I Love the Embassy

To continue with the story from yesterday...

So I ran over to the U.S. Consular Section, which had formerly been in a lovely little hôtel particulier on the rue Saint-Florentin. I discovered that they had moved everything over to the Embassy grounds on the Avénue Gabriel (very, very chic), which made everything a bit complicated at first. The U.S. Embassy pretty much owns the entire block, so there are barricades everywhere and in order to continue down the street, you have to pass the first part of security. Then you go all the way down to almost the end of the street, which is the new Consular Section that handles U.S. Citizen Services and visas to the U.S.

I entered the Consular Section after a crazy security inspection into utter chaos - a huge mass of people huddled into a large room (albeit, a room with lots of vending machines and computers) and followed to signs that said "Please Take A Number At The Kiosk". The kiosk is this crazy high-tech thing that has options in French and English. There are three options at first, and you tap the screen for either "Immigrant Visa", "Non-Immigrant Visa", and "American Citizen Services". After I tapped the third menu, a whole new series of options popped up, among them "I Have Lost My Passport", "I Am Renewing My Passport", and "Notarial Services". I tapped "Notarial Services" and ended up with a numbered ticket: C880.

After what seemed like an excruciatingly long wait, I was called over to Window 15 and started screeching shrilly at the nice American lady behind the thick plexiglass. "Okay, so here's the deal: I'm getting married in July!" I yelled. "Um, okay..." said the consular lady, arching an eyebrow. "So, the mairie of the 16th says that my name is a first name and a middle name, but it's not, it's one name, but there's a space in between, is all, see? So they put a comma and separated my first name and they won't believe me when I told them it's my entire first name!" I continued hysterically, waving my birth certificate against the plexiglass. The consular lady nodded, with a bit of a smirk on her face. "Well, I have a couple of forms that might work: here is the "Attestation de l'identité et de nationalité américaine" (Certificate of Identity and Nationality) or this "Déclaration sur l'honneur" here that you can fill in and we can notarize for you. I think the first form should be fine," she said reassuringly. "Can I get them both?" I asked franticly. The consular lady frowned. "Yes, but you'll have to pay for them both." "Well, what if the crazy mairie people tell me that the first form is no good? Then I have to come back here and wait in line....AGAIN." The consular lady hesitated. "Hmm, you have a point. Okay." she said. Then she went and got some French guy who was working one of the American Citizen Service windows and asked him to write in French that my name was indeed one entire first name, that there was indeed a space, and that I had no middle name. The French guy looked confused at first. "Why am I writing this? This is ridiculous," he grumbled. "Look!" I screeched like a banshee, thrusting my birth certificate and the stupid attestation from the mairie with the comma in my name. I proceeded to scream the entire story to him through the plexiglass again, whereupon he laughed and shook his head, as if to say "Oh, those crazy fonctionnaires!"

After I paid my $30 (yes, at the U.S. Consulate, everything is in dollars) and another long wait, I had my 2 documents (for the price of one!) notarized, stamped, and signed.

Tomorrow we are off to the mairie to show stupid fonctionnaire my official notarized "whatever that thing is called from your Embassy."

I hope that ho will be satisfied.