Wednesday, July 9, 2008

Le petit Nicolas

Oh, Nicolas Sarkozy. Le petit Nicolas. It's just been one blunder after another. I almost feel sorry for him (but not too much, because I really like to dislike him - and he makes it SOOOO easy). I mean, the minute he takes office, he goes off on vacation in the US, thus inviting himself over to a BBQ with Bush, then he more than doubles his salary. Then he does really embarrassing stuff like insulting civilian passerby at a fair, checking out an Israeli model's cleavage, marries a former supermodel now wannabe pop star, gets drunk with Putin and then makes a speech (while intoxicated), pocketed a MontBlanc pen at an EU summit, visits the Pope while accompanied by the most vulgar comedian in France and spends the entire visit texting people, and goes around firing and hiring people who work in the media as a way of showing off his power. Not to mention he is obviously forever being snubbed by other heads of state, as has been happening recently with the whole Olympics.

Alas, Sarkozy has suddenly decided to attend the Opening Ceremoy of the Olympics in Beijing. It's so obvious that he doesn't want to miss out on hobnobbing with other important heads of state - and that he wants to be there to stick his head even further up Bush's ass. I mean, it so obviously went something like this:

Sarkozy: (like, a year ago or something)....and I MAYBE will attend the Olympics, but ONLY IF China and Tibet start talks with each other and they can come to an agreement! Free Tibet! But I might just boycott the Olympics!
China: Who is that little man trying to impose himself in our affairs? Is he someone important? Do we even care if he comes for the Olympics?
Tibet: Um, actually, we don't want complete and total freedom, we just want some more autonomy.
China: Whatever. Shut up.

(Late last month/early this month):
Sarkozy: Hey, so I'm thinking that like, MAYBE I'll come to China after all, seeing as China and Tibet have decided to start talking.
China: Who IS that little guy? And what is that junk spewing out of his mouth? I mean, these discussions with Tibet have been scheduled since like, 2 years ago...
Tibet:..........
Sarkozy: Though, I do think China does need to improve their human rights record....
China: Ugh, whatever, Sarko! You're not even invited! Don't even bother coming! WE DON'T WANT YOU HERE.

(Last week)
Bush: Yeah, so I'm gonna head over to Beijing for the Olympics...mostly as a spectator. Ya know, to support the American athletes and all. Me and the wife are gonna head over. It'll be fun.

(Day after Bush's announcement)
Sarkozy: Hey everyone, guess what? I'm totally going to go to the Olympics TOO!!! Isn't that awesome??? I'll be bringing along my trophy wife, Carla Bruni, former supermodel. She's coming out with an album this month, so everyone should buy it! Oh, and yes, Carla will be wearing flats again. I have condemned her to a life without heels. I'm so excited for the Olympics! I'm gonna tell the Chinese president next week at the G8 summit. I'll bet he will be SOOOO psyched that I'm coming! Awwwww yeah!
China: No, seriously, who IS he? Who invited him??? Didn't we tell him not to come?
Bush: Dang, I was counting on a mini-vacation, enjoying myself, watchin' some sports! That's like that time Sarkozy invited himself over to a BBQ at my country house last summer. I mean, I am like, the most hated US president ever, I just want to try to enjoy the last few months I have left. Can't a guy catch a break?!

Wednesday, July 2, 2008

Benefits

Today I received my benefits and orientation packet from the Large Corporation. It is scary and exciting at the same time - scary because there are lots and lots of papers and forms to fill out, and exciting because I get lots and lots of benefits and this is really a big step in my life.

I admit, I do not think I will ever be passionate about bras, but I am quite tempted by all the perks of this job. This will be the first time in my life that I will have normal working hours - no crazy pre-fashion show hours (i.e. 9am - 2 am) - they have explained that I will get to go home every day no later than 6:30 pm. (On the other hand, I start much earlier than I have before - 9:30 am!) I have a REALLY good health insurance package, plus I get a 401k, life insurance, travel accident insurance, dental, and something about dismemberment (though I think this falls into travel accidents or something). The people on the team seem to be really very nice people, and I have been told, "There are no divas here; no people running and crying!" I mean, I realize that this is par for most jobs, but not where I have always worked.

So this will be a whole new interesting experience. Maybe I will love it, maybe I will hate it, but I am loving the feeling of freedom. I don't have to worry about staying here because there won't be any other positions open anywhere. And I don't have to worry about being pigeon-holed, as I would in France - people in New York actually LIKE it when you work in other areas.

Anyway, I'm hoping that maybe I can eventually volunteer at the ASPCA in the evenings - like maybe I can learn to walk dogs or something. We'll see how it goes.

I probably won't post very much this month, as I will be starting work next week. I probably also won't be writing very much about work - I'm already worried that I've written too much information, as I don't know what the company policy is on blogging (and believe me, I will NOT be asking - no one needs to know the real identity of Parisian New Yorker!)

Oh, and in another note, the in-laws can finally breathe a sigh of relief, in particular MIL, who was very stressed about the whole health insurance issue (the H can be covered under my plan as a beneficiary). Not to mention I had always claimed that it is much easier to find a job in the US, and within a week of my moving back to NY in March, they kept asking every other day, "So, where's your job? How come you haven't found your job yet? Huh? I thought it was so easy to find a job in the US?!" (the H is also guilty of doing this). Well, it may have taken a bit longer, but at least I had tons of interviews and people actually RESPONDED, plus I ended up with more different options (believe you me, I would never, ever have been offered an interview in anything other than womenswear in Paris).