Air Travel

Ok. So I've managed to calm down somewhat after the horrendous AF experience I recently had. I've decided to face reality, which means that 1) I will most likely NOT be switching to another airline company because unfortunately, AF seems to have the monopoly on the NYC-CDG flights, with the most number of daily flights, so at some point or another for the rest of my life, I will most likely have to fly AF again; 2) I am not my dad, who, when he was alive, was flying 6 months out of the year for work, so he was totally inducted into the United Airlines equivalent of AF's "Club 2000" (an invite-only club for "VIP" passengers. If it's the same thing as the United version, it just means that when you get on the plane, the staff greets you by name, you get free upgrades whenever possible, you get to use the airport lounge whenever you travel, and when there is a delay or a problem, you have priority above all the other passengers. It's usually given out to celebrities, government officials, top tier executives, people who make travel arrangements in large companies, and people who fly often, always on a full fare business or first class ticket). This means that I will most likely continue to fly coach on the JFK-CDG routes. And I will most likely not be making more than 3 RT flights a year, so it's not like I'm going to become a Flying Blue Platinum member any time soon. This means that I can continue to look forward to crappy travel in economy class, as most airlines are downgrading coach service and upping business and first services. (Which frankly makes a lot of sense, if I were running an airline).

Anyway, I was talking about it all with my mom, who pointed out that in all the years I have been flying, I have rarely had any major problems. I decided to come up with a list of what I had considered to be very bad experiences (until now).

1. That time in 2005 when the H and I were returning to Paris on AF. This was on Dec 30th. We arrived at 9pm for check-in only to find that the flight was leaving at 3 a.m. and no one had called to tell me, nor was it listed on the AF website. That meant we had a good 6 hours to kill. The flight ended up boarding at 3:30 a.m. which meant that from 12 am - 3:30 am I couldn't go out for a smoke anymore because they had pretty much shut down the airport. Then my gluten-free meal wasn't on board either for some reason, and the flight attendant made a big show of giving me her salad, telling me that she was doing me a big favor, since all she got to eat as a flight attendant was a business class meal, and that she was personally doing me a huge favor. When I arrived in Paris the next afternoon, I turned on my phone to find that I had received a voice mail message sometime at 1 a.m. (NY time) that the flight was being delayed. Then I got an e-mail 2 days later telling my special gluten-free meal wouldn't be on the plane.

2. This past April or May I flew home one more time before the wedding, to check out alternate options for stuff like party favors, and to buy stuff like shoes and other accessories. It was on Alitalia, the CDG-Rome-Newark route. The flight in from Paris came in really late, so I had 5 minutes to get to the international part of Rome-Fiumicino. I got there just as they had finished boarding all the other passengers. The gate agent was in a hurry to get me on the plane, but I was all, "Wait! My luggage! Did it make it?" and he was all, "Si, si, everything's-a fine, we wait-a for your-a luggage, you get-a on-a the plane now". Well, one suitcase made it on the plane, but not the other, though it wasn't such a big deal as there wasn't much in it. The suitcase was delivered to me the next afternoon. But the flight was annoying as I was seated next to some crazy Italian guy who got really drunk and kept trying to talk to me while I was trying to watch "Blood Diamond".

3. Back in September 1998 I flew British Airways JFK-LHR-CDG as I was starting my study abroad in Paris. The JFK-LHR leg was not great as I was stuck in the very last row next to the toilets. I had a good 6 hours in London before I caught the LHR-CDG leg. I arrived at CDG only to find my luggage wasn't there, and had to speak to a BA baggage agent. It turned out that my suitcase DID arrive - only not entirely in one piece. BA somehow ripped the entire front part of my suitcase. They sent me to some suitcase place in Strasbourg Saint Denis the next day to get it repaired. Except the guy said the suitcase was beyond repair and gave me a choice of 3 hideous suitcases to replace mine.

4. Back in like, 1996 or 97, I flew Continental to meet my friends in Salt Lake City. They changed the boarding gate three times, and then the flight left 5 hours late.

5. That time I flew Lufthansa Vienna-Munich-CDG. The Vienna-Munich leg arrived late, and there was no transfer agent at the gate. By the time I made it out of the plane and into the terminal, I managed to find a transfer agent who told me it was too late to catch the Munich-CDG flight and I had to take the next one.

6. That time I was about 15-16 and with my parents in Shanghai and I got food poisoning from the room service food I had ordered the previous evening. My dad came to my hotel room to wake me up and I was so sick I couldn't get out of bed. He got really mad and yelled at me to get my ass up and moving, as we had a flight to catch. I got up and immediately puked in the bathroom. Then my parents made me pack my bags and we got into the limo and arrived at the Shanghai airport. My parents went to the special First Class check-in desk and I made a beeline for the garbage can where I promptly threw up all over it, much to the dismay and disgust of all the people who happened to be nearby. They had to take me to the airport doctor who said I had food poisoning (duh). I spent the Shanghai-Hong Kong flight trying desperately not to throw up.

7. That time I flew Air France CDG-JFK back in like, 2000 or something, and I was in coach, and got stuck sitting next to a mom and her 3-year old daughter. The kid was all over excited but managed to doze off about an hour before arriving. As we approached descent, the flight attendant had to tell the mother to put her kid back in her seat (the kid was sleeping on the mom's lap). The mom woke up the kid, who promptly started howling bloody murder, and kicked the seat in front of her like a crazy person. The kid continued screaming at the top of her lungs and everyone in the cabin started staring in anger. It went on for a good 30 minutes and then the other passengers started telling the mom to shut her kid up, whereupon the mom burst into tears and said it wasn't her fault she couldn't get her kid to stop crying and could everyone please stop staring at her like that? The howling continued until we arrived at the gate and passengers started to disembark. I had to edge my way out from the window seat so I could flee the screaming, which was giving me a migraine. I saw the same mom and kid at Customs and the kid was STILL screaming.

8. That time I flew AF from CDG to Rome to visit my friend. The flight was delayed for over 2 hours, and they made us stay on the plane the entire time. By the time I got to Rome, my friend was there waiting at the airport and he was fuming because apparently there were 2 other AF CDG-Rome flights that had left after my flight and arrived before.

9. Once I was on a flight Manchester-CDG on British Airways. There was a problem with the computers in the terminal, so they couldn't check-in people. Finally they managed to manually check in people, and I made it onto the plane. We sat there for a long time before we finally left the gate and lined up on the runway. The flight attendant started doing her "in case of emergency" demo when they decided to take us back to the gate and rebook us all onto the next flight out to CDG. Miraculously, there were just enough seats on this other flight to accommodate everyone who was on my flight, so the plane left with 100% of seats filled.

10. That time (same trip as #6) my mom and I were going to meet my dad in Hong Kong, and we flew United Airlines first class JFK-Tokyo-Hong Kong. When we got to Tokyo, they escorted us to the First Class Lounge, but I guess it was peak travel hours at Tokyo because the lounge was so crowded that there was no place to sit. They dug out a folding chair for my mom and I went off to explore the airport where I paid like $5 for some chewing gum. I have trouble sleeping when I travel, so I was awake for the entire 14 hour JFK-Tokyo flight and then totally passed out on the Tokyo-Hong Kong leg. I didn't even notice when they served me my meal and my mom had to slap me a few times to wake me up so we could get off the plane. I suppose that this was more of a bad experience for my mom than for me, though.

11. The same trip, my parents and I flew from Hong Kong to Guilin (a really small town in China, where my dad had to meet with some government officials). It was a really small coach-class only plane (I believe it was a regional airline company, something like China Southern Airlines or whatever - the flight was arranged by the officials my dad was going to be meeting with) and the flight attendant wouldn't let my dad sit in the front, even though my dad kept insisting he was a VIP First Class passenger. It led into a huge shouting match between my dad and the flight attendant (with the other like, 8 passengers not part of our family staring at us - and the shouting match ended up delaying the flight by 15 minutes). My dad kept saying that he was a VIP First Class passenger and the flight attendant kept saying that because it was a coach-class only flight, she couldn't accommodate his request. My dad said that even though it was a coach cabin flight, those with first class tickets are supposed to sit in the first row. The flight attendant said he wasn't allowed to sit in the first row because the first row was blocked for the flight attendants, and that he couldn't possibly have a first class ticket. My dad said flight attendants had their own seats, he knew her job better than she did, and he had first class tickets because he was flying as a guest of the government. We ended up being forced to sit in something like the 5th row, which meant that my dad kept grumbling and giving the flight attendant dirty looks. It wasn't so much a bad experience as it was embarrassing, especially for a teenage girl. (I kept telling my dad to chill out, the flight was like, not even 2 hours, but he said it was a question of principle).

12. That time back in 2002 or 2003 when I got upgraded to Business on an AF flight CDG-JFK since the flight was overbooked, mostly because I was a member of "Frequence Plus" and also because I wasn't wearing sneakers. (The ticket agent actually asked to see my shoes). When I got on the plane, it turned out that my seat had been double booked, and some guy who had actually paid for his business class ticket was supposed to be in my seat. He got upgraded to first class, and then another couple who had been upgraded to business asked if I wouldn't mind switching seats with one of them, because they wanted to sit together. So I said I didn't mind, and got to sit in the upstairs business class cabin. Except that my TV screen and headphones weren't working, so I couldn't watch any movies.

13. That time in 2003 when I was flying CDG-JFK on AF but I showed up at the airport too late and missed the flight. I had to pay something like $200 to be rebooked onto the next flight out, which was the next morning. And I got stuck in the middle seat in coach. Although technically, this was all my fault for not arriving at the airport in time.