Le petit Nicolas

Oh, Nicolas Sarkozy. Le petit Nicolas. It's just been one blunder after another. I almost feel sorry for him (but not too much, because I really like to dislike him - and he makes it SOOOO easy). I mean, the minute he takes office, he goes off on vacation in the US, thus inviting himself over to a BBQ with Bush, then he more than doubles his salary. Then he does really embarrassing stuff like insulting civilian passerby at a fair, checking out an Israeli model's cleavage, marries a former supermodel now wannabe pop star, gets drunk with Putin and then makes a speech (while intoxicated), pocketed a MontBlanc pen at an EU summit, visits the Pope while accompanied by the most vulgar comedian in France and spends the entire visit texting people, and goes around firing and hiring people who work in the media as a way of showing off his power. Not to mention he is obviously forever being snubbed by other heads of state, as has been happening recently with the whole Olympics.

Alas, Sarkozy has suddenly decided to attend the Opening Ceremoy of the Olympics in Beijing. It's so obvious that he doesn't want to miss out on hobnobbing with other important heads of state - and that he wants to be there to stick his head even further up Bush's ass. I mean, it so obviously went something like this:

Sarkozy: (like, a year ago or something)....and I MAYBE will attend the Olympics, but ONLY IF China and Tibet start talks with each other and they can come to an agreement! Free Tibet! But I might just boycott the Olympics!
China: Who is that little man trying to impose himself in our affairs? Is he someone important? Do we even care if he comes for the Olympics?
Tibet: Um, actually, we don't want complete and total freedom, we just want some more autonomy.
China: Whatever. Shut up.

(Late last month/early this month):
Sarkozy: Hey, so I'm thinking that like, MAYBE I'll come to China after all, seeing as China and Tibet have decided to start talking.
China: Who IS that little guy? And what is that junk spewing out of his mouth? I mean, these discussions with Tibet have been scheduled since like, 2 years ago...
Tibet:..........
Sarkozy: Though, I do think China does need to improve their human rights record....
China: Ugh, whatever, Sarko! You're not even invited! Don't even bother coming! WE DON'T WANT YOU HERE.

(Last week)
Bush: Yeah, so I'm gonna head over to Beijing for the Olympics...mostly as a spectator. Ya know, to support the American athletes and all. Me and the wife are gonna head over. It'll be fun.

(Day after Bush's announcement)
Sarkozy: Hey everyone, guess what? I'm totally going to go to the Olympics TOO!!! Isn't that awesome??? I'll be bringing along my trophy wife, Carla Bruni, former supermodel. She's coming out with an album this month, so everyone should buy it! Oh, and yes, Carla will be wearing flats again. I have condemned her to a life without heels. I'm so excited for the Olympics! I'm gonna tell the Chinese president next week at the G8 summit. I'll bet he will be SOOOO psyched that I'm coming! Awwwww yeah!
China: No, seriously, who IS he? Who invited him??? Didn't we tell him not to come?
Bush: Dang, I was counting on a mini-vacation, enjoying myself, watchin' some sports! That's like that time Sarkozy invited himself over to a BBQ at my country house last summer. I mean, I am like, the most hated US president ever, I just want to try to enjoy the last few months I have left. Can't a guy catch a break?!