So we are more or less moved into the apartment now - everything is more or less clean (a few closets still need to be cleaned out, but the bulk of the apartment is now livable).
On Tuesday we ended up going up to Chelsea to see the guy who had subleted my apartment. He was supposed to stop by my place at 11 am, but he called us at like, 10:15 and we were still in the car on the way to the city from Mom's. He was all, "Hey, I'm in the neighborhood, can I stop by now?" and I was like, "Um, no...". He refused to stop by after work, so he suggested we go to his office to get the keys back. I was kind of annoyed about it, but the H said we'd better go because otherwise we would NEVER get the keys back.
So we took the crosstown bus over and I have to say, the guy was definitely getting over his pneumonia and other illnesses. He looked deathly pale and was really, really skinny, and had dark circles under his eyes. I was all, "Dude, what is up with the air conditioner?" which he claimed still worked, but it was so dirty and disgusting that I didn't even test it out. Then I was like, "Where's my check?" and he said he didn't have the money, and would let me know when he could give it to me. I did feel bad for him, but I was like, "Give me a check and I won't cash it now; I'll wait until you say it is okay to cash it." He didn't seem to want to do it, so I said his options were either to give me a check for the full amount, or else write me out some sort of payment plan - i.e. in 2 weeks he'll give me $200, in another 2 weeks, $250, etc. He didn't seem into that either, but finally I said, "Listen, I know it's been rough going for you, but you have to look at it from my point of view, too. I have to pay the bulk of the March rent plus the April one, and I still haven't been able to move in, because there is SO MUCH CLEANING to do." He was a bit pissy about it, but said he'd put a check in the mail (which I still have not received). He was also a bit pissy about the ConEd bill, insisting that when he talked to them, they said his payment was good until the next bill, so he didn't understand why there were new charges from the period of March 14 - April 14. He was all, "I'm not responsible for April 'cause I wasn't there," and then I was like, "Well, neither am I because I haven't been living there, and I didn't even set foot in there to start cleaning until the H arrived in NY, on April 14th." Finally he took the bill, said he would call ConEd and take care of it. Hmmmmph.
Saturday, April 26, 2008
Monday, April 21, 2008
Hell Hath No Fury....
Grrrrrrrrrr.
That female time of the month came around this weekend...which happened to coincide with the Pope's visit.
The Pope was in NYC of course, but on Saturday he took a little trip up to Westchester...right near where Mom lives. So we had gone out to do some shopping and ended up being blocked from our own street. We realized this when on our regular route home, the whole street leading to my mom's little street was blocked, and the police officer said we had to go around to the other side of the street in order to get through. So we took like, a 30 minute detour only to be blocked from that side, too! The mean police officer on the other side refused to let us through despite our pleading that we were actually RESIDENTS on that street and he was all, "Too bad, you gonna have to wait til 8 pm." (It was like, 4 pm when he said that). I was really mean and upset because I was having major cramps and a headache and all I wanted was to go home, pop a couple of Advil, smoke a cigarette, and lie down. I mean, I have nothing against the Pope and all that, but still, I really do think residents of blocked off streets should be allowed through because some of us NEED to go home and do not want to spend all our time sitting in a car for four hours. Anyway, we ended up taking another detour which meant that we had to go the opposite direction down a one way street in order to get back to mom's. By that point, I was REALLY upset and ready to bitchslap anyone who got in my way.
In other news, the apartment is coming along, but now I am really mad at the guy who subleted. He finally responded via email last night that he has been up and around for the last 3 days (since he was recovering from pneumonia). I asked him to please stop by the apartment this week to give me back my keys, plus the remainder of the March rent, plus $70 of the $81.60 ConEd bill; also there was a bunch of mail for him and we needed to discuss the condition of my apartment. To which he responded that he was "quite frankly surprised" that I could be so upset because "I was residing in your apartment for the last 3 years and when you said you wanted it back, I gave it back to you without a hassle." Excuse you? It was a freaking sublet, of course you are supposed to give it back without a hassle! Then he said with three years of living in an apartment, I should expect the furniture to have wear and tear and I should expect to clean an apartment, which was why he paid an extra $100 on top of the regular rent, to cover the costs. Um, excuse you again, but my apartment was FULLY FURNISHED and okay, a little bit of dirt is ok, but NOT THREE YEARS OF DIRT! I am paying the April rent, but cannot even live in the freaking apartment because it is so DIRTY! And he should have ASKED ME before he went around taking apart my furniture! And he only wants to pay $40 for his half of the ConEd bill, but excuse me, the billing period is from Mar 14 - Apr 14 and the H didn't even arrive in NYC until the evening of Apr 13th. I went by the apartment once for 30 mins on like, Apr 12 to survey the damage done, so I am so not paying $40 for the 30 mins I was there. Not to mention, the guy sent me an email on April 6th at like, 10 pm to tell me he had vacated the apartment as of April 1st, but "my internet was down all last week and I didn't have anyone's phone number". Um, whose internet service could POSSIBLY be down for an ENTIRE WEEK in the NY Tri-State area???? Like, he couldn't go to a friend's house and use the internet, or go to an internet café????? And now he's all like, I don't have the money for the March rent; I'll pay you when I can. Well, I know the guy is having financial problems (he is also in trouble with the IRS) but I'm sorry, this is not my problem, and it's already almost May.
Argh! Mom says to be civil to him so I can a) get the keys back; and b) so I don't piss him off so much that he won't pay me the $820 + $70 for the rent and ConEd. But still, I am THIS CLOSE to bitchslapping his ass. I mean, he left a paper plate with leftover food on it under my bed! Who does that????? And who breaks your 4 year old air conditioner? I'm sorry, but air conditioners do not just break like that after 7 years, not if you take good care of it like normal people do.
That female time of the month came around this weekend...which happened to coincide with the Pope's visit.
The Pope was in NYC of course, but on Saturday he took a little trip up to Westchester...right near where Mom lives. So we had gone out to do some shopping and ended up being blocked from our own street. We realized this when on our regular route home, the whole street leading to my mom's little street was blocked, and the police officer said we had to go around to the other side of the street in order to get through. So we took like, a 30 minute detour only to be blocked from that side, too! The mean police officer on the other side refused to let us through despite our pleading that we were actually RESIDENTS on that street and he was all, "Too bad, you gonna have to wait til 8 pm." (It was like, 4 pm when he said that). I was really mean and upset because I was having major cramps and a headache and all I wanted was to go home, pop a couple of Advil, smoke a cigarette, and lie down. I mean, I have nothing against the Pope and all that, but still, I really do think residents of blocked off streets should be allowed through because some of us NEED to go home and do not want to spend all our time sitting in a car for four hours. Anyway, we ended up taking another detour which meant that we had to go the opposite direction down a one way street in order to get back to mom's. By that point, I was REALLY upset and ready to bitchslap anyone who got in my way.
In other news, the apartment is coming along, but now I am really mad at the guy who subleted. He finally responded via email last night that he has been up and around for the last 3 days (since he was recovering from pneumonia). I asked him to please stop by the apartment this week to give me back my keys, plus the remainder of the March rent, plus $70 of the $81.60 ConEd bill; also there was a bunch of mail for him and we needed to discuss the condition of my apartment. To which he responded that he was "quite frankly surprised" that I could be so upset because "I was residing in your apartment for the last 3 years and when you said you wanted it back, I gave it back to you without a hassle." Excuse you? It was a freaking sublet, of course you are supposed to give it back without a hassle! Then he said with three years of living in an apartment, I should expect the furniture to have wear and tear and I should expect to clean an apartment, which was why he paid an extra $100 on top of the regular rent, to cover the costs. Um, excuse you again, but my apartment was FULLY FURNISHED and okay, a little bit of dirt is ok, but NOT THREE YEARS OF DIRT! I am paying the April rent, but cannot even live in the freaking apartment because it is so DIRTY! And he should have ASKED ME before he went around taking apart my furniture! And he only wants to pay $40 for his half of the ConEd bill, but excuse me, the billing period is from Mar 14 - Apr 14 and the H didn't even arrive in NYC until the evening of Apr 13th. I went by the apartment once for 30 mins on like, Apr 12 to survey the damage done, so I am so not paying $40 for the 30 mins I was there. Not to mention, the guy sent me an email on April 6th at like, 10 pm to tell me he had vacated the apartment as of April 1st, but "my internet was down all last week and I didn't have anyone's phone number". Um, whose internet service could POSSIBLY be down for an ENTIRE WEEK in the NY Tri-State area???? Like, he couldn't go to a friend's house and use the internet, or go to an internet café????? And now he's all like, I don't have the money for the March rent; I'll pay you when I can. Well, I know the guy is having financial problems (he is also in trouble with the IRS) but I'm sorry, this is not my problem, and it's already almost May.
Argh! Mom says to be civil to him so I can a) get the keys back; and b) so I don't piss him off so much that he won't pay me the $820 + $70 for the rent and ConEd. But still, I am THIS CLOSE to bitchslapping his ass. I mean, he left a paper plate with leftover food on it under my bed! Who does that????? And who breaks your 4 year old air conditioner? I'm sorry, but air conditioners do not just break like that after 7 years, not if you take good care of it like normal people do.
Friday, April 18, 2008
Spring cleaning
Ugh.
So the H arrived on Sunday, and since Tuesday we have been spending all our time shopping for, and cleaning the apartment.
I had warned the H over the phone before his arrival that we should probably hire a cleaning lady (people tell me that it will probably be in the $60-70 range for a studio). The H kept saying, "Oh, it can't possibly be THAT bad; you'll see, we'll clean it ourselves and save that $70 for something else, like a new air conditioner!"
Well, when he went to look at my apartment on Monday, he was like, "Oh, crap." It was unfortunately quite overwhelmingly dirty. But seeing as he doesn't believe in hiring cleaning ladies, he was quite stubborn about us cleaning it ourselves (to my extreme dismay).
We spent several mornings going to places like Target, Bed, Bath & Beyond, and Ikea. In the afternoons, we clean. I have to be honest and say it is mostly the H who cleans, as I have a tendency to take many cigarette breaks (also because of the severe amount of dust in the apartment, I get massive allergy attacks the minute I touch something in there). Anyway, it took about 2 days, but we managed to completely clean every inch of the bathroom - and it looks really good! It is all white and shiny just like it used to be. Last night we got part of the kitchen done.
While it's nice to be making progress in the apartment, the H and I keep saying every few minutes, "Dude, what is this guy's PROBLEM???" It is so obvious that the guy has not cleaned in like, 3 years. On Tuesday we started throwing out a whole bunch of his stuff and when we went through the kitchen sink cabinet, we found all of my cleaning products that I had left behind. They were all clustered together way in the back gathering dust. I was kinda like, "Wow, so he basically just never cleaned ever since he came into the apartment! My cleaning products have not been used since last time I lived here!" (And believe you me, I left a LOT of cleaning products behind).
The most disgusting part has been cleaned - the toilet. In fact, we even bought a new toilet seat because it was just so gross. Yesterday when we cleaned the kitchen, there was like some weird moldy dirt all around the kitchen sink and when we cleaned the stove, there was like all this dried food stuck everywhere, including INSIDE the stove top - like dried pasta, garlic, etc. "Ugh," I had said, while vacuuming the inside of the stove top, "no wonder this guy has been single for 3 years. He has some seriously questionable hygiene. Like, okay, so you don't like to clean - at least hire a cleaning lady to come once a week or something. I mean, who can LIVE in this kind of a mess? You have to wonder how often he showers!" To which the H replied, "Well, considering how dirty the bathtub and shower were, I'd have to say he must have showered regularly, but maybe it wasn't very efficient considering the build up of dirt in there..."
The guy still has not contacted me yet regarding the rent (and last month's ConEd bill, which I just received, for $81 from March 14 - April 14; I'm going to have to ask him to pay like $65 of it, since I wasn't really there until April 14th when H and I went over to check out the damage. Earlier this week though, I did get an email from him saying he was just recovering from pneumonia. I sort of feel sorry for him, because he obviously has been very sick and has financial problems - I received a bunch of mail for him, and among them were tons of credit card and bank bills as well as several doctor's bills and medical lab bills - so he wasn't lying when he said he had been sick with heart problems previously. At the same time, from my point of view, it's kind of like, "Well, it's not really my problem, considering the mess you left me with, plus the money you owe me." So most likely, the guy really did have pneumonia, which I am very sorry about, but it's also like, "Dude, you could have at least contacted me earlier, and where is my money? It's been like, 3 weeks now..."
The other piece of good news is that H managed to put part of my Ikea Billy bookcase together. We also opened our new joint account with HSBC US (we already are with HSBC in France). All that is left now is to install some new Ikea furniture (well, not furniture, but we bought some shelves for the bathroom and kitchen) and wait for H's social security and green card - he is pretty much blocked from doing anything in the US until he gets that social security number.
Anyway, we are off to my apartment again...hopefully it won't be too much of a nightmare - we have to take my mom's car in as we need to bring a bunch of stuff with us and bring back all the cleaning supplies for my mom's cleaning lady tomorrow. The problem is that the Pope is visiting New York right now, so there will most likely be some major nightmare traffic going on. Oh, well. At least progress is being made and that is always good. (But still, who DOES THAT to an apartment that they SUBLETED?!)
So the H arrived on Sunday, and since Tuesday we have been spending all our time shopping for, and cleaning the apartment.
I had warned the H over the phone before his arrival that we should probably hire a cleaning lady (people tell me that it will probably be in the $60-70 range for a studio). The H kept saying, "Oh, it can't possibly be THAT bad; you'll see, we'll clean it ourselves and save that $70 for something else, like a new air conditioner!"
Well, when he went to look at my apartment on Monday, he was like, "Oh, crap." It was unfortunately quite overwhelmingly dirty. But seeing as he doesn't believe in hiring cleaning ladies, he was quite stubborn about us cleaning it ourselves (to my extreme dismay).
We spent several mornings going to places like Target, Bed, Bath & Beyond, and Ikea. In the afternoons, we clean. I have to be honest and say it is mostly the H who cleans, as I have a tendency to take many cigarette breaks (also because of the severe amount of dust in the apartment, I get massive allergy attacks the minute I touch something in there). Anyway, it took about 2 days, but we managed to completely clean every inch of the bathroom - and it looks really good! It is all white and shiny just like it used to be. Last night we got part of the kitchen done.
While it's nice to be making progress in the apartment, the H and I keep saying every few minutes, "Dude, what is this guy's PROBLEM???" It is so obvious that the guy has not cleaned in like, 3 years. On Tuesday we started throwing out a whole bunch of his stuff and when we went through the kitchen sink cabinet, we found all of my cleaning products that I had left behind. They were all clustered together way in the back gathering dust. I was kinda like, "Wow, so he basically just never cleaned ever since he came into the apartment! My cleaning products have not been used since last time I lived here!" (And believe you me, I left a LOT of cleaning products behind).
The most disgusting part has been cleaned - the toilet. In fact, we even bought a new toilet seat because it was just so gross. Yesterday when we cleaned the kitchen, there was like some weird moldy dirt all around the kitchen sink and when we cleaned the stove, there was like all this dried food stuck everywhere, including INSIDE the stove top - like dried pasta, garlic, etc. "Ugh," I had said, while vacuuming the inside of the stove top, "no wonder this guy has been single for 3 years. He has some seriously questionable hygiene. Like, okay, so you don't like to clean - at least hire a cleaning lady to come once a week or something. I mean, who can LIVE in this kind of a mess? You have to wonder how often he showers!" To which the H replied, "Well, considering how dirty the bathtub and shower were, I'd have to say he must have showered regularly, but maybe it wasn't very efficient considering the build up of dirt in there..."
The guy still has not contacted me yet regarding the rent (and last month's ConEd bill, which I just received, for $81 from March 14 - April 14; I'm going to have to ask him to pay like $65 of it, since I wasn't really there until April 14th when H and I went over to check out the damage. Earlier this week though, I did get an email from him saying he was just recovering from pneumonia. I sort of feel sorry for him, because he obviously has been very sick and has financial problems - I received a bunch of mail for him, and among them were tons of credit card and bank bills as well as several doctor's bills and medical lab bills - so he wasn't lying when he said he had been sick with heart problems previously. At the same time, from my point of view, it's kind of like, "Well, it's not really my problem, considering the mess you left me with, plus the money you owe me." So most likely, the guy really did have pneumonia, which I am very sorry about, but it's also like, "Dude, you could have at least contacted me earlier, and where is my money? It's been like, 3 weeks now..."
The other piece of good news is that H managed to put part of my Ikea Billy bookcase together. We also opened our new joint account with HSBC US (we already are with HSBC in France). All that is left now is to install some new Ikea furniture (well, not furniture, but we bought some shelves for the bathroom and kitchen) and wait for H's social security and green card - he is pretty much blocked from doing anything in the US until he gets that social security number.
Anyway, we are off to my apartment again...hopefully it won't be too much of a nightmare - we have to take my mom's car in as we need to bring a bunch of stuff with us and bring back all the cleaning supplies for my mom's cleaning lady tomorrow. The problem is that the Pope is visiting New York right now, so there will most likely be some major nightmare traffic going on. Oh, well. At least progress is being made and that is always good. (But still, who DOES THAT to an apartment that they SUBLETED?!)
Wednesday, April 9, 2008
Nightmare
It's been awhile and I've been busy, busy, busy!
I've had four interviews so far - 2 with headhunters, and 2 for jobs (1 of which was provided via the headhunter). Like in France (or anywhere else), entry level positions into the more prestigious houses are hard to come by - I mean, theoretically, if you worked at Chanel for example, you would not be planning on leaving anytime soon! I've mostly interviewed with a few higher price point contemporary brands (none of which do runway) but I don't have much US experience as a designer, so at least it would get the ball rolling.
However, I've been busiest with my apartment. I had subleted it out for the time that I was in Paris to this guy. I had forewarned him back in like, February, that I would take back my apartment in May. Unfortunately, the guy emailed me like, this weekend and said he had vacated the apartment as of April 1st. Back when the guy moved in, I made him pay me a $100 security deposit. I know, I know, it's not a lot, but I had subleted my apartment several times previously and had never really had any problems. Plus, this time, as I would be leaving for an incredibly extended period of time, I had cleared all my stuff out of the place, except for the furniture.
Well, suffice it to say, when I went to check on the state of my apartment yesterday, I was quite shocked! The place was absolutely FILTHY. Not just a little dirty, but really, truly, FILTHY. My air conditioner (which I had bought since the apartment didn't have one before, and Manhattan in the summer without air conditioning is akin to suicide) was completely broken - the entire front cover was lying on the floor along with the filter, wires hanging out of it, paper bags stuffed into the vents, and a large gap on the side of the window. The smoke alarm has been taken apart for some odd reason. My bathtub is disgustingly (and possibly permanently) yellowed. The knob to switch between the shower and bath is missing, as is the plug for the bathtub. My shower curtain has disappeared along with my coffee table, and my cheap Ikea bookshelves have been dismantled and are lying in a heap on the floor. There are 4 dirty glasses in the sink, a thick film of dust all over the place, and some creepy yellow liquid in the vegetable crisper in the fridge (which I think might be beer seeing as there are about 12 bottles of beer in the fridge). Plus, I had this desk from Ikea that had a shelf system attached to it, which has also been dismantled. Pots and pans are sitting in heap on a dirty stove (though the pots and pans seem to be somewhat clean) and there is a piece of silver foil with crumbs sitting inside the oven. The only good part was that the freezer had been defrosted and was extraordinarily clean, but still, I was really, really shocked. I mean, who takes apart your furniture??? It's a SUBLET, not a permanent rental!
Anyway, I was planning on bitching out the guy - he still has an extra set of keys for some reason, and I definitely want them back. The problem is, he still has not finished paying the March rent, and owes another $800 or so. I like to think that I am a nice and sympathetic person, and I understand that this guy has been having a hard time recently - I think he is in trouble with the IRS, and he doesn't really have health insurance since he is a freelance graphic artist, and I know he had some major health problems recently, which included a stay in the hospital. He also managed to find an apartment, but had to hand over a 3 month security deposit. I know that life can be tough, and I know what it's like, but still, my apartment looks like it has been trashed!
I told the H the whole story and he was nonchalant about paying an extra month's rent for April, but pointed out that once Ikea furniture has been taken apart, you most likely cannot put it back together again. We might have to hire a cleaning person to come in and clean the place up, and I guess we'll be getting some newer furniture, or at least putting up some shelves. Plus, we'll have to buy a new air conditioner, so these are more expenses that we were not counting on. Everyone says that since the guy still owes me $800+ for last month's rent, I should not bitch him out as this means that he might just not pay me the money he owes, and that I should be courteous. But still, who DOES THAT to a sublet???
Anyway, the H is arriving on Sunday night, so we'll see what we can do. I've emailed the guy asking him to meet me on Monday at the apartment as there are several things we need to discuss, and if he could please bring the check for the remainder of the March rent.
I've had four interviews so far - 2 with headhunters, and 2 for jobs (1 of which was provided via the headhunter). Like in France (or anywhere else), entry level positions into the more prestigious houses are hard to come by - I mean, theoretically, if you worked at Chanel for example, you would not be planning on leaving anytime soon! I've mostly interviewed with a few higher price point contemporary brands (none of which do runway) but I don't have much US experience as a designer, so at least it would get the ball rolling.
However, I've been busiest with my apartment. I had subleted it out for the time that I was in Paris to this guy. I had forewarned him back in like, February, that I would take back my apartment in May. Unfortunately, the guy emailed me like, this weekend and said he had vacated the apartment as of April 1st. Back when the guy moved in, I made him pay me a $100 security deposit. I know, I know, it's not a lot, but I had subleted my apartment several times previously and had never really had any problems. Plus, this time, as I would be leaving for an incredibly extended period of time, I had cleared all my stuff out of the place, except for the furniture.
Well, suffice it to say, when I went to check on the state of my apartment yesterday, I was quite shocked! The place was absolutely FILTHY. Not just a little dirty, but really, truly, FILTHY. My air conditioner (which I had bought since the apartment didn't have one before, and Manhattan in the summer without air conditioning is akin to suicide) was completely broken - the entire front cover was lying on the floor along with the filter, wires hanging out of it, paper bags stuffed into the vents, and a large gap on the side of the window. The smoke alarm has been taken apart for some odd reason. My bathtub is disgustingly (and possibly permanently) yellowed. The knob to switch between the shower and bath is missing, as is the plug for the bathtub. My shower curtain has disappeared along with my coffee table, and my cheap Ikea bookshelves have been dismantled and are lying in a heap on the floor. There are 4 dirty glasses in the sink, a thick film of dust all over the place, and some creepy yellow liquid in the vegetable crisper in the fridge (which I think might be beer seeing as there are about 12 bottles of beer in the fridge). Plus, I had this desk from Ikea that had a shelf system attached to it, which has also been dismantled. Pots and pans are sitting in heap on a dirty stove (though the pots and pans seem to be somewhat clean) and there is a piece of silver foil with crumbs sitting inside the oven. The only good part was that the freezer had been defrosted and was extraordinarily clean, but still, I was really, really shocked. I mean, who takes apart your furniture??? It's a SUBLET, not a permanent rental!
Anyway, I was planning on bitching out the guy - he still has an extra set of keys for some reason, and I definitely want them back. The problem is, he still has not finished paying the March rent, and owes another $800 or so. I like to think that I am a nice and sympathetic person, and I understand that this guy has been having a hard time recently - I think he is in trouble with the IRS, and he doesn't really have health insurance since he is a freelance graphic artist, and I know he had some major health problems recently, which included a stay in the hospital. He also managed to find an apartment, but had to hand over a 3 month security deposit. I know that life can be tough, and I know what it's like, but still, my apartment looks like it has been trashed!
I told the H the whole story and he was nonchalant about paying an extra month's rent for April, but pointed out that once Ikea furniture has been taken apart, you most likely cannot put it back together again. We might have to hire a cleaning person to come in and clean the place up, and I guess we'll be getting some newer furniture, or at least putting up some shelves. Plus, we'll have to buy a new air conditioner, so these are more expenses that we were not counting on. Everyone says that since the guy still owes me $800+ for last month's rent, I should not bitch him out as this means that he might just not pay me the money he owes, and that I should be courteous. But still, who DOES THAT to a sublet???
Anyway, the H is arriving on Sunday night, so we'll see what we can do. I've emailed the guy asking him to meet me on Monday at the apartment as there are several things we need to discuss, and if he could please bring the check for the remainder of the March rent.
Tuesday, April 1, 2008
It's called "Star WarS"...
One of the better things about being back in the US is hearing words the way they are meant to be pronounced.
Much as the French hate to admit it, English has managed to creep its way into French vocabulary, but what is kind of endearing (or annoying, depending on my mood) is how the French have Frenchified it all.
For example:
Tum Onks = Tom Hanks.
Reeshar Zsere = Richard Gere
Patreeck Swayz = Patrick Swayze (I gotta admit, hearing "Patreeck Swayz" still makes me crack up)
Brad Peet = Brad Pitt
Nyk = Nike
Levees = Levis
Star War = Star Wars
Ow I Met Yore Mozere = How I Met Your Mother (that TV show that FSIL is a big fan of. Except when she was telling me about it, she kept pronouncing it in French and I was very confused for about 10 minutes)
Owse = House (the TV show) (That one also threw me off, when this summer FSIL's friend was all, "Oh my gosh you have to watch this new TV show called Owse, it's really good!" and I was like, "Oooh, I never heard of it, is it an American show?")
Arnaud et Willy = Different Strokes
Zsorge Cloonay = George Clooney
Goldie Awn = Goldie Hawn
Gweeness Paltrow = Gwyneth Paltrow
Eetan Awk = Ethan Hawke
Reese Weesserspoooon = Reese Witherspoon
Uma Tureman = Uma Thurman
Neecole Keedmahn = Nicole Kidman
"un sweet" = sweats
Calveen Klah = Calvin Klein
Cate Blonshett = Cate Blanchett
Eees Legere = Heath Ledger
Michale/Keerk Dooglass = Michael/Kirk Douglas
U Gront = Hugh Grant
Lahdee Dee = Princess Diana of Wales (or Lady Di, as the French call her)
Eeex Men = The X-Men
Zsorge/Barr-Barah Booosh = George/Barbara Bush
Ilary/Beel Cleentonn = Hillary/Bill Clinton
Meet Rohmnay = Mitt Romney
Beep-Beep (actually spelled "Bip-Bip" in French) = Road Runner
Mee-kay = Mickey Mouse
Kees Reechars = Keith Richards
Meek Jaggere = Mick Jagger
Bub Deelahn = Bob Dylan
Justeen Teembearlake = Justin Timberlake
Orrrr-Aaay = Jorge (not a celebrity or anything, but the name of this Mexican guy who married this French girl I know. I only met him once at a wedding of this other couple, and I was all, "Hey, what's your name?" and he was like, "Zsorge" and I was like, "Cool, where are you from?" and he said, "Mexico" and I went, "Oh! So, is your name really Jorge?" and he said, "Yes, but French people can't pronounce my name." Then these French people standing near us overheard and they asked in alarm, "How do you pronounce your name????" Then they tried saying "Jorge" for 15 minutes before they gave up).
**Edit:
Estair = Hester (from The Scarlet Letter). I just remembered when I was a student in Paris and I watched part of The Scarlet Letter on TV and I was really confused for about 20 minutes. I hadn't read the book since high school and then they kept referring to Demi Moore as Estair. I was all confused, like, "I don't remember any Esther in the book....let alone as the main character, which Demi Moore must surely be..." Then when the movie was over I was like, "Ohhhh! Hester Prynne!!!!"
Much as the French hate to admit it, English has managed to creep its way into French vocabulary, but what is kind of endearing (or annoying, depending on my mood) is how the French have Frenchified it all.
For example:
Tum Onks = Tom Hanks.
Reeshar Zsere = Richard Gere
Patreeck Swayz = Patrick Swayze (I gotta admit, hearing "Patreeck Swayz" still makes me crack up)
Brad Peet = Brad Pitt
Nyk = Nike
Levees = Levis
Star War = Star Wars
Ow I Met Yore Mozere = How I Met Your Mother (that TV show that FSIL is a big fan of. Except when she was telling me about it, she kept pronouncing it in French and I was very confused for about 10 minutes)
Owse = House (the TV show) (That one also threw me off, when this summer FSIL's friend was all, "Oh my gosh you have to watch this new TV show called Owse, it's really good!" and I was like, "Oooh, I never heard of it, is it an American show?")
Arnaud et Willy = Different Strokes
Zsorge Cloonay = George Clooney
Goldie Awn = Goldie Hawn
Gweeness Paltrow = Gwyneth Paltrow
Eetan Awk = Ethan Hawke
Reese Weesserspoooon = Reese Witherspoon
Uma Tureman = Uma Thurman
Neecole Keedmahn = Nicole Kidman
"un sweet" = sweats
Calveen Klah = Calvin Klein
Cate Blonshett = Cate Blanchett
Eees Legere = Heath Ledger
Michale/Keerk Dooglass = Michael/Kirk Douglas
U Gront = Hugh Grant
Lahdee Dee = Princess Diana of Wales (or Lady Di, as the French call her)
Eeex Men = The X-Men
Zsorge/Barr-Barah Booosh = George/Barbara Bush
Ilary/Beel Cleentonn = Hillary/Bill Clinton
Meet Rohmnay = Mitt Romney
Beep-Beep (actually spelled "Bip-Bip" in French) = Road Runner
Mee-kay = Mickey Mouse
Kees Reechars = Keith Richards
Meek Jaggere = Mick Jagger
Bub Deelahn = Bob Dylan
Justeen Teembearlake = Justin Timberlake
Orrrr-Aaay = Jorge (not a celebrity or anything, but the name of this Mexican guy who married this French girl I know. I only met him once at a wedding of this other couple, and I was all, "Hey, what's your name?" and he was like, "Zsorge" and I was like, "Cool, where are you from?" and he said, "Mexico" and I went, "Oh! So, is your name really Jorge?" and he said, "Yes, but French people can't pronounce my name." Then these French people standing near us overheard and they asked in alarm, "How do you pronounce your name????" Then they tried saying "Jorge" for 15 minutes before they gave up).
**Edit:
Estair = Hester (from The Scarlet Letter). I just remembered when I was a student in Paris and I watched part of The Scarlet Letter on TV and I was really confused for about 20 minutes. I hadn't read the book since high school and then they kept referring to Demi Moore as Estair. I was all confused, like, "I don't remember any Esther in the book....let alone as the main character, which Demi Moore must surely be..." Then when the movie was over I was like, "Ohhhh! Hester Prynne!!!!"
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