The Name Game

The BF and I have been discussing, among other wedding related topics, the idea of me taking his last name. These days, I guess some people might consider taking one's husband's last name to be shocking, what with all the ladies keeping their own last names, but I don't think there is anything wrong with it whatsoever. In fact, I find it normal to take your husband's last name; after all, my mom did it! And it certainly makes things easier when a husband and wife have the same last name.

All this brings me to another topic. Many young people here in France, who happen to also be the children of immigrants, complain of discrimination when it comes to job hunting. That is, if you happen to have a non-French (meaning Arab, African, or Asian) name, companies will not even call you for an interview, even if your resumé proves that you are totally qualified and more for the job. There are always news features on TV here that show people belonging to minority groups struggling to land a job - they will send out a resumé with their real names, wait a few weeks, and then resend the same resumé, but with a Frenchified name. Disturbingly enough, they always receive phone calls after having sent out the second resumé. I admit that at first, I thought that was crazy! In my big-hearted American way, I was all "Wow, that is totally not possible. This is a modern country! Racism is so not cool!" Well, I was quite shocked upon hearing the story of a guy I know, who is a friend of a friend. Mohammed is of Arab origin, but is a graduate of H.E.C., or the French equivalent of Wharton (H.E.C. = high paying job after graduating). Mohammed couldn't get a job after graduation - so he went down to city hall and legally changed his first name to Marc. Lo and behold, he snagged himself a job not too long after!

I often can't help but wonder if I do not receive as many calls or requests for interviews because I have an Asian last name. The thing is, French people seem to have a hard time understanding that I am an American citizen - to a majority of the French, the fact that I have Asian features and an Asian last name, means that I am obviously from China/Japan/Korea/Vietnam/Thailand. They are confused, and maybe even perturbed, by the fact that I am the bearer of an American passport, and that English is my native language. I wonder if I will suddenly start receiving more job offers when I start sending out resumés with my new French last name.

Now, I don't know if it's just me, but I happen to find this whole thing rather disturbing. Being of Asian origin has never bothered me before - in fact, I never even thought twice about it. No one has ever mentioned it in all my years of growing up in New York. But when I first came to France as a student back in 1998, it was like, the number one topic all the time. People will shout out to me in the street, "Konichi-wa!" or "Ni hao!" in a manner that is condescending and disturbing (though, this phenomenon happens when I am by myself, never with the BF). I find myself having conversations with some French people who ask me what my nationality is - and when I say "Well, actually, I'm American" and they will say, "No, I mean your real nationality". I'll be all, "Yeah, I'm really American", and they'll be like, "Yeah, okay, but no, I mean, really, where are you from?"

Maybe I am reading way too much into it - I'm pretty sure that for the most part, a lot of it has to do with ignorance - the same kind of ignorance that prompts reactions like, "Your friend is Jewish? But s/he doesn't look Jewish!!!!" It's not in a mean-spirited manner that people will say this, but more of genuine shock, because they have always been brought up to believe in certain stereotypes, or because they don't have much interaction with other cultures. It could also be ignorance on my part, because as an American, one has the tendency to believe that everyone else is just like us, with the same beliefs and values, where in fact, they do not. There is a stronger sense of national identity, one that does not necessarily exist in America, a country founded on the idea of immigration. After all, anyone can be an American, but not everyone can be French (or German, etc.)

Edit: To be fair, I should point out that among friends and family, I have never, ever had any problems whatsoever. No one seems to think it is weird that I am Asian and American. It's really mostly just the random Jean-Pierre in the street, or at a party. Or like that time I went to get waxed and the waxer-girl would not shut up about it - but that will be another post.