What They Really Mean

As everyone undoubtedly knows, Nicolas Sarkozy has been vacationing in the U.S., in a frenzy of media attention (that has been cunningly planned on the part of Sarkozy).

A few news bytes, along with the true meaning behind the words:

"The French president, looking tan and relaxed in a white button-down shirt with the sleeves rolled up, said he jogs each morning and goes fishing every afternoon. He said he was enjoying the region's forests, lakes and small-town atmosphere. "I must say, I'm not disappointed," he said...Sarkozy, who has pledged to warm up French-U.S. relations since his election in May, said his choice of vacation spots had no political significance. "There are 900,000 French people who go to the United States every year, and I'm one of the 900,000," he said."
Link to article

Meaning: "Yes, I'm one of the 900,000 French people who come to America, but I am the President of France as well - I must continue the French tradition of kissing ass to powerful world leaders...and I picked Wolfeboro for its close proximity to Kennebunkport."

"Sarkozy, who skipped French vacation spots for a break on the shores of Lake Winnipesaukee, hinted at, but declined to confirm, a possible side trip to meet U.S. President George W. Bush. "The White House and the Elysee (the French presidential palace) will give an update of a possible meeting between president Bush and myself," Sarkozy told reporters. "Now is not the time to say anything." Wolfeboro, about 100 miles north of Boston, is just 50 miles from Kennebunkport, Maine, where the Bush family has an estate. President Bush is expected to visit Kennebunkport next weekend. A White House staff member in Washington also said that there was no announcement of a meeting."
Link to article

Meaning: Sarkozy: "Well, technically, Mr. Bush hasn't invited me yet, but I'm hoping he will. I mean, he's already invited Mr. Putin and Mr. Brown, but not MOI! Ah, yes, but I am quite clever - he can't not invite me now, since I am so conveniently close by to his summer home, AND he'll be here this coming weekend! I mean, you can't NOT invite a head of state who just so HAPPENS to be vacationing right nearby - it's all international protocol. (insert evil laugh) I am just way too smart!!!" Bush: "Dammit, I just can't catch a break, can I? That guy has been calling up my people for the last 6 months now for an official meeting! I have way more important things going on! Ugh, is there anyway I can get out of having to invite him to my personal vacation home? Can someone please do some research on international protocol and find a loophole? Like, maybe it says somewhere that when the President of the U.S. is on vacation, he can sort of ignore vacationing heads of state? I mean, I really NEED a vacation, what with the whole country hating me, and this mess in Iraq, and my immigration plan failed....(breaks down weeping)"

On Sarko freaking out on the photographers:
"The skirmish that ensued was brief but brusque. The Sarkozy vessel made a bee-line for the photographers. Once alongside, the scantily-dressed President leapt on to their boat, briefly seized the camera of DeWitt, and indulged in a lot of full-lung shouting. "The President was very agitated, speaking French at a loud volume very rapidly," was how DeWitt put it. The pair repeatedly tried to explain that neither of them understood M. Sarkozy. They asked for help with translation from someone else on his boat. At first, no one in the President's party seemed willing to assist."
Link to article

What was most likely the actual conversation:
Sarkozy: "Mais MERDE!!! PUTAIN! Mais ça va pas, non? Eh, franchement, je viens tout juste de faire une conférence de presse et maintenant vous voulez me prendre en photo ENCORE! Je vous ai pas donné la permission de venir ici! Oh, les sales Anglo-Saxons, franchement, je peux pas les blairer - ils se croient tous permis! Je DETESTE les américains!"
Photographer 1: "What? What's he saying?"
Photographer 2: "Dude, I don't know, I don't speak French. But I think he's mad - look, he's waving his arms around and his face is all red. (pause) He kinda looks like a bulldog..."
Photographer 1: "Uh, Mr. Sarkozy, we have official permission to be here..."
Sarkozy: "Oh! En plus, ces sales américains, ils parlent pas un mot de français! Ils sont pas civilisés! En même temps, remarque, maintenant Bush est carrément obligé de me voir..."
Photographers: "Uh, anyone speak French?"
Cecilia Sarkozy: "Ee zay zat you stop takeen zee photo. Ee zay ee don't wont photo. Ee just to geeve already conférence presse et ee zay no more photo, now ee relaxe eez vacazhon."
Photographer 1: "What?"
Photographer 2: "I think she said he doesn't want us to take pictures anymore."
Photographer 1: "Oh. Why not? I mean, he's like, the president of France. I thought he liked having his picture taken."
Photographer 2: "Dunno. Maybe it's 'cause he's short and doesn't look so hot in a bathing suit."

"The president believes in building personal relationships with other heads of state," he said of Bush. "This fits into that pattern. I'm sure they'll talk about some international matters. But this is not a summit, this is not something with an agenda. The agenda is 'Come by and let's visit.'"
Link to article

Meaning: Bush: "Dang! No loophole! Ugh, fine, invite the little son of a bitch, but make sure everyone knows that it's not an OFFICIAL INVITE. Try to word it so people get the gist that he invited himself."

In other news, here is an interesting article in the IHT about the whole integration process when you get your carte de séjour.