Good Sports

One of the things that REALLY irritates me in France is when I watch sporting events on TV.

I always watch figure skating, having been myself a competitive figure skater for about 10 years of my childhood/adolescence.

What I really, really HATE about French TV are the commentators.

Who do they think they are? The worst of the worst has to be a certain Annick whatever, formerly Annick Gailhaguet, but now she's changed her name. That's Gailhaguet as in Didier, who was the former head of the French equivalent of the USFSA, and the one who rigged the Olympics that were in Salt Lake several years ago - this led to the overhaul of the ISU judging system and gave figure skating a bad name. Anyway, this Annick lady has got to be the rudest, most unknowledgeable figure skating commentator I have ever had the horror of hearing. All she spews is BS, but she says it all with this false air of authority and spends a lot of time pointing out that she is Brian Joubert's coach. Let me ask you, what kind of a real, SERIOUS figure skating coach spends her time commentating for TV instead of training of his/her pupil???

Anyway, this was not the main point of my rant, but rather that in all sporting events, the French commentators are always rude and trying to insult the competitors (not that they really care since they are usually busy concentrating on their event) but it's just the principle of it. And I really hate it when they interview French athletes (who have, about 98% of the time, just failed to either qualify or medal) as these French athletes always have some pathetic excuse as to why they lost.

Case in point: currently, the World Track & Field Championships is taking place in Osaka, Japan, and is being broadcast on French TV. I just watched the 4x400 men's relay qualifications, where the French got off to a terrible start and then in the last round, dropped the baton, so they totally did not qualify, finishing next to last. Nelson Montfort (like, the number 1 French sports commentator, though he really just interviews the athletes, since he is pretty much the only member of the French crew who can speak English) interviewed the 4 runners of the French relay team. They all had huge scowls on their faces, and then when Nelson said something like, "Wow, so you dropped the baton. That's tough luck. Blah blah blah" one of the French runners got all indignant and was all "That runner from the Dominican Republic banged into me and made me drop the baton!" Then we all watched the replay where they dropped the baton, but frankly, the Dominican runner did not touch him at all. The French runner was all, "Yeah, he touched my arm and then he did not stop to say sorry." Nelson was all, "Oh, well, maybe he did not realize that he touched your arm, so he didn't apologize". The French runner (nearly screaming) said, "Well, I FELT HIS ARM TOUCH ME AND HE DIDN'T APOLOGIZE!!!!!!! IT WAS HIS FAULT WE DIDN'T QUALIFY!!!!!" which led to a lot of embarrassment on the part of Nelson and the other French crew who were all, "Oh, well, mistakes happen, it's not a big deal".

The best part of the whole thing was that as the relay was starting, the commentators were all, "Yes, we have high hopes for our French relay team, and if a country has a really good relay team, then that means that in general, they are really good at all the track & field sports". Even the H thought that was weird, and then the poor French team finished next to last in the qualifying round and the H was all, "Well, I guess this means that France is not very good at any track & field area."

Oh, and let's not forget how France tries to sneak in a take any credit they can for anything - like last week, when a woman from New Zealand won the discus event - the first time, like, ever, for New Zealand. Apparently, this lovely lady was married to a Frenchman. Nelson was all, "Wow, this is a great day for New Zealand....AND for France!!!". The woman was all, "Huh? What?" and Nelson said, "Because you are married to a French person! So this is not only a great accomplishment for New Zealand, but also for FRANCE!" and the woman looked extremely perplexed and said, "Er...okay...?"

However, I really should not be surprised by such behavior on the part of French athletes and commentators, as the French are never supposed to admit guilt on their part - thus, unlike athletes from other countries, you will never have a French person who has just lost an event come up to the camera with a smile and say something like, "Yeah, well, today was disappointing, I wasn't up to par, but oh well, I'll just keep practicing and training and hope I do better next time." The best illustration of this example was earlier this year during the World Swimming Championships - one of the French male swimmers was up against the unbeatable Michael Phelps and when he (the French guy) totally came in near last place, he whined on French TV, "Well, I mean, how can I win when I have to swim against Michael Phelps? It's not fair - really it's not, because he never lets anyone else have a chance to win." I remember this because I said to the H, "Well, I hardly think the point of being an athlete is to let other people beat you in an event," and the H said, "Well, it's true that he always wins," and I said, "Yeah? Your point being? Do you think Laure Manaudou would be okay with letting other people beat her in a race?" and he was all, "Ah - I guess you're right."

Ha! Right now, France 2 is showing the 4x100 women's relay - which the Americans just won - and the commentators have been insisting that there was a problem with the passing of the baton (as in subtly implying that we cheated) but they just showed the replay in slow motion and the French commentators have grudgingly said, "Hmmm, it looks like a clean pass."