HAHAHAHAHA
I read an article this morning in the New York Times about how Sarkozy walked out on a 60 Minutes interview after the journalist started asking him questions about his divorce.
I found the clip on YouTube: click here
I'm telling you, the guy is like, totally on cocaine or something. He's all twitchy, hyperexcited, and he keeps sniffing and rubbing his nose. I mean, I'd say maybe he had an allergy, but as we all know, allergies are very rare medical conditions and most French people don't have them. (Insert sarcasm here).
Monday, October 29, 2007
Efficiency...and Macs
So, as I said in a recent post, the H and I had gone on October 19th to the U.S. Consulate to start the process for an immigrant visa.
I distinctly remember, as we were winding up our mini-interview, that the woman said, "Your I-130 has been approved. You should be receiving a packet with the second part of the process, which will contain a list of documents you need (the documents are not very complicated) and instructions on how to set up the official interview. You should be receiving it in about 3 months."
So this Saturday, as I was struggling to put the garbage bag and the recycling bag outside the front door of our apartment (as we were leaving to go to the FNAC and this way we would remember to take it all downstairs) I was surprised and ecstatic to see an envelope on our door mat with "The United States of America" marked on the return address.
I picked up the envelope (which is great: the return address part says, "THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA" and then, right below: "Official Business". To the right it says "AN EQUAL OPPORTUNITY EMPLOYER" - it's like "Don't mess with U.S. Official Business, oh, and by the way, we do not discriminate."), gave it to the H and watched with excitement as he tore open the envelope.
Inside, we found a letter with his case number and the date our application was filed, along with another letter with a list of documents we needed, plus the DS-2001, which is a "Notification of Applicant Readiness". So, basically, it was the second packet - but the letter was dated "October 23" which means that instead of the 3 month wait, it took all of 3 days! The H and I mulled over it for awhile - maybe it was just one part of the second packet? I read the letters very carefully, and it seems to me that it is indeed the second packet. Plus, the U.S. Consulate was very considerate - one of the documents that we need is the H's police record, and they even included a form from the Préfecture that tells us how to apply for one, along with the actual application form. The H was astounded that the U.S. Consulate would even bother with that, saying, "Well, in France, they would not do that at all! They would say, "this is what you need, and you figure out how to get it all yourself. And don't call us because we are too busy to help you!"
Anyway the whole mystery of why the second part arrived after 3 days instead of 3 months is one that we still haven't been able to solve. I even called my mom to tell her, and all she said was, "Well, I wouldn't worry about it. So it arrived really early. All the better!"
In other news, my lovely Mac G4 Powerbook is so about to die. The screen part is totally breaking away from the rest of the computer; every time I open or close my computer, the screws in the back go awry and a little bit more of the casing starts to break. Granted, my computer is pretty much outdated (I'm on OS 10.3.9 and the computer was purchased in 2003 or 2004, I can't remember) but I really like my computer. I was all panicked, telling the H "we MUST go and get this fixed RIGHT AWAY" and he said, "What's the point? I know you are going to want to get a new computer in a few months anyway, and 10.5 has come out, so why don't you just not close the computer for now, and when we go to New York for Christmas, maybe you could get a MacBook?" This sounds like a great plan though I originally wanted the MacBook Pro because it is 15 inches and is more or less just like my Powerbook, but then I realized that computers pretty much last about 3-4 years maximum anyway so I might as well just get the MacBook which is way cheaper. Though, the annoying part is that this weekend I bought a new computer case (a 15 inch one!) and this cool iSkin keyboard protector thingy that only fits on a Powerbook G4 or a MacBookPro. Not to mention that the iSkin thingy was like, 30 euros. I guess it's not too big a deal if my new computer case is bigger than my new MacBook will be, but it's still all very irritating.
Oh, well. The nice part is that I can buy my computer in December (MUST have a QWERTY keyboard! I hate how you have to press shift to put in a period on the French AZERTY keyboards), and it will be totally cheap compared to here in France - my SIL bought the cheapest MacBook at 1000 euros, but I really want the black one, customized with a larger hard drive for $100, which means that I can get a top of the line MacBook for only 1000 euros instead of 1600. This is the only good thing about the USD-Euro exchange rate. When I last checked the price of my plane tickets, $900 was approximately 620 euros.
I distinctly remember, as we were winding up our mini-interview, that the woman said, "Your I-130 has been approved. You should be receiving a packet with the second part of the process, which will contain a list of documents you need (the documents are not very complicated) and instructions on how to set up the official interview. You should be receiving it in about 3 months."
So this Saturday, as I was struggling to put the garbage bag and the recycling bag outside the front door of our apartment (as we were leaving to go to the FNAC and this way we would remember to take it all downstairs) I was surprised and ecstatic to see an envelope on our door mat with "The United States of America" marked on the return address.
I picked up the envelope (which is great: the return address part says, "THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA" and then, right below: "Official Business". To the right it says "AN EQUAL OPPORTUNITY EMPLOYER" - it's like "Don't mess with U.S. Official Business, oh, and by the way, we do not discriminate."), gave it to the H and watched with excitement as he tore open the envelope.
Inside, we found a letter with his case number and the date our application was filed, along with another letter with a list of documents we needed, plus the DS-2001, which is a "Notification of Applicant Readiness". So, basically, it was the second packet - but the letter was dated "October 23" which means that instead of the 3 month wait, it took all of 3 days! The H and I mulled over it for awhile - maybe it was just one part of the second packet? I read the letters very carefully, and it seems to me that it is indeed the second packet. Plus, the U.S. Consulate was very considerate - one of the documents that we need is the H's police record, and they even included a form from the Préfecture that tells us how to apply for one, along with the actual application form. The H was astounded that the U.S. Consulate would even bother with that, saying, "Well, in France, they would not do that at all! They would say, "this is what you need, and you figure out how to get it all yourself. And don't call us because we are too busy to help you!"
Anyway the whole mystery of why the second part arrived after 3 days instead of 3 months is one that we still haven't been able to solve. I even called my mom to tell her, and all she said was, "Well, I wouldn't worry about it. So it arrived really early. All the better!"
In other news, my lovely Mac G4 Powerbook is so about to die. The screen part is totally breaking away from the rest of the computer; every time I open or close my computer, the screws in the back go awry and a little bit more of the casing starts to break. Granted, my computer is pretty much outdated (I'm on OS 10.3.9 and the computer was purchased in 2003 or 2004, I can't remember) but I really like my computer. I was all panicked, telling the H "we MUST go and get this fixed RIGHT AWAY" and he said, "What's the point? I know you are going to want to get a new computer in a few months anyway, and 10.5 has come out, so why don't you just not close the computer for now, and when we go to New York for Christmas, maybe you could get a MacBook?" This sounds like a great plan though I originally wanted the MacBook Pro because it is 15 inches and is more or less just like my Powerbook, but then I realized that computers pretty much last about 3-4 years maximum anyway so I might as well just get the MacBook which is way cheaper. Though, the annoying part is that this weekend I bought a new computer case (a 15 inch one!) and this cool iSkin keyboard protector thingy that only fits on a Powerbook G4 or a MacBookPro. Not to mention that the iSkin thingy was like, 30 euros. I guess it's not too big a deal if my new computer case is bigger than my new MacBook will be, but it's still all very irritating.
Oh, well. The nice part is that I can buy my computer in December (MUST have a QWERTY keyboard! I hate how you have to press shift to put in a period on the French AZERTY keyboards), and it will be totally cheap compared to here in France - my SIL bought the cheapest MacBook at 1000 euros, but I really want the black one, customized with a larger hard drive for $100, which means that I can get a top of the line MacBook for only 1000 euros instead of 1600. This is the only good thing about the USD-Euro exchange rate. When I last checked the price of my plane tickets, $900 was approximately 620 euros.
Friday, October 26, 2007
Oh, the pain....
Okay, is it just me, or is the second season of Heroes shaping up to be quite a disappointment?
I mean, it just seems to have lost some of its oooomph.
That whole Claire/West story is really annoying, and after watching the latest episode online yesterday, I'm wondering why they even put in the Hiro/Kensei scenes! And what is up with the Hot Twins? That story just keeps lagging too! It's like, "Just get to the U.S., already!!!!"
On another topic, I went and got a haircut yesterday. I figured I'd try out the Jean-Louis David downstairs from my apartment. I was not happy at all. I think she cut my hair way too short. Plus, the cut ended up being quite pricey - I forget that here in France, they charge you for a "brushing" (when they blow dry out your hair with that giant roll brush thingy). I realized it after she started doing the "brushing" that I was going to be charged for it (not to mention the brushing did not do any wonders for my too-short haircut) but I didn't know if I should screech "STOP! STOP IT NOW!!" But still, I specifically told the hairdresser that my hair is supposed to be long and layered in the front and short in the back. I even pointed out a picture that resembles my usual haircut, but it does NOT look anything like it should. (My hair is usually at chin level in the front and really short in the back - but she lopped off the front part of my hair at about ear level). There was that awful sinking feeling when I realized she messed up - though it was hard to tell at first, cause she took the front part of my hair, pulled it up so it was horizontal, and then SNIP. When she let go of my hair, that was when I noticed that it fell only to ear level! But by then it was obviously too late since she had to cut the other side of my hair to be even.
I should really look on the bright side of things. I mean, this is like, the first time in 10 years that I have a haircut that I don't like - that's a lot of good haircuts, so you know, I was obviously bound to get stuck with a bad one. Plus, now I am all androgynous looking, which could be fun when I wear the leather jacket I inherited from my FIL. I mean, it's like I've got the vintage leather jacket, the scrawny man-body, and a haircut that will now keep people guessing about my gender. The only thing that's missing is some ck One perfume.
Oh, well. At least it will grow out soon.
I mean, it just seems to have lost some of its oooomph.
That whole Claire/West story is really annoying, and after watching the latest episode online yesterday, I'm wondering why they even put in the Hiro/Kensei scenes! And what is up with the Hot Twins? That story just keeps lagging too! It's like, "Just get to the U.S., already!!!!"
On another topic, I went and got a haircut yesterday. I figured I'd try out the Jean-Louis David downstairs from my apartment. I was not happy at all. I think she cut my hair way too short. Plus, the cut ended up being quite pricey - I forget that here in France, they charge you for a "brushing" (when they blow dry out your hair with that giant roll brush thingy). I realized it after she started doing the "brushing" that I was going to be charged for it (not to mention the brushing did not do any wonders for my too-short haircut) but I didn't know if I should screech "STOP! STOP IT NOW!!" But still, I specifically told the hairdresser that my hair is supposed to be long and layered in the front and short in the back. I even pointed out a picture that resembles my usual haircut, but it does NOT look anything like it should. (My hair is usually at chin level in the front and really short in the back - but she lopped off the front part of my hair at about ear level). There was that awful sinking feeling when I realized she messed up - though it was hard to tell at first, cause she took the front part of my hair, pulled it up so it was horizontal, and then SNIP. When she let go of my hair, that was when I noticed that it fell only to ear level! But by then it was obviously too late since she had to cut the other side of my hair to be even.
I should really look on the bright side of things. I mean, this is like, the first time in 10 years that I have a haircut that I don't like - that's a lot of good haircuts, so you know, I was obviously bound to get stuck with a bad one. Plus, now I am all androgynous looking, which could be fun when I wear the leather jacket I inherited from my FIL. I mean, it's like I've got the vintage leather jacket, the scrawny man-body, and a haircut that will now keep people guessing about my gender. The only thing that's missing is some ck One perfume.
Oh, well. At least it will grow out soon.
Wednesday, October 24, 2007
Nice Fonctionnaires
Last Friday, the H and I finally made our way over to the U.S. Consulate to start the process for his green card.
The U.S. Consulate here in Paris allows certain people to apply for a green card - basically, you have to be a U.S. citizen who resides in France with a carte de séjour - BUT - not a student carte de séjour. They only process the immigrant visas on Friday mornings.
I had read on various forums that one is supposed to arrive at the U.S. Consulate super early - like, at 7 a.m. since the cut-off time for immigrant visas is at 10 a.m. and they only take the first 10 people or so. Given the strike, we ended up grabbing a cab at that early hour and were the first in line at the Consulate - it hadn't even opened yet! Within 5 minutes of our arrival, 6 other people showed up too.
Anyway, then we went through the security check (everyone was super nice) and then we were the first to grab a number at the kiosk. It was quite chilly inside, and then we had to wait until 9 a.m. when they called our number. (The other people who showed up after us were all there for temporary short-term visas to the U.S. - the vast majority were journalists and a few flight attendants). The H and I realized that we probably could have saved ourselves a few hours of sleep and come in a few hours later; as it turned out, there were very few people there for an immigrant visa. (Though we noticed the security guards did not seem at all surprised that we were there so early, so we wondered if maybe it was because of the strike - all immigrant visas go via the Paris Consulate, so this means that people in the South of France and even Monaco, for example, must make the trek all the way to Paris).
All of the "fonctionnaires" at the U.S. Consulate were super friendly, smiley, and very nice (even the French people who process the short term visas were really nice to everyone). Our fonctionnaire went through our papers, though she did not ask to see my carte de séjour, saying that she believed me that I was a legal resident in France. We did not fill out the DS-230 form, though this was because 1) on the USCIS website, they say the DS-230 is part of the 2nd packet; and 2) the DS-230 form on the U.S. Consulate website says that it expired on 7/31/2007. I explained all this to the woman who smiled and said, "Oh my goodness, you are too smart for us!" Then she went on to explain that the DS-230 being part of the first packet is a particularity for the U.S. Consulate in Paris, and it didn't matter about the expiration date, so we could just fill out right then and there. I also hadn't brought photos of myself, so she sent the H off to fill out his form, and me to take pictures and pay the whopping $355 fee for the visa application, though she firmly told us to "come right back to me when you are done, even if I am dealing with other people, you just skip ahead, you hear?"
There was a minor fiasco with the credit card machines not working, so we had to leave the consulate and withdraw cash to pay for the visa (a whopping 284 euros). We came back (it was all very hassle-free, as the security guards remembered us from earlier in the morning, and waved us through with a big smile, and said, "It's okay, you can skip ahead, I remember you guys!"), paid and submitted all the other missing forms, and then were told to take a seat, as we would be called for an interview. The interview consisted of an American woman who asked us a couple of questions in English, like "How did you two meet?", "When was that?", "When did you get married?" (and then "Congratulations!!!" when we told her it was in July), and "Why do you want to go back to the U.S.?" That was pretty much the extent of her questions, and then she told us, "Well, your I-130 has been approved, we will send this over to the U.S., and you should be receiving the second packet sometime in the next 3-4 months."
It was all very exciting and extremely efficient - we were out of there by 10 a.m. The H was marveling over the entire experience - "Wow, everyone was SO, SO nice! Everyone smiles at you, and no one yells at you! And they didn't tell us to come back next week with all the missing stuff! It was so fast! It took just an hour for the whole thing! And the waiting room is really, really nice and high-tech!"
I was feeling all smug about the whole thing, because I remember once mentioning to the in-laws that I was outraged over the way the French fonctionnaires treat people, how unpleasant they are to everyone, and how slow everything goes at the Préfecture, not to mention that I'm pretty sure that half the time, the fonctionnaires just randomly make up a list in their heads of the documents you need without even knowing if they exist. The MIL had responded rather defensively, "Oh, yeah? Well, EVERYONE KNOWS that American fonctionnaires are SO MUCH WORSE, and they are actually REALLY MEAN to EVERYONE." I had considered asking her at the time "And you would know this because...?" but realized that would be rude, so I had only said, "See, I don't think that's really the case, because I've never had a bad experience with the American authorities" and she said, "Well, maybe this is because you are American, because EVERYONE knows that Americans are REALLY MEAN, I mean they are barbaric and everything," which left me very perplexed as to who "EVERYONE" was. At least now that the H has been through it himself, I can subtly rub it in to the MIL that American fonctionnaires are actually very nice and smiley people. HA HA HA!
BTW, on a side note, the day the strikes started (last Thursday) also happened to be the day that Sarkozy announced his divorce from Cecilia. The Socialists claim he did it on purpose, in order to steal the thunder from the strikes, and I can't say I disagree. However, I also think no one really cared about the divorce - I mean, it was inevitable what with Cecilia looking all miserable every time, and I can't say I blame her - I would be miserable too, if I were married to a power-hungry, ass-licking gnome who probably snorts massive lines of cocaine and is getting his groove on with his Minister of Justice.
The U.S. Consulate here in Paris allows certain people to apply for a green card - basically, you have to be a U.S. citizen who resides in France with a carte de séjour - BUT - not a student carte de séjour. They only process the immigrant visas on Friday mornings.
I had read on various forums that one is supposed to arrive at the U.S. Consulate super early - like, at 7 a.m. since the cut-off time for immigrant visas is at 10 a.m. and they only take the first 10 people or so. Given the strike, we ended up grabbing a cab at that early hour and were the first in line at the Consulate - it hadn't even opened yet! Within 5 minutes of our arrival, 6 other people showed up too.
Anyway, then we went through the security check (everyone was super nice) and then we were the first to grab a number at the kiosk. It was quite chilly inside, and then we had to wait until 9 a.m. when they called our number. (The other people who showed up after us were all there for temporary short-term visas to the U.S. - the vast majority were journalists and a few flight attendants). The H and I realized that we probably could have saved ourselves a few hours of sleep and come in a few hours later; as it turned out, there were very few people there for an immigrant visa. (Though we noticed the security guards did not seem at all surprised that we were there so early, so we wondered if maybe it was because of the strike - all immigrant visas go via the Paris Consulate, so this means that people in the South of France and even Monaco, for example, must make the trek all the way to Paris).
All of the "fonctionnaires" at the U.S. Consulate were super friendly, smiley, and very nice (even the French people who process the short term visas were really nice to everyone). Our fonctionnaire went through our papers, though she did not ask to see my carte de séjour, saying that she believed me that I was a legal resident in France. We did not fill out the DS-230 form, though this was because 1) on the USCIS website, they say the DS-230 is part of the 2nd packet; and 2) the DS-230 form on the U.S. Consulate website says that it expired on 7/31/2007. I explained all this to the woman who smiled and said, "Oh my goodness, you are too smart for us!" Then she went on to explain that the DS-230 being part of the first packet is a particularity for the U.S. Consulate in Paris, and it didn't matter about the expiration date, so we could just fill out right then and there. I also hadn't brought photos of myself, so she sent the H off to fill out his form, and me to take pictures and pay the whopping $355 fee for the visa application, though she firmly told us to "come right back to me when you are done, even if I am dealing with other people, you just skip ahead, you hear?"
There was a minor fiasco with the credit card machines not working, so we had to leave the consulate and withdraw cash to pay for the visa (a whopping 284 euros). We came back (it was all very hassle-free, as the security guards remembered us from earlier in the morning, and waved us through with a big smile, and said, "It's okay, you can skip ahead, I remember you guys!"), paid and submitted all the other missing forms, and then were told to take a seat, as we would be called for an interview. The interview consisted of an American woman who asked us a couple of questions in English, like "How did you two meet?", "When was that?", "When did you get married?" (and then "Congratulations!!!" when we told her it was in July), and "Why do you want to go back to the U.S.?" That was pretty much the extent of her questions, and then she told us, "Well, your I-130 has been approved, we will send this over to the U.S., and you should be receiving the second packet sometime in the next 3-4 months."
It was all very exciting and extremely efficient - we were out of there by 10 a.m. The H was marveling over the entire experience - "Wow, everyone was SO, SO nice! Everyone smiles at you, and no one yells at you! And they didn't tell us to come back next week with all the missing stuff! It was so fast! It took just an hour for the whole thing! And the waiting room is really, really nice and high-tech!"
I was feeling all smug about the whole thing, because I remember once mentioning to the in-laws that I was outraged over the way the French fonctionnaires treat people, how unpleasant they are to everyone, and how slow everything goes at the Préfecture, not to mention that I'm pretty sure that half the time, the fonctionnaires just randomly make up a list in their heads of the documents you need without even knowing if they exist. The MIL had responded rather defensively, "Oh, yeah? Well, EVERYONE KNOWS that American fonctionnaires are SO MUCH WORSE, and they are actually REALLY MEAN to EVERYONE." I had considered asking her at the time "And you would know this because...?" but realized that would be rude, so I had only said, "See, I don't think that's really the case, because I've never had a bad experience with the American authorities" and she said, "Well, maybe this is because you are American, because EVERYONE knows that Americans are REALLY MEAN, I mean they are barbaric and everything," which left me very perplexed as to who "EVERYONE" was. At least now that the H has been through it himself, I can subtly rub it in to the MIL that American fonctionnaires are actually very nice and smiley people. HA HA HA!
BTW, on a side note, the day the strikes started (last Thursday) also happened to be the day that Sarkozy announced his divorce from Cecilia. The Socialists claim he did it on purpose, in order to steal the thunder from the strikes, and I can't say I disagree. However, I also think no one really cared about the divorce - I mean, it was inevitable what with Cecilia looking all miserable every time, and I can't say I blame her - I would be miserable too, if I were married to a power-hungry, ass-licking gnome who probably snorts massive lines of cocaine and is getting his groove on with his Minister of Justice.
Wednesday, October 17, 2007
National Strike
Tomorrow, October 18th, there will be a national strike here in France.
Strikes happen a lot here, but they tend to be separated. Like you might have a strike from the post office one day, and maybe 2 weeks later, there will be a subway worker's strike, and then in December you'll have the airline workers strike.
This is a big thing since it's a national strike, so all transportation in the country will more or less be shut down.
Stores and museums are already planning ahead for this, putting up signs on the front doors earlier this week stating that they would be closed on Thursday.
Everyone is really mad about Sarkozy's pension reform plan, so they have decided in typical French fashion to show their discontent with the strike. (Full article here)
I am not surprised at all. While I think it's nice that Sarkozy has all these plans to change France (and believe me, the French are way behind the times), I think it was so obvious back during the elections that they weren't going to take kindly to his confounded modern ideas (despite the fact that they all voted for him).
The most important thing to know about the French is that they really do not like change. I mean, you'd think Sarkozy would know that. The French just love to grumble about things and they like to say that things should change, but when it comes time to actually change, they resist full-force.
I don't know, it's like the French are still traumatized from the Revolution, when they cut off the heads of the royal family. Like they're really proud of themselves for having done it, but at the same time, it was so crazy and scary that they can't deal with any other kind of change whatsoever, and they prefer to live in a false reality where they still think:
1) France Is A Major World Power, A Total Mover-and-Shaker On the World Stage;
2) France Is The Richest Country In The World And Manipulates All Other Countries As Though She Were The Master Puppeteer;
3) France Totally Won World War II By Herself But Got Screwed Over By Those Nasty English Speaking Barbarians;
4) Who Imposed The Marshall Plan On Them, This Horrible Policy Where France Was Forced At Gunpoint To Import Coca-Cola And Build Lots of McDonalds That No One Likes.
I think France needs to take it all like a man - and that means going back to work! Some of us have things to do tomorrow, you know.
Update/Edit: Argh! I just read in Le Figaro that the strikers say that if their demands aren't met, the strike might last into the weekend! Hello! Some of us have to take the train to visit their in-laws, and while we might not be thrilled about seeing them, we were looking forward to eating a raclette!!!!
I mean, seriously, strikes really don't accomplish anything except make everyone hate you. And it's not like the strike is going to affect anyone in the government - it's not like they take public transportation, and I highly doubt that their personal chauffeurs are going to go on strike too. And come on, do people really think that the high government people get their mail via the post office? They probably use inter-governmental/diplomatic pouches, so they get their mail, like, every 15 minutes.
Strikes happen a lot here, but they tend to be separated. Like you might have a strike from the post office one day, and maybe 2 weeks later, there will be a subway worker's strike, and then in December you'll have the airline workers strike.
This is a big thing since it's a national strike, so all transportation in the country will more or less be shut down.
Stores and museums are already planning ahead for this, putting up signs on the front doors earlier this week stating that they would be closed on Thursday.
Everyone is really mad about Sarkozy's pension reform plan, so they have decided in typical French fashion to show their discontent with the strike. (Full article here)
I am not surprised at all. While I think it's nice that Sarkozy has all these plans to change France (and believe me, the French are way behind the times), I think it was so obvious back during the elections that they weren't going to take kindly to his confounded modern ideas (despite the fact that they all voted for him).
The most important thing to know about the French is that they really do not like change. I mean, you'd think Sarkozy would know that. The French just love to grumble about things and they like to say that things should change, but when it comes time to actually change, they resist full-force.
I don't know, it's like the French are still traumatized from the Revolution, when they cut off the heads of the royal family. Like they're really proud of themselves for having done it, but at the same time, it was so crazy and scary that they can't deal with any other kind of change whatsoever, and they prefer to live in a false reality where they still think:
1) France Is A Major World Power, A Total Mover-and-Shaker On the World Stage;
2) France Is The Richest Country In The World And Manipulates All Other Countries As Though She Were The Master Puppeteer;
3) France Totally Won World War II By Herself But Got Screwed Over By Those Nasty English Speaking Barbarians;
4) Who Imposed The Marshall Plan On Them, This Horrible Policy Where France Was Forced At Gunpoint To Import Coca-Cola And Build Lots of McDonalds That No One Likes.
I think France needs to take it all like a man - and that means going back to work! Some of us have things to do tomorrow, you know.
Update/Edit: Argh! I just read in Le Figaro that the strikers say that if their demands aren't met, the strike might last into the weekend! Hello! Some of us have to take the train to visit their in-laws, and while we might not be thrilled about seeing them, we were looking forward to eating a raclette!!!!
I mean, seriously, strikes really don't accomplish anything except make everyone hate you. And it's not like the strike is going to affect anyone in the government - it's not like they take public transportation, and I highly doubt that their personal chauffeurs are going to go on strike too. And come on, do people really think that the high government people get their mail via the post office? They probably use inter-governmental/diplomatic pouches, so they get their mail, like, every 15 minutes.
Tuesday, October 16, 2007
England, France, and the Cro-Magnon
This past weekend, England and France battled it out for a spot in the Rugby World Cup Final.
I was really excited about it (well, maybe excited is stretching it a little; I admit I am not a fan of team sports) and I was totally rooting for England.
Those who know me know that I just love, love, love history, and my two most favorite time periods are World War II and Tudor England.
I recently finished reading Antonia Fraser's "The Six Wives of Henry VIII", and I would giggle to myself throughout the book because even back then, England and France had been "natural enemies", seemingly since the beginning of time. However, there were fleeting moments when England and France were allies, mostly because England was stuck between France and Scotland, who had a strong alliance since The Beginning of Time, so if the English befriended the French, then they wouldn't have too much trouble with the Scots up North. As always, a very important game people played back then was Marrying Your Children Off To People To Create An Alliance. And it was certainly a hard game to play back then, since it was very important to create the Right One. It would leave Henry VIII in a bit of a quandary, and he was all, "Hmmm, well, we could marry the Princess Mary to the Dauphin of France, and then we would create peace between England, France, and Scotland...BUT...France IS our natural enemy, so maybe it would be better to marry the Princess Mary off to Spain or Germany, because then we would have an ally AGAINST the French...oh dear, what to do?"
So I was all excited for the England-France showdown because in my weird mind, it was just an extension of the whole England and France being natural enemies. It was like a modern version of the Field of Cloth of Gold, when England and France made a big show of being allies, and then Henry VIII and Francis I would have these little "friendly" jousting tournaments (which Henry VIII usually won, given that he was probably about the same size and stature of a modern rugby player).
Anyway, I was really psyched that England won, though it was awfully nerve-wracking since France had been leading by 1 point throughout the entire game, until England scored 2 goals in the last 10 minutes.
The H had to put up with me screaming at the beginning of the match "Come on, England!!! CRUSH THEM!! CRUSH THE FRENCH!!!" "You know," he said calmly, "France might win because in the second half, we will unleash our secret weapon: Sébastien Chabal." "Oh, the Cro-Magnon?" I said.
For those who do not live in France and thus are not force-fed rugby and Chabal until your head bursts, Sébastien Chabal is a Very Important rugby player for the French team. I have always fondly referred to him as "The Cro-Magnon". This is because Mr. Chabal does, indeed, look very much like one. He is quite "costaud" (or, as I like to translate it in English, "Big and Beefy") and has long straight dark hair that he always wears loose during games (which I think is actually a liability, because, you know, someone could always accidentally step on his long hair when the players all pile on top of each other, and then Chabal would have a big hole where his hair should be - plus it must be quite painful). The Cro-Magnon generally has a big scowl on his face and recently, when he was interviewed by foreign journalists here in France, he refused to speak English, saying that he was French, and in France, and basically, tough shizzle to those foreigners who did not speak French. It is pretty rare to see the Cro-Magnon smile; I suppose he needs to keep up that Cave Man Glare in an effort to intimidate his adversaries.
So when France lost, it was quite a surprise to see the Cro-Magnon cry:
That was when I was all, "Oh, my gosh! The Cro-Magnon has feelings! The Cro-Magnon is a very sensitive person with emotions!" And yes, Cro-Magnon literally sat down in the middle of the field, put his head in his hands, and cried like a baby. It was almost touching, and maybe a little bit creepy.
I was really excited about it (well, maybe excited is stretching it a little; I admit I am not a fan of team sports) and I was totally rooting for England.
Those who know me know that I just love, love, love history, and my two most favorite time periods are World War II and Tudor England.
I recently finished reading Antonia Fraser's "The Six Wives of Henry VIII", and I would giggle to myself throughout the book because even back then, England and France had been "natural enemies", seemingly since the beginning of time. However, there were fleeting moments when England and France were allies, mostly because England was stuck between France and Scotland, who had a strong alliance since The Beginning of Time, so if the English befriended the French, then they wouldn't have too much trouble with the Scots up North. As always, a very important game people played back then was Marrying Your Children Off To People To Create An Alliance. And it was certainly a hard game to play back then, since it was very important to create the Right One. It would leave Henry VIII in a bit of a quandary, and he was all, "Hmmm, well, we could marry the Princess Mary to the Dauphin of France, and then we would create peace between England, France, and Scotland...BUT...France IS our natural enemy, so maybe it would be better to marry the Princess Mary off to Spain or Germany, because then we would have an ally AGAINST the French...oh dear, what to do?"
So I was all excited for the England-France showdown because in my weird mind, it was just an extension of the whole England and France being natural enemies. It was like a modern version of the Field of Cloth of Gold, when England and France made a big show of being allies, and then Henry VIII and Francis I would have these little "friendly" jousting tournaments (which Henry VIII usually won, given that he was probably about the same size and stature of a modern rugby player).
Anyway, I was really psyched that England won, though it was awfully nerve-wracking since France had been leading by 1 point throughout the entire game, until England scored 2 goals in the last 10 minutes.
The H had to put up with me screaming at the beginning of the match "Come on, England!!! CRUSH THEM!! CRUSH THE FRENCH!!!" "You know," he said calmly, "France might win because in the second half, we will unleash our secret weapon: Sébastien Chabal." "Oh, the Cro-Magnon?" I said.
For those who do not live in France and thus are not force-fed rugby and Chabal until your head bursts, Sébastien Chabal is a Very Important rugby player for the French team. I have always fondly referred to him as "The Cro-Magnon". This is because Mr. Chabal does, indeed, look very much like one. He is quite "costaud" (or, as I like to translate it in English, "Big and Beefy") and has long straight dark hair that he always wears loose during games (which I think is actually a liability, because, you know, someone could always accidentally step on his long hair when the players all pile on top of each other, and then Chabal would have a big hole where his hair should be - plus it must be quite painful). The Cro-Magnon generally has a big scowl on his face and recently, when he was interviewed by foreign journalists here in France, he refused to speak English, saying that he was French, and in France, and basically, tough shizzle to those foreigners who did not speak French. It is pretty rare to see the Cro-Magnon smile; I suppose he needs to keep up that Cave Man Glare in an effort to intimidate his adversaries.
So when France lost, it was quite a surprise to see the Cro-Magnon cry:
That was when I was all, "Oh, my gosh! The Cro-Magnon has feelings! The Cro-Magnon is a very sensitive person with emotions!" And yes, Cro-Magnon literally sat down in the middle of the field, put his head in his hands, and cried like a baby. It was almost touching, and maybe a little bit creepy.
Friday, October 12, 2007
Reality TV
Ok, so I am going to come out of the closet and admit this embarrassing little secret I have.
I like to watch America's Next Top Model.
I know, I know, the shame!
No one has posted the latest episode of ANTM yet, so I have been going crazy because I want to see those makeovers! Everyone knows that a makeover episode is the best because that is when the melt-downs start.
Which got me thinking, isn't it mean and a little not normal to actually like watching bitchy girls diss each other all day?
I mean, once I had a conversation with my friend Raefer about reality shows. He was all, "A successful reality show can't be complicated - when there are all these rules and stuff, you have trouble following what's supposed to be going on. You need to keep it simple." And I interjected with, "Ah. I get you. Like America's Next Top Model. That's as simple as it gets." And Raefer said, "Oh yeah, see, now there aren't really any rules there. It's just a bunch of bitches tearing each other down." I said, "I know, isn't it great?"
But you see, I know for a fact that I am not the only one who gets immense pleasure watching whiny teenagers having meltdowns. Obviously lots and lots of people like it too, considering it's on its 9th season and I'm guessing it's still up there as far as ratings go.
But why do none of the eliminations make any sense? How come we never see any of the winners after ANTM? What is the deal with Tyra trying to be Oprah Winfrey? And more importantly, why on earth did Jaslene win last season?
I like to watch America's Next Top Model.
I know, I know, the shame!
No one has posted the latest episode of ANTM yet, so I have been going crazy because I want to see those makeovers! Everyone knows that a makeover episode is the best because that is when the melt-downs start.
Which got me thinking, isn't it mean and a little not normal to actually like watching bitchy girls diss each other all day?
I mean, once I had a conversation with my friend Raefer about reality shows. He was all, "A successful reality show can't be complicated - when there are all these rules and stuff, you have trouble following what's supposed to be going on. You need to keep it simple." And I interjected with, "Ah. I get you. Like America's Next Top Model. That's as simple as it gets." And Raefer said, "Oh yeah, see, now there aren't really any rules there. It's just a bunch of bitches tearing each other down." I said, "I know, isn't it great?"
But you see, I know for a fact that I am not the only one who gets immense pleasure watching whiny teenagers having meltdowns. Obviously lots and lots of people like it too, considering it's on its 9th season and I'm guessing it's still up there as far as ratings go.
But why do none of the eliminations make any sense? How come we never see any of the winners after ANTM? What is the deal with Tyra trying to be Oprah Winfrey? And more importantly, why on earth did Jaslene win last season?
Thursday, October 11, 2007
I Miss NYC
Today I happened to stop by La Vie Claire, which is this "bio" (organic) grocery store.
Seeing as I was in need of some gluten-free foods I stopped in and ended up buying a bunch of stuff and then paying for the plastic grocery bags as well, since I did not come prepared with my own shopping bag.
Anyway, there is also a fresh bakery in there, and I ended up spending way more time than I really needed to browsing all the aisles and everything. I mean, it just smelled SO GOOD - fresh baked bread, fresh baked pizzas, and all that stuff.
This has since given me this crazy craving for pizza which I cannot eat on account of the whole gluten intolerance thing.
Ugh, if only I was in NYC - I would hop in a cab and head down to Risotteria, which is only like, the BEST gluten-free restaurant in NYC...(and maybe even the WORLD). They make such delicious gluten free pizza that you even forget it's gluten-free. Plus the risotto there is just so.....good.....!
It's times like these when I find myself having embarrassing conversations in my head with my body. Something along the lines of:
Me: Oh, if only I could just have a taste of some delicious pizza....! I wonder if maybe this time I won't get sick?
Body: OH NO YOU DID NOT!!!!!!
Me: I mean, okay, so I get really sick afterwards, but maybe it would be worth it - the craving is driving me crazy!
Body: Hey, remember last time, when you "accidentally" ate something that had gluten in it? Remember how horrible you felt? I will make you feel TEN TIMES WORSE if do it again.
Isn't it funny how we just take some things for granted? I mean, if I had known that in my mid-20's I would have this whole gluten intolerance thing going on, I definitely would have eaten a lot pizza and bagels and real, normal pasta.
Damn you, gluten!
Seeing as I was in need of some gluten-free foods I stopped in and ended up buying a bunch of stuff and then paying for the plastic grocery bags as well, since I did not come prepared with my own shopping bag.
Anyway, there is also a fresh bakery in there, and I ended up spending way more time than I really needed to browsing all the aisles and everything. I mean, it just smelled SO GOOD - fresh baked bread, fresh baked pizzas, and all that stuff.
This has since given me this crazy craving for pizza which I cannot eat on account of the whole gluten intolerance thing.
Ugh, if only I was in NYC - I would hop in a cab and head down to Risotteria, which is only like, the BEST gluten-free restaurant in NYC...(and maybe even the WORLD). They make such delicious gluten free pizza that you even forget it's gluten-free. Plus the risotto there is just so.....good.....!
It's times like these when I find myself having embarrassing conversations in my head with my body. Something along the lines of:
Me: Oh, if only I could just have a taste of some delicious pizza....! I wonder if maybe this time I won't get sick?
Body: OH NO YOU DID NOT!!!!!!
Me: I mean, okay, so I get really sick afterwards, but maybe it would be worth it - the craving is driving me crazy!
Body: Hey, remember last time, when you "accidentally" ate something that had gluten in it? Remember how horrible you felt? I will make you feel TEN TIMES WORSE if do it again.
Isn't it funny how we just take some things for granted? I mean, if I had known that in my mid-20's I would have this whole gluten intolerance thing going on, I definitely would have eaten a lot pizza and bagels and real, normal pasta.
Damn you, gluten!
Monday, October 8, 2007
Les Nuits Blanches
Every year in France, they do this thing called "Les Nuits Blanches".
If I remember correctly, it is when the museums stay open until something like midnight, and it is either reduced admission or free to get in. As I remember it, it mostly consisted of standing in incredibly looooong lines at a time when you could totally be having a drink instead in a bar that probably wasn't too crowded since everyone was trying to get into a museum.
Anyway, this year, I did not go out for Les Nuits Blanches, but the H and I did hear on the news that four people broke into the Musée d'Orsay, smoked a cigarette, peed on the floor, and then vandalized a Monet painting by putting like a 4 inch slash mark in it.
The H was very upset, being French and all, but was mostly upset at how stupid it made France look. He said: "I hope this does not make it into the international press! It's like, these people broke into the museum to smoke, pee and rip up a Monet. And it was all caught on the security camera! Where was the security guard during all this?" To which I replied, "Well, you know, some people really just are not big fans of Monet paintings. Maybe the people who did it have some sort of beef with him. Like, maybe they think Monet is totally overrated? And the security guy was probably sleeping - I mean, it was pretty late. And this will most likely make it into the international press - the painting is pretty old and worth lots of money."
And indeed, I found the article in the New York Times this morning.
In sharp contrast to this embarrassing incident, the French miraculously beat the All Blacks from New Zealand in what I think are the quarter finals of the rugby world cup. I was pretty annoyed about it, mostly because before the game started, French TV spent an awful lot of time on it - what with following the French fans on their trips to Cardiff, and pointing out how the New Zealand team would for once not really be the "All Blacks" because they had to wear gray. This was followed by a lot of subtle gloating on the part of the French, where they mostly bragged about how they retained their right to wear blue (all French national teams seem to always be called "Les Bleues" because their uniforms are blue, but weirdly enough, the French soccer team always wears white, even though they are also called "Les Bleues"). There was also a lot of speculation by the French that the All Blacks would lose because they would be in gray, which would be a major distraction to them - possibly distracting enough that they would lose their concentration and the French would win. The H was feeling all torn up inside: "I am a huge fan of the All Blacks, but I feel like I am supposed to support the French team because I am French." I pointed out that he should support whomever it is he wants, but that we both knew that should the French win, no one in this country would EVER hear the end of it. I also pointed out that there was no reason for New Zealand to lose, and that was all a bunch of hooey about the uniform colors, since that is never really a factor when it comes to athletic ability.
Hmmmmph! Well, France won, even though it was only by a few points, if I recall correctly. And of course, we still have not heard an end to the gloating being done on TV, especially in the news, which has been dedicating the first 20 minutes to nothing but rugby. Oh, and of course, the omni-present Sarkozy was there too, and was all shouting and pumping his fist when France won, and hugging random people. (His face was also flushed a deep shade of red, which again confirms my suspicion that he is an avid drug-user).
I wonder if maybe the gray really did distract the All Blacks?
If I remember correctly, it is when the museums stay open until something like midnight, and it is either reduced admission or free to get in. As I remember it, it mostly consisted of standing in incredibly looooong lines at a time when you could totally be having a drink instead in a bar that probably wasn't too crowded since everyone was trying to get into a museum.
Anyway, this year, I did not go out for Les Nuits Blanches, but the H and I did hear on the news that four people broke into the Musée d'Orsay, smoked a cigarette, peed on the floor, and then vandalized a Monet painting by putting like a 4 inch slash mark in it.
The H was very upset, being French and all, but was mostly upset at how stupid it made France look. He said: "I hope this does not make it into the international press! It's like, these people broke into the museum to smoke, pee and rip up a Monet. And it was all caught on the security camera! Where was the security guard during all this?" To which I replied, "Well, you know, some people really just are not big fans of Monet paintings. Maybe the people who did it have some sort of beef with him. Like, maybe they think Monet is totally overrated? And the security guy was probably sleeping - I mean, it was pretty late. And this will most likely make it into the international press - the painting is pretty old and worth lots of money."
And indeed, I found the article in the New York Times this morning.
In sharp contrast to this embarrassing incident, the French miraculously beat the All Blacks from New Zealand in what I think are the quarter finals of the rugby world cup. I was pretty annoyed about it, mostly because before the game started, French TV spent an awful lot of time on it - what with following the French fans on their trips to Cardiff, and pointing out how the New Zealand team would for once not really be the "All Blacks" because they had to wear gray. This was followed by a lot of subtle gloating on the part of the French, where they mostly bragged about how they retained their right to wear blue (all French national teams seem to always be called "Les Bleues" because their uniforms are blue, but weirdly enough, the French soccer team always wears white, even though they are also called "Les Bleues"). There was also a lot of speculation by the French that the All Blacks would lose because they would be in gray, which would be a major distraction to them - possibly distracting enough that they would lose their concentration and the French would win. The H was feeling all torn up inside: "I am a huge fan of the All Blacks, but I feel like I am supposed to support the French team because I am French." I pointed out that he should support whomever it is he wants, but that we both knew that should the French win, no one in this country would EVER hear the end of it. I also pointed out that there was no reason for New Zealand to lose, and that was all a bunch of hooey about the uniform colors, since that is never really a factor when it comes to athletic ability.
Hmmmmph! Well, France won, even though it was only by a few points, if I recall correctly. And of course, we still have not heard an end to the gloating being done on TV, especially in the news, which has been dedicating the first 20 minutes to nothing but rugby. Oh, and of course, the omni-present Sarkozy was there too, and was all shouting and pumping his fist when France won, and hugging random people. (His face was also flushed a deep shade of red, which again confirms my suspicion that he is an avid drug-user).
I wonder if maybe the gray really did distract the All Blacks?
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