever after her rehab stint doesn't mean it's gonna happen to everyone else!

Old people and children

Damn it! What is wrong with me? I keep forgetting that on Wednesdays, there is no school...hence when I managed to drag myself up to the Marché´St-Pierre, it was filled with stay-at-home moms dragging their children around, who were tearing up a storm all over the place, running and screeching and touching fabric with their grubby little hands.

I was very excited, though, because I managed to flag down a salesperson in only 10 minutes. The only problem was that some mom came up with her daughter and they hung around while the salesguy was cutting my fabric. Too bad the salesguy thought it necessary to entertain the kid, because in his distraction he didn't really fold my 2 meters of cheap polyester crepe - instead he sort of bunched it up and then proceeded to smush the fabric against the kid's face. I couldn't really see what he was doing exactly, since he turned his back to me while doing this, but I have a sneaking suspicion that he was wiping the kid's nose with my fabric.

On the other spectrum, I love old people. They are full of such interesting stories from way back when and they are always willing to tell you all about them. But what is it about elderly people that makes them think that just because they're old, they can totally cut in front of you whenever they want? Hey, I am all for letting old people get on the bus or subway before me, and sometimes I will help old people cross the street, and I always try to give my seat to the elderly. But that doesn't mean that they can cut in front of me on line! I mean, it would be different if they asked me, something along the lines of "Excuse me miss, but would you mind terribly if I went ahead of you? I'm just so tired!" and then I would totally be all, "Of course not, ma'am. Go right ahead!" But the problem is, when old people cut in front of me, I feel really guilty about making a big scene and yelling "Hey, lady! The line starts back there!" Then you end up being the rude punk that just yelled at an old lady. Hmmmph. Just because the elderly are old and wise and have all sorts of interesting life experiences doesn't mean they can be rude, too.

"All the news that's fit to print...."

The last few days have been a bit chaotic, but for those of you who don't know, the BF and I are getting married! We're only doing the civil ceremony for now in France; it's the equivalent of a wedding at city hall, but it is mandatory here. I won't bore you with the details -- for now.

Anyway, I have decided that today I shall go to the Marché St-Pierre today. The Marché St-Pierre is where almost all the fabric stores can be found, and I am in search of some cheap chiffon to do some draping with. The thing is, I have been stalling my journey over there, because I absolutely dread fabric buying. It is always the same thing every time. You go there, you walk around the floors touching fabrics left and right and finally settle on something you would like to purchase. Then you have to flag down a salesperson to cut your yardage for you. It always takes an hour before you see anyone and then when you make a beeline for them, there are inevitably about 5 other people also rushing towards the salesperson. Then you get up the nerve to open your mouth and squeak out, "um, excuse me? I want to get...." upon which the salesperson will always say one of the following: "This is not my section/I'm busy/I'm going to lunch/I'm on my break/I'll be with you in 5 minutes" - unless they end up just abruptly walking away without a word. Obviously the "I'll be with you in 5 minutes" is a lie, because it's just a way to get you out of their hair. By the time you've finally flagged down another salesperson, it's 5 hours later and you've forgotten what fabric you wanted in the first place. Ugh.

In other news, I have become a master chef. Cooking is a necessity here in France as few people eat out as much as we do in New York, and delivery is not an option, much to my dismay. I admit I was not happy at first about having to cook, but then I figured I might as well make it a fun thing and now I experiment a lot and it has become somewhat of a pleasure. My new thing is soup. I make all my soups from scratch. I've only made 2 different types of soup so far (I made zucchini soup last week and yesterday I made potato leek soup) but my last two soups were greeted with so much praise that it has totally boosted my confidence. All you really need to do is cook the vegetables - and the beauty is that you can totally make up your own combination - they are all good! I like to steam my veggies for about 20 minutes, then I peel the skins, and then I put them in a pot with a little bit of water (all the chicken/beef/vegetable stocks in France have wheat, so I can't use them) then I mush them together with an electric mixer. I might add some Kiri (a French cheese which is basically cream cheese) for thickness, then I add salt, pepper, and some herbes de provence, and voilà! It's really easy and it doesn't take longer than 10 minutes after you've steamed the veggies.

Your Guide to the French Presidential Candidates

As most of you probably know, the French presidential elections are coming up! These last couple of months, the whole city is abuzz about this subject! It just seems so cool and almost heartwarming that even on the bus, you can hear people wildly debating the merits of Sarko vs. Ségo! (Word on the street is that Sarko = scary and Ségo = pretty but stupid). Here is my guide to the 2007 French Elections - who would you vote for?

Nicolas Sarkozy: Right-wing candidate commonly referred to as "Sarko". Wants to be president more than anything in the world! Would assassinate his mom if it meant he would be president. Thinks his smile is friendly and humble, but is actually scary and threatening. However, he is unbeatable when it comes to debates - he is always prepared with excellent answers to the toughest questions. Criticized for his handling of the Paris suburb riots last year, despised by illegal immigrants everywhere for his harsh stance on immigration. Previously dated Jacques Chirac's daughter Claude, even though he was married at the time. Showed up in NYC for 9/11 ceremonies; bestowed French medals of honor or whatever to firefighters, went jogging in Central Park with French camera crews, and gave a bunch of speeches, claiming that France loves all things American. (Nice try, but we all know that France does not heart America!) Met with President Bush, where the two-faced social climber dissed Chirac for having not supported the American invasion of Iraq - on return to France, went around telling everyone that Chirac did good by not joining the invasion. Here's an excellent article about him in the UK's Independent.
Conclusion: Sarko = creepy man-whore with Napoleon Complex.

Ségolène Royal: Representing the Socialist party, "Ségo" is the first female presidential candidate with a real chance of winning! She is pacsed to François Hollande, leader of the Socialist party, and has 4 children. Was photographed by the paparazzi on a beach this summer in a bikini, which confirmed her status as the hottest female politician today. Typical answers to questions include "You are asking me this question because I am a woman! Would you ask a man this question?" and "My opinion is that of the French people". Excellent at playing the victim. No experience whatsoever in foreign policy (had several embarrassing episodes on her world tour). Questionable fashion sense has notably improved and is now often decked out in Chanel-type suits. Check out this article about her on Wikipedia for more info.
Conclusion: Under normal circumstances, the formula of (Working Mom + Victim) x (Hottie + Chanel suits) = President. Too bad she's incapable of leading a country.

François Bayrou: The French Ralph Nader, except that he has an actual chance of winning. The Centrist candidate is seen as a viable alternative to Sarko and Ségo, and the most recent polls have him neck-in-neck with Miz Ségo. Likes to spend time riding around on his tractor. Often referred to these days as "The Third Man". According to the NY Times, speaks excellent English (a relative on his wife's side of the family is married to an American). No clue on what his platform is, because he's so boring that I lose interest in a matter of minutes. Have constant impression that he is going to fall asleep any second, or that he would much rather be somewhere else (on his tractor, maybe?) Here's an article about him.
Conclusion: The only real alternative to those 2 losers, and in all fairness, might actually make a really good president; admittedly seems like an honest politician, plus has no involvement in any scandals. BUT: No Personality = Big Yawn.

Some other candidates:

Jean-Marie Le Pen: In a suprising turn of events, this far-right candidate somehow advanced to the second round, where he faced off against Jacques Chirac. Infamous for his racism and known to be a closeted Holocaust denier. He thinks he can fool everyone by putting up posters of himself hanging out with black people! Well, he maybe tricked everyone into voting for him 5 years ago, but he's not fooling me! Click here for a New York Times article about the 78 year old xenophobe, and here for this recent article that mentions his racism in the Washington Post.
Conclusion: This wildcard has secret admirers! People really vote for him! Not cool!

Olivier Besancenot: A mailman who represents the extreme left party, the Revolutionary Communist League. He works a mail route in the chic Paris suburb of Neuilly-sur-Seine (if Paris were Manhattan, the Neuilly would be the Upper East Side). Advantage of being a mailman is that he can interact with the voters on his route and maybe even slip a few fliers into people's mailboxes. Don't think it will make a difference, though.
Conclusion: Seriously, who is going to vote for someone who represents some sort of militant communist party?

Some Guy Who Sold His House To Finance His Election: I don't remember his name, and I'm not sure he's even got the 500 signatures, or if he's still in the running.
Conclusion: That was a really risky move.

José Bové: Some sort of Leftist candidate who is all about anti-globalization. Often in the news for speaking out against stuff like genetically modified meat and vegetables. I think he was even in jail for awhile. Always dressed in farmer's clothes. Looks like he could use a nice hot shower and a shave. Not sure that he has all necessary signatures.
Conclusion: Hello! Genetically modified corn is the last concern on everyone's mind!

Miscellaneous people:

Jacques Chirac: The Sarkozy-hater has announced his retirement from politics, so he will not be seeking a third term. (After 12 years in office, it's time to give those other losers a chance!) Probably will not go down in history as the Best President Ever! (what with the Clearstream scandal and all) but possesses quite a bit of charm and charisma. He likes to flirt with the ladies at those head-of-state meetings and he totally kisses their hands and everything - a much more appropriate gesture than Bush's bear hugs.
Conclusion: Gives impression that in reality, the most important thing in life is a good glass of wine and a bloody hunk of steak. This is a very attractive trait to the French!

Dominique de Villepin: The current Prime Minister is Chirac's protégé. Any hopes of running for president were dashed by the people's rejection of his C.P.E. His daughter Marie is a model, and can currently be seen in Givenchy's "Ange ou Démon" perfume ads. Very handsome and distinguished looking; wears really nice suits. I suspect he is no stranger to Botox and weekly mani-pedis.
Conclusion: The most disturbing thing, though, is his permanent tan.

Michèle Alliot-Marie: Sometimes referred to as "MAM". Currently Defense Secrety under Mr. Chirac. May not possess the striking good looks nor the svelte body of Ségo, but would probably have been a much more credible female candidate. Has that no-nonsense mum thing going on - she'll whup your ass if you mess with her! Decided not to run for president and threw her support behind Sarko.
Conclusion: You know Sarko totally has a hitman on his payroll. Why else would MAM and Perma-Tan, known opponents of his, support him?

For a much more serious explanation of the 2007 French elections, wikipedia.com has an excellent page about it here.

Are you pistonné?

Argh....It's been rough going today. Yesterday was the BF's birthday so we went out and celebrated the big 3-0. It involved a lot of champagne. At least I am lucky enough that I can sort of take the day off (read: not do a single thing) but the poor BF has to work all day....

I would like to say thanks to all of you who have read my blog and given me lots of encouragement! I can feel the confidence slowly growing....maybe one day I shall make this a public blog and then EVERYONE can read it! (But, honestly, probably not).

Anyway, I have decided that I shall try to slowly but surely explain all aspects of my "glamourous" life in France. I shall attempt to show you that life is not all rosy here in Paris...I insist that you all suffer with me, too!

(I should point out that I do not want to offend anyone but this is all from the point of view of an American who has had a lot of experience being in France and who has lived here for awhile now. It's not really criticizing per se, but more of a comparison between the two countries. So it's not necessary to freak out and say that I am French-bashing, because that is not my intent.)

The first and foremost thing that is very important to understand is the French concept of "piston". It means that nepotism is alive and well! You're not going anywhere, bub, unless you've got yourself a contact somewhere, in the form of your piston, who is going to help you. You MUST know someone if you want to survive. I suppose in some areas, like law or banking, it is a lot easier, and there are a lot more job opportunities, but if you've decided to pursue a career in an artistic field, it is a lot harder. Think you might like to be an actor? Good luck even getting yourself an agent if Mom's a schoolteacher and Dad's a policeman. As a (French) friend of the BF's explained to me once, "If your parents already work in the industry you want to go into, then you've got a right to be there. But if your parents work in an industry that has nothing to do with what you want to do in life, it's nearly impossible to break in."

You know how sometimes in books that involve people immigrating to America back in the day, there's always that character who says "Ah, America is the promised land. Here, everything is possible. This was not so in the Old World. A man could never rise above his father's position." It's still kind of true over here. It's a real shock to a lot of Americans (me included) just because in the U.S. everything is possible - you can be from the ghetto and with hard work, you too can be successful and wealthy and all that stuff. But in my experience, when I tell some French people that this can happen in the U.S. they look at me like I'm crazy. They're all, "yeah, okay, right, like that could really ever happen!"

Admittedly, this has been the hardest concept for me to understand. I think it comes from being American, having grown up being more open to things, though a lot of comes from the influences of the people in my life back home, all of whom are worldly and intelligent and very open and tolerant. To me, it is very restraining and old-fashioned. I see and hear a lot of stories of Americans or other anglophones who come to France looking for the good life, and it almost seems as if they are just so naïve. The biggest shock for a lot of people coming here, is that they think it will be so easy to get a job, just because English is their native language and people tend to reason that it is such a big plus, and surely a skill that is in high demand. When you're from a country that has jobs-a-plenty, it's very hard to understand that this is not the case elsewhere. The harsh reality is that if you don't speak French, you're not going to get a job. You're not even going to get a work permit. I know that in the U.S. there are a massive number of foreigners who come to work, and have secured a sponsorship for a work permit and everything, but it's so much harder here in the E.U. to get that permit. This is a country that's got complicated labor laws in addition to all this old-school thinking, plus an unbelievably high unemployment rate (I think it's somewhere around 9 - 10%) so the truth of the matter is that there are very few jobs even for French people, so why on earth would they want to bring in Americans?

Anyway, the frightening thing for me is that since my residence permit is up for renewal, this means that I have been the holder of a work permit for almost a year now. And I still haven't found a job; instead I have been forced to bounce from one internship to another, with no prospects of getting hired. (More about internships another time). There are so few positions open in any fashion house here - maybe a maximum of 2 asst designer positions? So, even though I've got my pistons and my contacts and everything, it doesn't mean that I'm going to get a job anytime soon, since I've got to wait in line just like all the other people who are pistonné, and let me tell you, there are people with way more powerful contacts than me. I guess part of why I haven't really been looking these days is that I know how hard it is and I sort of feel like I've been defeated before I've even begun. Not to worry, though, I know it takes patience and perseverance, and I will surely bounce back soon, but for the time being, I'm still sort of wallowing in this weird state of passiveness and I'm sort of stuck between the whole "I feel hopeless; I don't care about anything anymore" and "I am going to make it work, and I will do whatever it takes, and eventually everyone will realize just how awesome I am!"

So for the time being I've settled into a state of mind somewhere between the two - I spend a few hours a day sketching, reworking my portfolio, knitting and/or sewing up a few samples, and then I spend the other part of the day playing around with this blog, or doing errands and other mundane tasks. I guess the biggest hurdle left to do is to write cover letters. You must all be thinking, "oh, but your French is so good, what is so hard about writing them?" Well, cover letters are a big deal in France. They are very flowery and long-winded, and people use lots of big, fancy words I don't know to say stuff like "I am looking for a job", and "Sincerely, (your name)" I suppose an English equivalent of a French cover letter would be something along the lines of:

"I would so appreciate a wonderful opportunity such as this to integrate myself as part of the spectacular team, as I am so filled with awe for the greatness that is Your Company and because of my previous experiences in this industry I am surely the most qualified since I have learned to respect the marketing and the symbol of elegance, femininity and timelessness that your historical fashion house represents for millions of women around the world who surely agree with me. In addition, you will find that I am surely the best candidate who has applied to work with the greatness that is your fashion house, as I am capable of very hard tasks such as meeting deadlines and sending e-mails and I would be so honored to be a part of your fashion house because I, like the adjectives synonymous with your fashion house, am also an elegant and timeless being and I am also filled with the all-knowing truth about the meaning of life, thus, I really believe that I would fit in so well with your fashion house, because I AM all that and so much more....".

So you see, no, I am not capable of writing a cover letter in French, but the BF, being part of that oh-so-exclusive club of French people, is, and as he has pointed out many times, letter writing is an art form and not one to be taken lightly.

Anyway, we shall see what happens.....more next time!

P.S.: I finally figured out how to do the italics and bold and all that, plus how to link and post pictures (in case you couldn't tell). I just have to use Mozilla Firefox as my browser instead of Safari because apparently Safari doesn't support that many features. Damn you, Safari, for not having all the necessary features of blogger.com! And damn you, blogger.com, for not making all features available on Safari! And while I'm at it, damn the Apple people for turning me into a Mac addict since I was a child, and for coming out with new operating systems every other week! And damn that Mac OS conspiracy -- if you haven't bought the lastest OS for $6,000 you're screwed! People around the world pay like, $10 million for their Macs and they're all outdated a week later! Argh!

After the fact...

I'm back....had to run out to do some errands and I had some time to calm myself down from the panic swelling throughout my body by the mere idea that I have started a blog....anyway, yeah, it seems kind of silly to freak out about something as simple and harmless as a blog, but I guess at heart I am a very private person and I don't like the idea of being out there for the whole world to see. So as a sort of compromise, I've decided to make this a private blog, so that only you, my friends and loved ones, will be able to read my inner thoughts. Plus, some of y'all have been constantly singing the praises of my mad writing skillz, so I guess a blog is a good way to see if I like it. (And it's an excellent procrastination tool).


Anyway, as you all know, I just got back to Paris recently after a lovely two week trip back home to NYC. It was so nice to be back in the U.S. Plus, I rediscovered the Greatness that is American Television. I know it sounds stupid, but here in France, I hardly ever watch TV. I just can't stand it when everything is dubbed into French - the worst part being that the actor's mouths are moving, but what they're saying (in French) just isn't matching up with the movements of their mouths. There are SO MANY shows in the U.S.! My new favorite shows (replacing, alas, Friends) are Heroes and Ugly Betty.

The whole trip to NY would have been totally perfect had I not received a harrowing phone call from France summoning me for an interview. As you all know, it was only an internship, but it was with one of those giant luxury conglomerates, so I would have at least had a foot in the door. Alas, I got rejected...my first rejection EVER after an interview.... So as you can imagine, I was pretty miffed about the whole thing. The first few days were filled with self-doubt ("What did I do wrong? Do I suck?") to be followed with thoughts of anger ("How dare they reject ME?!?!?!"). And now I find myself in a bit of a slump. I'm thinking "OK, time to pick myself up and dust myself off and start over again" but at the same time I don't really want to....maybe I'm scared? I don't know what it is, but I suddenly find it super important to do stuff like clean the kitchen and organize the cupboards and my closet when I try to sit down to work on my new portfolio (having ripped the pages of my current one out, in a fit of anger -- but don't worry, it's not ruined) or writing a cover letter.
Anyway, it's back to the drawing board for me (literally), but not before I make some tea....and maybe vacuum....

Making the leap...

Hmmm. Well, after much hemming and hawing, I have finally decided to start a blog.

For now, it will mainly be just a way for me to keep in touch with everyone and to keep everyone updated on the happenings of my life here in gay Pareee...

Stay tuned!